Mass Effect: Suspicions
by MindSurfing
Summary: The war with the Reapers is rapidly approaching its conclusion, for better or worse. The combined forces of the galaxy are committed to uniting the Crucible and Catalyst in the belief this will somehow defeat the Reapers. Shepard's suspicions as to the outcome of using the Crucible have grown, but even if his suspicions are founded, there may be no way to change course.
1. Chapter 1 Suspicions

First time submitting a story, so I will apologize now for any faux pas that I commit going forward. Like many, I began writing alternative histories in my head following the ending of Mass Effect 3. With Mass Effect Andromeda drawing nearer I have been thinking of this again. I finally worked up the courage and desire to write this out. Also, I don't want it to exist only in my head. So, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this so many years after the release of Mass Effect 3 and I hope you do not feel your time was wasted. The story picks up at the death of Kai Leng and flows from there with many obvious changes. Since I have seen numerous others note this I will state I do not own these characters and I thank the writers and programmers at Bioware for creating them.

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Chapter 1 - Suspicions

As the "Rimmer" model hard light omni-blade winked out of existence, Shepard watched the thin layer of blood that had been clinging to it fall and spatter across the corpse of his fallen enemy. Kai Leng had been a bastard in life and fully deserved the end he had received, but he had been one other thing that robbed Shepard of any satisfaction in his victory. _Indoctrinated._ The word echoed in Shepard's mind. Vendetta, the Prothean virtual intelligence he had failed to obtain during the fall of Thessia, had stated as much, reconfirming the statement here aboard The Illusive Man's space station. Shepard had confirmed with his Prothean crew member, Javik, that the VI was indeed capable of such detection.

Following his failure on Thessia, Shepard had thought only of what had to occur to retrieve the VI and learn the information necessary to complete the Prothean super weapon that Alliance scientists had dubbed the Crucible. He was focused, desperate, and unhesitating. He and his crew had invaded the supposed safe haven of Sanctuary and learned of the horrible experiments Cerberus had performed on its refugees in the name of controlling the Reaper's minions and, ultimately, the Reaper's themselves. With the help of Miranda Lawson, Shepard's friend and a former Cerberus operative, he was able to track Kai Leng to the hidden space station of the Illusive Man, the mastermind of all Cerberus operations and projects. But he had again been too late. The Illusive Man had learned that the missing component of the Crucible, the Catalyst, was in reality the enormous space station that served as the center of galactic government and culture, the Citadel. The Illusive Man had learned this information, transmitted it to the Reapers, and vanished leaving behind his minion to attack Shepard and his crewmates.

Shepard struggled to make sense of the pieces of information. He knew The Illusive Man craved power for himself, for Cerberus, and ostensibly for humanity. It was no surprise that he would seize the Prothean VI and take for Cerberus the secrets it contained. It seemed he had obtained what he wanted. But then he had handed the information over to the Reapers. That, more than Vendetta's assurances, convinced Shepard that The Illusive Man was indeed indoctrinated. He was not a man to give away anything, let alone the key to power and, hopefully, the defeat of the Reapers. But if he was indoctrinated, then it was the Reapers who controlled him, feeding him fantasies of human dominance to keep him attacking the Alliance and the other races, turning even the supposedly safe haven of Sanctuary into an abbatoir. But if he was indoctrinated, why leave Vendetta behind if there was even a chance of Shepard retrieving and using the VI? Why sacrifice a powerful and reliable minion such as Kai Leng?

Shepard's mind was roiling with questions and doubts. He could not know when The Illusive Man's indoctrination occurred. It could not have been prior to the destruction of the Collector base. That had been orchestrated by The Illusive Man and resulted in the elimination of an enormous resource for the Reapers, including a partially constructed human-based Reaper. Unless The Illusive Man's failed efforts to keep the base intact represented a ploy to put the base in indoctrinated human hands. Shepard shook his head as he struggled with competing scenarios. If a mind as brilliant as that of The Illusive Man could be so manipulated, what did that say about Shepard's own decisions? Shepard had always considered himself a simple soldier, albeit one with a keen tactical ability and exceptional combat skills. Ever since the Reaper attack on Earth, Shepard felt like he had been trying to catch up with events. It occurred to him that often when one is behind it is because one is being led.

A shudder went through the station snapping Shepard out of his reverie. As he was struggling with his grasp of events, the Alliance bombardment of the station was continuing. Remaining on board was becoming more and more dangerous. Shepard looked from Kai Leng to the companions that had recently helped him defeat the Cerberus minions. EDI, an artificial intelligence housed in a feminine, robotic body, was scanning the computer systems for any additional information. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, the Quarian engineer who had stood by him throughout his ordeals and become much more than a crewmate, was standing guard with her shotgun at the ready, a combat drone orbiting her protectively. Shepard put aside his thoughts, but knew his mind would keep worrying at his concerns until he could make sense of them.

"Time to go", he bluntly stated. "EDI, bring every bit of information you found and make sure to bring Vendetta". Shepard paused a moment, "Make sure there are no booby traps in the data or the VI. The last thing we need is to fall into that sort of trap again".

"Yes, commander", EDI stated. "Data and VI acquired and ready for transport. No traps detected."

"Good. Inform Admiral Hackett we are moving to the extraction point and", Shepard looked around the room, "Find me whatever secret elevator, or stairs, or laundry chute The Illusive Man uses to get in and out of here. There's no way he was climbing ladders and ramps every time he wanted to come to his office".

A short elevator ride later and Shepard found himself not far from the hangar bay through which he and his comrades had initially invaded the station. The Cerberus troops had been scattered or killed, leaving only the beachhead that Admiral Hackett had maintained as an extraction point. There was no intention to take the station. With EDI in possession of what information could be taken from the computer as well as Vendetta, the station was one more piece of Cerberus that the Admiral intended to obliterate. Shepard boarded a new shuttle with his pilot, Steve Cortez, at the controls. "Next stop, the Normandy", Cortez called back to his passengers. Shepard did not react, he was already further considering the information he had learned, trying to plan what to do next. He had been staring at a blank bulkhead for several seconds when he felt a gentle touch on his leg.

Shepard turned and looked into the glowing spots that were Tali's eyes, all he could really see of her face through her helmet. He could picture her face within. She had removed her helmet and shared her true appearance with him when they became lovers prior to the destruction of the Collector base. Her turned his full attention to her, picturing that beautiful face tense with worry.

"You're going to give yourself worry lines squinting like that", she chided. Her light tone masked her worry, but Shepard had come to know her well enough to read the tension in her body language and tone.

"I was just thinking the same thing about you", Shepard joked back.

"Another advantage of a Quarian environmental suit, no worry lines", she paused, "at least none visible".

With that last statement they both let the feigned lightness of their moods drop. She removed her hand from his leg and took his hand between both of hers. "I can see the tension in you Shepard, we'll get the Citadel from the Reapers and use the Crucible somehow. We have to".

Shepard could feel Tali straining for some way to reassure him, to comfort him. And she was right. With the Reapers having taken the Citadel and moved it to Earth, their only hope was to bring the Crucible to Earth and somehow link it with the Catalyst and, then what? Profit? Every scientific source in every participating species claimed the Crucible was immensely powerful and contained enormous quantities of energy that could be released, but no one was sure precisely what form that release would take. Everyone seemed to take it on faith that this would be powerful enough to somehow defeat the Reapers. Apparently, the Protheans thought so. So did multiple previous civilizations who had attempted to build and deploy the device. None had succeeded. The collected species of this cycle intended to be the first, but Shepard realized there were an awful lot of ifs. He also realized he had drifted into his thoughts again and that Tali was sitting and patiently holding his hand while he worked through his thoughts.

"Apologies", Shepard said, "I have a lot on my mind about how we are going to manage to pull this off". "I feel like we're doing everything we can and we'll get the Crucible to the Citadel and access the Catalyst somehow, but I've got my concerns too". Shepard would never voice these thoughts to the crew as a whole, but Edi had withdrawn to give him and Tali privacy and Cortez was busy piloting the shuttle. Before Tali had become his lover, she was his friend and confidante. Talking with her seemed to help his thoughts flow more easily, maybe even to help untangle his current doubts.

"I can see your concern", she stated, reaching up to rub the crease between his eyebrows. "I've never seen anyone pick apart a tactical problem the way you do, Shepard. Give me a beat up skycar and a few hours and I'll make it capable of flying us to the migrant fleet. That's where my talent lies. Trust your talent. Trust your gut, as you say. If you have worries, then keep picking at them. If you have doubts about how plans are being executed, then start coming up with other options, other contingencies. I'll back you up whatever you decide to do. The whole crew will". She said that last with clear conviction and Shepard knew she was right. About all of it. The crew trusted him completely and would follow him into and through whatever hell awaited them. Which meant he could pick apart his doubts and make contingencies knowing he had the resources to execute them if necessary.

Shepard suddenly turned and took Tali into a full embrace, hugging her closely to himself, engulfing her petite body with his much larger frame. He just held her like that for several seconds, holding tight to her in the midst of everything. He finally released her and held her at arm's length by her slender shoulders, looking into those glowing spots. Finally he whispered, low and just for her, "I love you, Tali. I am a better man when I'm with you and I'm glad I finally realized how much you mean to me. And you are right. I need to work through my concerns and making contingency plans will help with that. I wish I had been doing that all along, but I can't change that. I can only go forward. The next thing I need to do is pay a visit to Admiral Hackett. Along with Vendetta."


	2. Chapter 2 Misgivings

Chapter 2 - Misgivings

Shepard stood in a conference room aboard the SSV Orizaba, the flagship of the Alliance's fifth fleet, waiting for the arrival of Admiral Hackett. The battle to destroy the Cerberus fleet and Cronos station had concluded with Cerberus thoroughly routed. Cerberus had been surprisingly strong and well equipped, but not to the point of being able to directly challenge the Alliance Navy. Forced into a direct confrontation, Hackett had used the information obtained from the Cerberus general, Oleg Petrovsky, and focused overwhelming force on the organization destroying the Cerberus station and fleet with minimal damage to the Alliance forces. Shepard knew preparations were already being made to rendezvous with the forces of the other galactic powers with the goal of moving the Crucible to the Citadel, now located in the Sol system. Shepard was filled with greater and greater misgivings regarding this plan, despite all the work he had done to ensure the Crucible was built and readied for use. He intended to give voice to those misgivings with Admiral Hackett. But before he could do that he had another task to complete. One that should be relatively simple to carry out, but filled Shepard with even greater anxiety. He checked for the thousandth time that the Prothean VI, Vendetta, was active, hidden, and able to communicate with him through the communication device in his ear.

The whoosh of the automated door announced Admiral Hackett's arrival. Shepard turned and saluted Hackett as required, but also out of genuine respect for the Admiral. Shepard stood tense as Hackett greeted him distracted as he waited for a judgment that would either bring intense relief or signal the possible end of hope for saving the Galaxy.

"No indoctrination detected", Shepard heard quietly in his ear. Shepard let out a breath he did not realize he had been holding and visibly relaxed. This had not been missed by Hackett.

"Is there something you would like to say, Commander?", Hackett asked. "Your request for a face-to-face meeting was unusual enough, but you've gone from anxiety to relief in the time it took me to cross this room. Now would be a good time to explain what is going on".

Shepard considered for a moment, but quickly realized his best bet with Hackett was honesty. "My apologies, sir, for the inconvenience. It is important that I discuss concerns that I have developed regarding our use and deployment of the Crucible and", Shepard paused and took a breath, "I needed to confirm that the commander of Alliance forces had not been indoctrinated". Shepard stood silent waiting for Hackett's response to this statement.

Hackett stood silently for a few moments as well, his brow furrowed in thought. "What on Earth would cause you to suspect me of indoctrination?" Hackett asked, genuine confusion in his voice.

"I absolutely mean no offense, sir", Shepard replied. "No one has done more than you to protect the Alliance and fight the Reapers. But, we know how insidious indoctrination can be and, if I may speak freely, sir?"

"Of course", Hackett replied.

"You have been determined from the moment it was discovered that the Crucible is the only way for us to defeat the Reapers. As I stated, I have been having more and more concerns regarding the Crucible. If those concerns are even partly correct, then pushing for the Crucible's construction and use could be in the interests of the Reapers. This would be consistent with indoctrination. An individual convinced of the rightness of his actions while in reality serving the Reapers".

Hackett stood thinking. "I'm certainly relieved, Commander, that you consider me free of indoctrination, but I would be interested in how you came so confidently to that conclusion".

"Of course, sir. Vendetta, please show yourself to Admiral Hackett".

A green VI, Prothean in appearance manifested. "Confirming, no indoctrination detected", Vendetta intoned.

"Vendetta was in the possession of the Asari, though I don't believe they were aware of his existence. When Kai Leng", Shepard hestitated, "defeated me on Thessia, he obtained Vendetta for The Illusive Man. Vendetta had the information that the Citadel is the Catalyst and indicated it would help us to link the Crucible and the Catalyst. This was how The Illusive Man learned the Citadel was actually the Catalyst. The Illusive Man gave this information to the Reapers resulting in them moving the Citadel to the Sol system, to Earth."

"So you're telling me this VI can identify indoctrination just by interacting with someone?"

"Yes, sir. I confirmed it with the Prothean in my crew. Javik indicated that late in their war, after the Protheans had come to realize the true danger of indoctrination, they were able to build VIs that used a refined form of the Prothean ability to sense information about individuals to be able to detect indoctrination".

Hackett rubbed his chin in thought. "So, we could copy this VIs code and use it to quickly detect indoctrination throughout our forces?"

"Unfortunately, no. The hardware the Protheans used was built to use the ability they possess to learn information at levels beyond our capabilities. Javik explained that while we could copy the code, without Prothean hardware the VI would lack the ability to detect indoctrination".

"Damn. You really had my hopes up for a moment, Shepard. Do you trust the accuracy of this VI".

"Yes, sir, I do trust Vendetta to accurately identify indoctrination. It stated that Kai Leng and the Illusive Man were indoctrinated. I trusted it enough that before I requested this meeting I performed a walkthrough to check on the status of my crew and, happily, Vendetta did not detect any indoctrination". That had been more than a relief for Shepard to know that the crew he trusted, the woman he loved, were not under the mind control of his deadliest enemies.

Hackett continued thinking for several seconds before suddenly changing topics. "Despite your earlier praise, Shepard, you are the one who has done more to fight the Reapers than anyone, myself included. You recognized the Reaper threat before we knew what Sovereign was and you bought us time to prepare for the arrival of Harbinger. Every time we have been slow to listen to you, either the Alliance or the Council, it has cost the galaxy in lives and destruction. That's why I am making the time to hear your concerns. I've learned the price of not listening. So tell me, what are these concerns you have regarding the Crucible."

Shepard exhaled and gathered his thoughts. "Sir, I had my doubts about the Crucible from its discovery, but, despite my efforts to aid in its construction, these doubts have mounted as this war has progressed. I believed it strange that we found it at exactly the moment we needed it. That could be a result of desperation as Liara once told me, but my concerns have grown. Despite our efforts at concealment, I find it difficult to believe that the Reapers are unaware of the massive construction project it represents. I was being approached by people on the Citadel offering assistance with the project. We've recruited vast numbers of individuals to work on it. The Reapers have to know of its existence and location. Why would they not attempt to stop its construction? Why would they not move to stop us now that The Illusive Man has told them what we intend? Not only that, but as far as I know we still have no idea what the Crucible will even do, other than release an enormous amount of energy. Everything about this feels…off". Shepard came to a halt and realized everything he had said had spilled out with him barely taking a breath.

Admiral Hackett stood thinking. "Is that why you came in here believing I might be indoctrinated?"

"Yes, sir, again with my apologies. You have devoted enormous resources to the construction and deployment of the Crucible. You've stated repeatedly that we cannot beat the Reapers in any other way, meaning we have all our eggs in one basket. If the Crucible is not the answer then we have no alternative. We lose and the galaxy dies. That's why I had my suspicions regarding indoctrination".

"I hear your concerns, Shepard. Every concern you've mentioned has been considered by the scientific staff and military advisors I have available. You ask why I believe we can't beat the Reapers conventionally? Every analysis leads to that conclusion. That means our only chance is to fight them unconventionally. We've considered multiple options, but none give us any hope apart from the Crucible. All the available information indicates the Crucible is the only path that gives us even a slim chance for victory, so we could not very well divert resources to other, unpromising avenues. The information indicates it will generate enough energy to destroy multiple Reapers if we can deploy it correctly. The Protheans seemed to think it would do the job and we're having to trust that they knew what they were doing even though they were apparently never able to deploy it. From what you are saying, the Prothean VI standing right here was designed to help ensure the use of the Crucible. I understand your concerns, Shepard, but the die is cast. We know the Reapers are aware of our plans and have moved the Citadel to Earth. They may not know the specifics of the Crucible or may be arrogant enough to believe it is not a threat. They may be hoping to destroy our combined forces in one battle. Regardless, we are committed to this path. The Reapers could change their strategy and come after us at any time, so we must act. We are launching our attack on the Reapers and bringing the Crucible to the Citadel in less than a day. Trying to change that now would sow confusion and doubt and fracture this alliance. In fact, Vendetta, do you detect any sign of indoctrination in Commander Shepard?"

"No indoctrination detected", replied the VI. It had not occurred to Shepard to question his own mental state, but it was a shock to have it questioned and relief to have it confirmed to be his own.

Shepard frowned, but began to affirm that he would follow his orders, but Hackett interrupted. "You're a good soldier Shepard. I know you would follow what orders you're given. I haven't been shy about claiming you for the Alliance when it was to our advantage and calling you an independent Spectre when circumstances called for it. We are proceeding with the Crucible plan, but I respect your ability to tear apart a problem and find solutions in the moment. You have very little time, but if you can come up with contingency plans or identify a problem you can address then I want you free to act. I am officially detaching you from the Alliance fleet. You will not be committed to our order of battle and will have the freedom to deploy your ship and your people in whatever way you believe is most helpful to defeating the Reapers. I do expect you to support the efforts of our combined fleet and keep me informed regarding any plans you make".

"Of course, sir. Thank you for the opportunity to investigate this further. I will support the fleet and inform you of any new information or ideas I come up with".

"One final thing, Shepard", said Hackett. "Your use of the VI to covertly investigate indoctrination was smart". We don't have the time or resources for an extensive investigation, but I want you to repeat your trick when we arrive at the rendezvous point for the combined fleet. I will arrange a final face-to-face meeting of the fleet commanders. I want you there to repeat what you just did here. I want to make sure that there is no indoctrination present in the leadership that will be commanding the attack on the Reapers".


	3. Chapter 3 - Explorations

Chapter 3 - Explorations

"…So, to summarize, we are moving now to rendezvous with the combined fleets. We will then move en masse to Earth to deliver the Crucible to the Citadel, which we just recently learned is the Catalyst needed to trigger the power of the Crucible. With the Citadel sealed, Sword fleet will engage the Reapers allowing ground troops to reach London and connect with resistance forces before assaulting the energy beam that is reportedly being used to transport humans to the Citadel, likely as part of creating a new Reaper. Each of you is the best at what you do and I would trust you with my life. Hell, at this point I trust you with the fate of the galaxy. So if you have any thoughts, ideas, or see anything we could be doing differently, speak up. Hackett gave me independence, but unless we have good reason to do otherwise we will support Sword fleet and aid the ground assault to access the Citadel."

Shepard looked around at the thoughtful faces of his most trusted friends and crew. He had gathered them in the conference room of the Normandy to lay out the upcoming assault and see if they could come up with something he had missed. James Vega, never shy about jumping into a conversation, spoke up first.

"So I get that you're suspicious of the Crucible, but can you be more specific as to why? And even if you have suspicions, what's the point of trying to come up with ideas now? We're literally on our way to meet the fleet and attack the Reapers."

Shepard sighed and shook his head, answering Vega's second question first. "As to why I'm asking for these ideas at the eleventh hour I can only say that I fell into the same trap as so many others. I wanted to believe the problem would be solved by the Crucible and ended up following along rather than pushing for alternatives. I can only blame myself for that. But even at this point we may find alternatives that will improve our chances to defeat the Reapers. Sometimes it's the last minute solutions that are the ones that work, like they did for us on Ilos". Shepard felt Tali's hand close on his in support. He looked down at her and smiled gratefully. "As to the reasons for my concerns about the Crucible, no, I can't really be more specific. I don't have any proof the Crucible is anything other than what the scientists claim it to be, but what they know is maddeningly vague. The best scientists of a half dozen species and all we can come up with is 'it will do something and the Reapers will be defeated?' Even Vendetta isn't providing anything more helpful. Vendetta, explain what will happen when you interface with the Catalyst and Crucible."

The green Prothean VI manifested and stated, "If you have correctly assembled the device you refer to as the Crucible according to the available design parameters then I will interface with it and the Catalyst to implement the Crucible's designed functionality to defeat the Reapers".

"Annnd, what specifically will that functionality entail?", asked Shepard.

"The specific method and form by which the energy of the Crucible will be discharged and directed has been encrypted and is inaccessible. Accessing the Crucible and Catalyst will unlock these protocols allowing activation of the Crucible. This security was implemented by project leader Pashek Vran to ensure agents of the machines could not learn the specific means in which the Crucible would be used and devise a defense against it".

Shepard sighed again. "I had EDI examine the encryption prior to this meeting. EDI, what did you learn?"

EDI's voice came through the ship speakers. Since she essentially was the ship, she had no need for her autonomous body to be present. "The encryption present in Vendetta is the most advanced Prothean encryption I have encountered. Additionally, it appears there are safeguards built into the hidden data that would delete and destroy the data and Vendetta if the encryption is tampered with. Given that Vendetta may be necessary to the successful operation of the Crucible and Catalyst, I calculated it was best not to attempt such tampering".

"Thank you, EDI. So you see", Shepard said, "We're again operating with only the vaguest of ideas what we're doing. I don't feel at all comfortable operating so much on faith".

"Sometimes faith is all we've got, Skipper", asserted Ashley. "But that doesn't mean I'm against covering our bases. Do we really have any other options at this point?"

Garrus Vakarian had been sitting silently and pondering. "What if we come at this from a totally different angle. If we're trying to get aboard the Citadel, is there any way we can get aboard a different way? Your mention of Ilos got me thinking about the Conduit there we used a few years ago to board the Citadel during the battle with Sovereign. Maybe we can use it again to bypass the whole Reaper fleet."

Shepard shifted his focus to Garrus and looked thoughtful. "Would that even work? The Reapers moved the Citadel from its original location to Earth." Despite this concern, a note of hope had crept into Shepard's voice.

Liara spoke up. "Actually, with linked mass relays, either end can be moved without interfering in their ability to create a mass effect corridor. Our scientists have theorized that mass relays are linked by the equivalent of a quantum entanglement communicator allowing the relays to communicate and orient themselves so that shifts in position over time do not destroy the usefulness of the relay network. This was what allowed us to make use of the Mu Relay to reach Ilos despite it having been hurled out of position by a supernova." Shepard felt a surge of hope that Garrus' idea might provide a solution to accessing the Citadel, however Liara continued and her words crushed that hope. "Unfortunately, the Conduit on Ilos is unavailable for a different reason. Following the defeat of Sovereign, scientific expeditions were sent to examine the relay built by the Protheans in hopes of reverse engineering their design for our own use. Those scientists disassembled much of the apparatus and rendered it unusable."

"Damn it", Shepard said in frustration. "You had me hoping for a moment there."

Javik, the Prothean that had joined Shepard following his rescue from cryogenic slumber, spoke. "In most things, the direct path is the most effective. You should strike at the Citadel directly and find an alternative entrance or, failing that, make your own".

EDI spoke again in response to this. "The Citadel is designed to have no external access when it is sealed defensively as it currently is reported to be. The Citadel itself is constructed of the same material as the mass relays and is nearly indestructible. Any attack that could breach the hull and provide access would likely take time and cause significant damage to the station and would likely fail in any event due to the presence of the Reaper fleet."

"So you say", Javik replied. "Commander, can the analysis of this EDI machine be trusted?"

"Of course EDI can be trusted, Javik", Shepard replied. "We're all on the same side here. EDI and the Geth included". Shepard stared at Javik, willing him to accept that last statement.

"I would remain vigilant, Commander. In case you are mistaken regarding the motivations of these machines." Javik fell silent after this statement and Shepard knew that was likely the best he would get from the Prothean.

Cortez, the primary shuttle pilot for the Normandy, had been staring at the hologram of the Citadel hovering over the center of the conference table. "What about that beam between the surface and the Citadel. Is there any way we can access that with the shuttle or even in space suits to make a quick entry and avoid having to assault the base of the beam?"

It was EDI who spoke again. "The available data from the resistance regarding this energy beam indicates that it is essentially a short range, likely one-way, continuously operating mass effect corridor. Eezo generators at the base of the corridor create a mass drop in whatever matter enters the beam and it is propelled nearly instantaneously to the Citadel. Absent this controlled entry process, matter entering along the length of this Conduit would be ripped apart as it crossed this energy barrier. Accessing the energy beam other than from the London entry point is not a viable option".

Tali had been unusually quiet, but broke her silence now. "Is there any way we could use the Leviathan artifacts to help? Back on their world we saw them take control of some of the Reaper forces and they even killed one of the Reaper capital ships."

Shepard scratched at his seemingly permanent stubble. "That's a good thought Tali, but the usefulness of the artifacts is limited. The Leviathans were able to kill that lone Reaper, which is impressive, but they were on their home turf with a single Reaper. Our analysts don't believe they can apply that power on a larger scale, as much as the Leviathans might like to. They have fallen far from what they once were and seem to have the desire, if not the ability, to reclaim their control of the galaxy. Because of this, I don't trust them. If we manage to defeat the Reapers I don't want their artifacts that can essentially indoctrinate us sitting around."

Tali sighed, mirroring Shepard's frustration. Dead ends and more dead ends. Shepard's aggravation had become a constant pressure in his head. He tried something that he knew was a reflection of his desperation. "Joker, I know you have been listening. Do you have any ideas to offer?"

"Actually," Joker's voice came over the intercom, "I was wondering why all the C words. The Protheans seem to like their Vs. Who came up with the Cs. Citadel, Catalyst, Conduit, Cerberus. Is it all a Coincidence or is there some Conspiracy?"

Shepard could hear the way Joker hit the starting C on each word. He pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation and shook his head. Around the table his crew were rolling their eyes.

"I am monitoring a significant increase in eye rolling in the conference room, Jeff, though I have calculated it to always be non-zero after you offer an observation", came EDI's voice over the speaker.

Joker struck a disappointed tone. "Just eye rolling? I thought that would at least be worth some moaning and groaning as well." Some light chuckles went round the table at that comment and Shepard remembered that sometimes Joker's ability to lighten the mood could be useful as well.

"Setting Joker's probing insights aside", Shepard chuckled, "I want each of you to keep alert to opportunities and let me know if you have further ideas. I appreciate the insight each of you bring and how we can stimulate each others' ideas. We may not be the ones to save the day, but we may see a trap before it is sprung or an opportunity for the fleet or ground forces to take advantage. I will be going down to London to aid in the assault on the base of the Conduit. EDI will come with me to maintain a connection with the Normandy. The Normandy will support Sword fleet during the battle, but remain at the periphery of the battle allowing the ship to withdraw and rendezvous if necessary. Cortez, after we land in London, I want you to stay with the shuttle and be prepared to move the crew or return to the Normandy to take advantage of any circumstances that may arise. Ash, you and James will be going to London to assist Alliance forces in preparing and launching the attack on the Conduit. I wouldn't think of trying to keep you out of this fight."

"Damn straight", the two of them said in near unison, then glanced at each other and smiled.

Shepard continued, "I need you, Garrus, to coordinate with the Turian ground forces and provide any assistance you can. I need the rest of you to remain on the ship and assist how you can here until the need arises to deploy you elsewhere. Unless some other possibilities arise, this is the plan. I trust each of you to use your best judgment as well as to follow my orders during the course of the upcoming battle. I will be going to meet with Admiral Hackett one last time when we reach the fleet in less than an hour. Shortly after I return we will be transiting to Earth to finally confront and, if the Crucible works, destroy the Reapers. Tali, I would appreciate if you would stay for a moment. Everyone else is dismissed."

As everyone rose to prepare for the upcoming battle, Garrus interjected. "Shepard, a thought just occurred to me. Where the hell is The Illusive Man?" Around the table everyone froze in the middle of rising to depart. Shepard froze as well. He kicked himself mentally for not asking that question himself. The Illusive Man was nowhere to be found on Cronos Station. He had taken the data about the Catalyst, passed it to the Reapers, taunted Shepard by QEC, and vanished. Shepard shook his head. "I don't know, Garrus. But I'm certain he hasn't given up on his insane plan. Vendetta indicated he had gone to the Citadel, but we can't be sure that is true. Wherever he is now, he will have to be present at the upcoming battle in order to try to control the Reapers. When he shows himself again, it will be at a time that will allow him to try to achieve this, though he will really be serving the Reaper's goals. Each of you remember that and keep your eyes open for when that happens."

The crew stood and departed to their various stations. Tali waited patiently until the conference room had cleared. "I'm glad you asked me to stay behind, Shepard. You don't intend to take me down to the surface to attack the Conduit?" Her voice and body were tense.

"Tali. There is nowhere I would rather have you than at my side as we go into this battle. But what I want has to be secondary to what I believe will best serve our cause. If we reach the Citadel, when we reach the Citadel, I don't know what we will find or what we may need to do to activate the Crucible. I want to account for every possible contingency I can think of. To that end I want you to work with EDI on possible ways we can take control of the Citadel's systems or combat the Reapers directly using the resources we have gathered. After the first Battle of the Citadel I made sure to keep a copy of the program we obtained from Vigil that allowed us to take control of the Citadel. I stashed it in a safety deposit box on the Citadel and paid it up for ten years." Shepard thought back to those times. "It seemed like I had all the money in the world back then. Anyway, I retrieved the OSD when we returned to the Citadel."

Tali crossed her arms. "You kept your own copy of the program. What were you planning to do with that, Shepard?"

"I knew we weren't done fighting the Reapers and it had proved more than useful, so I made sure it wouldn't get lost in the Alliance archives, accidentally or otherwise. Think of it as Spectre's privilege. Now I'm hoping to use it to help save the galaxy." Tali could not help but be mollified by this fact. "We've obtained examples of Reaper code that might be useful. You can also access the data we obtained from Sanctuary that supposedly allowed Cerberus to take control of Reaper forces on a small scale, though I doubt it will be effective on a large scale as The Illusive Man believes".

Tali drew back slightly at the suggestion of using the data from Sanctuary given how it had been obtained. Shepard took her hands and said, "I know, I know, Tali. That place was monstrous, but if the data can provide us with additional ideas on how to combat the Reapers or The Illusive Man, then we can't simply ignore it."

Tali cleared her throat before speaking. "That place and everything connected with it should be wiped from existence, Shepard. But if using the data from that place will help us to stop the galactic genocide that is occurring right now, then I will do as you order." Tali made it clear that she was following this as an order from her superior, not because she agreed. Shepard felt disappointed that he may have lost even a small measure of respect from her, but not so much as to give up a possible tool to save the galaxy.

"Thank you, Tali. I don't give such orders lightly and will atone how I can when we make it through this. One last thought. When we reach the rendezvous, coordinate with the Geth as well. Their upgrades consist of Reaper code and may fill in gaps from the other sources we have. Do you have all that as well, EDI?"

"Of course, Shepard. Tali and I will begin compiling these data sources and see what we can prepare for the upcoming battle."

"Thank you again, both of you." Shepard looked at Tali again before taking her into a long hug. He closed his eyes and just held her like that for several seconds, enjoying the way her body fit into his. Enjoying the way her arms wrapped around his body in answer to his embrace. "I would prefer to stay like this, but I have to prepare for the meeting with Admiral Hackett. We'll have more time for us soon, I promise." Tali simply nodded and backed away, keeping hold of Shepard's hand until their outstretched fingers could no longer touch. Then she turned and walked through the door leading to the CIC. Shepard stared after her and fervently hoped he would be able to keep his promise.


	4. Chapter 4 - Preparations

Chapter 4 – Preparations

Shepard stood next to Joker's seat in the bow of the Normandy, watching as the ship decelerated from FTL travel into the Pax system of the Horse Head Nebula. Prior to assaulting the Cerberus forces in the Anadius System, Admiral Hackett had sent word to the other fleets to assemble for a hopefully war ending strike on the Reapers. The expectation had been that with knowledge of the Catalyst, the fleet would escort the Crucible to the Catalyst and end the Reaper threat. With the Reaper presence non-existent in the Horse Head Nebula, it seemed the safest place for the fleets to gather. Admiral Hackett had not been aware at the time that the Catalyst and Citadel were one in the same or that the Reapers had taken the Citadel and moved it to the Sol System, making the upcoming battle that much more necessary and that much more desperate. Shepard was taking the Normandy to that rendezvous, knowing the fleet would have to begin its assault very soon.

"Joker, take us to the relay, then take us one light minute ninety degrees north of the orbital plane. The fleets are gathering at that location", Shepard ordered.

"Aye, aye, Sir", Joker replied, "Is there a doorbell to ring, or should I just fly in like we own the place?"

"We'll transmit the clearance and recognition code on our arrival." Shepard, tense due to what he knew was coming when the fleets began to move, chose to ignore the humor from his helmsman.

The location of the fleet rendezvous point placed the ships well off any traveled route and hopefully outside any immediate sensory detection from either Cerberus or the Reapers. Given the thorough destruction of the Cerberus forces and the fact that the Reapers had not sent any presence to the nebula likely made such precautions unnecessary, but the fleet commanders were not going to take chances. While destroying the Cerberus forces was a necessary action, Shepard could not help regretting that they had just expended time and resources destroying ships and soldiers that could have aided in the fight against the Reapers, if they had not been controlled by a man who unwittingly served the Reapers' interests.

"Ten seconds to rendezvous", Joker reported.

"Good, send our confirmation code when we arrive and inquire as to when Admiral Hackett will be available."

The ship decelerated a second time. Shepard let out a low whistle at the sight before them. The Normandy was moving rapidly toward a massive flotilla of ships. The ships they were approaching appeared to be of Turian design and represented all ship classes from the smaller frigates to the enormous dreadnoughts. Groups of fighters flew patrol routes at the perimeter, flying past the Normandy as it approached.

"Keelah", Shepard heard from behind him. Tali had come forward to stand with him during the approach. "I've spent my whole life in the Migrant Fleet, but seeing this is amazing. And for every ship we can see there are still whole fleets nearby outside visual range".

Shepard knew she was right and that she was right to be impressed. If his reports were correct the available collected fleets of every spacefaring species were present within this small section of space. And, if all went as planned, they would soon be moving with the Crucible to Earth. Shepard swallowed hard. Every bit of power they had remaining was about to be thrown at the Reapers. If the Crucible failed, if they failed, it meant the end of Galactic civilization and, he glanced at Tali, the destruction of everyone and everything he loved. For just a moment, he felt the weight of it crushing down on his shoulders and he sagged imperceptibly.

This was not missed by Tali, always sensitive to body language, especially Shepard's. She reached over and touched his arm, sliding her hand down and into his. Shepard felt a sense of strength whenever he was with her and just that touch caused him to stand a little straighter. He looked down at her and smiled. "It's okay", he said. "Just feeling the strain for a moment".

"You're not going to face this alone", she stated. "We're all with you, I'm with you, to whatever end we find".

"I truly believe that, Tali. You have always been there for me. It's one of the reasons I have been able to keep going in the face of all this". Shepard turned back to Joker. "Get me that estimate on when Hackett will be available and let Cortez know I need the shuttle ready to transport me to the Orizaba. I'll fill everyone in when I return from this meeting."

* * *

One hour later Shepard was standing in the same room aboard the SSV Orizaba in which he had spoken to Hackett previously. Hackett entered and, after Shepard made his salute, shook Shepard's hand. "Thanks for joining me again, Shepard. I've arranged for a face-to-face meeting with the fleet commanders to review final preparations for our assault, ostensibly as a way to ensure no last minute information leaks or misunderstandings. Typically, this would be done through ship to ship communications, but I wasn't going to pass up the chance to verify that our most important strategists and commanders are free of indoctrination."

Shepard knew that even as he had spent time making plans and delegating tasks, Hackett had done the same. "What is your plan for checking the various leaders?" Shepard asked.

"Each of the fleet commanders will have to dock and disembark separately. As they enter the ship we will be in position for the Prothean VI to scan them and immediately tell us if there is any trace of indoctrination. The VI will alert us through a private channel and I will have guards and countermeasures in place to incapacitate him or her as needed, though I am hoping this is all for nothing".

"Likely so, Admiral. But I've learned the hard way that it is better not to take chances dealing with the Reapers."

"Agreed. While we are waiting for the arrival of the other commanders, join me for a tour of my ship. It will be good for morale for the crew to see you and we can double check as much of my own crew as possible for indoctrination. I trust my crew, but as you said, I'm not taking any chances."

As they walked the ship Hackett described the Orizaba proudly. Each station they passed, the crew members snapped to attention, but also stared. It did not take long for Shepard to realize he was being regarded with something like awe, and was becoming more uncomfortable as they went. Shepard knew that he was regarded as a hero by many within and outside the Alliance, but it never sat well with him. He had always sought to do his best, to be the best he was capable of being. He personally believed that he had often simply been in the right place at the right time to stop tragic events from occurring, but had always believed any Alliance soldier would have tried to do the same. Shepard was no fool. He knew the value of a hero to morale and recruitment, so he played the part. But that didn't mean he had to like it.

Hackett ended the tour at the flight deck where the other commanders would arrive. There were guards there as an honor detail, though Shepard knew they had another purpose as well. He carried his own Carnifex pistol, but wore no armor. For him to wear armor in these circumstances would be unusual at best and could tip off an indoctrinated agent at worst.

The first of the shuttles landed. Shepard checked for at least the fifth time that Vendetta was online even though it was not visible. General Adrien Victus, the Turian Primarch, and a Turian Shepard did not recognize stepped onto the deck of the Orizaba. Before any greetings could occur, Shepard heard in his ear, "No indoctrination detected." Shepard knew that Admiral Hackett and the guard detail had heard this as well. Shepard breathed his first quiet sigh of relief. He had liked the Primarch ever since they worked together on Tuchanka to bring an end to the genophage.

"Permission to come aboard, Admiral." Victus did not really make it sound like a question, more like a simple statement of fact.

Admiral Hackett appeared to agree as he stepped forward and shook Victus' hand. "Welome aboard Primarch. Thank you for coming. I will have you escorted to the conference room and I will be there shortly."

"Of course", the Primarch replied. This is my aide, Lieutenant Mehrkuri." The aide saluted sharply, Victus would not have an aide who could not handle a diplomatic situation such as this. Admiral Hackett returned the aides salute and directed the escort to take the pair of Turians to the conference room. As he walked by the Primarch simply nodded to Shepard and said, "Good to see you again, Commander".

Once they were out of earshot, Hackett turned to Shepard and stated simply, "That was a relief. Hopefully, the rest of the arrivals will go as smoothly". Shepard could only agree with that sentiment.

One by one the remaining fleet commanders arrived. The Salarian commander arrived next. Of the major races, the Salarians were providing the fewest ships and those were mostly there due to factions within the Salarian government that were in disagreement with Dalatrass Linron. She had sworn to Shepard that if he cured the Krogan of the Genophage that Salarian support would not be forthcoming. She had mostly made good on her word. Token ground forces and two Salarian fleets were assisting the combined fleets. The Reapers had taken advantage of this by refraining from attacking the Salarian homeworld of Sur'kesh, giving the appearance that by holding back their forces the Salarians would be spared by the Reapers. The Salarians would learn the folly of that belief if the upcoming battle for Earth failed. As much as Shepard might bear anger toward the Dalatrass, he was grateful for the ships that came despite her. It was with great relief that he once again heard Vendetta state, "No indoctrination detected".

Each of the races contributing forces to the combined fleet were greeted in turn. Shepard was pleased to see Admiral Zaal'Koris arrive to represent the Quarians. As much as he had not cared for the man when he first met him, he had learned to respect him and his clear desire to protect both the Quarian people and the Geth. Zaal'Koris had learned respect for Shepard as well. Shepard heard in his ear again "No indoctrination detected" and breathed a sigh of relief not only for himself, but for Tali as well.

The remaining fleet commanders arrived for the meeting. Again and again Shepard heard the phrase in his ear, "No indoctrination detected". Hackett had prepared each of the fleet commanders for the participation of the Geth in their combined forces. They could not scan for the form of indoctrination that would be experienced by an organic, but after what had occurred on Rannoch with the Geth being upgraded to true independent AIs, he was confident the Geth could be trusted. Tali had confirmed this as well, adding to his confidence.

The Asari delegation was the last to board the Orizaba. Shepard was less familiar with Matriarch Calissa as she had risen to her command of the Destiny Ascension only in the last year. Shepard did know she had spoken against provocative action toward the Reapers and that there were some since the fall of Thessia who thought she should have been listened to from the beginning. Shepard found her positions troubling, but could only feel relief when Vendetta's voice came through his communicator stating, "No indoctrination detected". Shepard smiled a genuine smile with this last hurdle cleared and escorted the Asari to the conference room along with Admiral Hackett.

In the conference room, the various representatives mingled and adjusted seating as they waited for the last arrivals. When Shepard and the Asari arrived, a last round of introductions occurred and the various factions settled in for their final preparations. Hackett spoke, "I thank all of you for coming. I know this is atypical given the usual holographic communication and use of quantum entanglement communicators, but I believe it is crucial we see each other face-to-face, clear up any questions regarding the upcoming assault, and confirm the launch time for this operation." Hackett proceeded to lay out the intelligence they had regarding the current status of the Crucible and the fact that the operation of the Crucible required the Citadel, which had been revealed to be the Catalyst. A flurry of questions followed this news. Some questioned whether it was possible to assault the Sol system given that the Reapers knew their purpose and had maneuvered to concentrate their forces. Hackett asserted that the Reapers were likely not aware of the capabilities of the Crucible, since they were not sure themselves, so the Reapers would not be able to prevent its use if the allied fleets could break through to the Citadel and open it for the Crucible to dock. Cross talk ensued with Matriarch Calissa suggesting that given the success of the Salarians in avoiding Reaper conflicts it could be best to withdraw and reconsider their course of action.

Despite the number of times Shepard had been pressed into diplomacy, he did not consider himself a diplomat. He generally felt more at home in a firefight than a debate. He was never sure if that was a good or a bad thing, but he knew it was true. He was waiting as the various commanders grappled with the revelations they were receiving and trying to determine how best to proceed. Shepard figured he could offer his opinion when the time was right and fully intended to support the plan Hackett had outlined. As much as he hated it, the Crucible had become their only option and he would not undermine that with the fleet as a whole. Shepard was contemplating this when he heard the last thing he expected over his ear receiver. "Indoctrinated presence detected."

Shepard had kept Vendetta active in case he needed to call up the VI to explain what information it had about the Crucible and Catalyst to the assembled commanders. To suddenly receive that warning caught Shepard completely off guard. Hackett was continuing to talk, and Shepard suspected he had closed the secure channel they were using to receive information from the VI, but he had no way to covertly confirm this. The guards had been dismissed and were stationed outside the room. Shepard glanced at the door, but it remained firmly shut. No one had entered the room, which only left the fleet commanders and their various aides, all of whom had been cleared. Shepard's eyes darted to the participants engaged in an animated debate. It had only been seconds, but felt like an eternity when Vendetta finally clarified, stating, "The Asari Matriarch". Shepard's eyes darted back to Matriarch Calissa and he realized she was staring calmly back at him.

Asari Matriarchs are the wisest, most experienced members of Asari society. It is not unusual for a Matriarch to reach one thousand or more years of age. Very little slips past their notice, as Shepard once again learned. Shepard's reactions had somehow revealed to the Matriarch that she had been discovered. Both she and Shepard moved to attack. Shepard had intended to tackle the Matriarch, using his greater strength and weight to overpower her and nullify her biotics, but with her on the far side of the conference table and her natural Asari speed and grace, he realized she would be quicker. He changed direction and moved to knock Hackett to the floor as the Matriarch threw her hand forward, glowing with dark energy. Shepard was never sure if he or Hackett had been the intended target, but as he pushed Hackett to the floor, Shepard was struck by the burst of raw biotic energy and hurled back into the bulkhead with bone shattering force. He rebounded off the wall and tumbled to the floor, landing next to Hackett, who now lay beneath the edge of the table.

The assembled leaders had been caught completely off guard and had only just begun to react to the sudden combat. The Matriarch, with her centuries of experience, required no time to recover from the simple biotic attack she had unleashed. Shepard raised his head from the floor and saw the Matriarch's legs from his place beneath the edge of the table. They glowed the purplish blue of an active biotic barrier. Voices were rising in a mixed cacophony as the assembled leaders began trying to react, unsure exactly what was happening. The Matriarch answered that question. Shepard heard the low hum of a Singularity forming, having heard it many times when fighting alongside Liara. Shepard and Hackett levitated to the underside of the table, pulled by the gravity well the Matriarch had suddenly created above the table. With a glance, Shepard saw multiple pairs of legs vanish from view as they were pulled into orbit around the Singularity. The Matriarch, anchored by her barrier, stood her ground. Shepard saw a second set of legs that had not moved. The Geth platform, with the processing and reaction time available to a synthetic, had activated its shields. Shepard heard the report of a pistol being fired.

Shepard forced his concussed body into motion. He was certain that if not for the extensive strengthening of his bones and synthetic augmentations from his time with Cerberus the force of the Matriarch's attack would have killed him. As it was, every movement hurt. But Shepard was anticipating the Matriarch's next move and knew he had only seconds to stop her. Even the Matriarch would need a moment of pause after using so much power in such a short time. Shepard believed that in moments she would create a projectile of warping dark energy and hurl it into the leaders held by her Singularity. The resulting conflicting gravitational and mass fields would cause a detonation that, in the confined space of the conference room, could very well kill most of the unshielded occupants. Shepard had been able to draw his Carnifex pistol. It was a heavily modded model loaded with incendiary rounds for combat against organics. Shepard hoped that between the mods, the strain on the Matriarch's barrier from her proximity to the Singularity, and if she were the target of the pistol fire he was hearing then he could pierce her barrier before she created her Warp. Suspended from the underside of the table by the gravitational forces above him, Shepard aimed at the Matriarch's visible left knee and pulled the trigger as quickly as he could, relying on the close range and his augmented strength to keep the pistol on target.

Shepard feared her barrier would not break in time when suddenly the energy surrounding her leg flared and vanished. Shepard did not pause in his firing and multiple shots, augmented by a highly flammable gel penetrated the Matriarch's knee and thigh. Shepard saw sprays of purple blood and the burst of flame indicating the incendiary had ignited her leg. Shepard heard her scream above the din in the room and saw as her legs were pulled out of view by her own Singularity. The flaming Matriarch whirled in the orbit of the Singularity for a handful of seconds before it collapsed and vanished. She fell in the center of the table as the other leaders tumbled throughout the room. Shepard struggled out from under the table and fought his way to his feet, checking immediately to make sure the Matriarch posed no further threat. The other leaders were rising from the floor, appearing to have suffered no worse than scrapes and bruises.

The Matriarch lay on conference table. She was clearly badly injured. Shepard could see she had been shot in her torso as well as her leg. The Geth emissary kept a pistol aimed at her aide. The Matriarch's eyes were unfocused as she stared at something in the distance only she could see. Tears streamed down her face. As she lay, burned and bleeding, she gasped out to no one in particular, "I've failed them. I will never see the glory of the Reapers and the gifts they will bring to the Asari who accept their truth. I will…never…see…" The last of the flames ignited by the incendiary ammunition died away and she was gone. Two guards burst into the room, weapons drawn, far too late to affect the situation.

Stunned leaders stood around the table trying to grasp what had occurred. Hackett had risen slowly and looked to Shepard to explain. Shepard took two deep breaths, still recovering himself from the blow he had taken, and seized the moment. "This", he paused and gestured to the dead Matriarch, "will be the fate of us all if we do not commit with all our strength to the only course we have. Yes, the Reapers have discovered our intention to use the Crucible, but even they do not know what it will do. We know this because no one knows exactly how the Crucible will release and direct its energy. The Reapers only know we must come to the Citadel and we must do so immediately. They think to lure us into a trap that we cannot avoid. They are right. Some traps you can't avoid. You can only steel yourself and walk into them, determined to smash the trap to bits as it tries to close on you. To withdraw and spread our forces out will only lead the Reapers to lock the relay network, leaving us to wait helplessly until they come to put us down like wounded prey. Look at her", Shepard again gestured to the Matriarch. "If we do not find the strength needed for the battle ahead and to stand with each other for all our species then we are all just slaves or dead meat on a slab". Shepard coughed and spit a gobbet of blood onto the conference table. "There will be a great deal more sacrifice before any victory. I suggest you all commit to Admiral Hackett's plan to ensure we are all working together to achieve that victory."

"Shepard," Admiral Hackett spoke. "Get yourself to the infirmary and get checked out. Are there any indications that the Matriarch's aide has been indoctrinated?" Most thought that an odd question to ask Shepard, but Shepard understood, as did Vendetta.

"No indoctrination detected," came the voice of the Prothean VI over Shepard's ear communicator. Those words did not hold the comfort they once did given recent events.

"The Lieutenant does not show signs of indoctrination, but I can't say I saw any indication the Matriarch was indoctrinated before she acted."

"I am Lieutenant Brielle. I honestly had no idea Matriarch Calissa was indoctrinated. She has always been a good commander and teacher, despite the loss at Thessia," the Asari aide interjected, staring at the pistol the Geth still held on her. "I swear to you I am not indoctrinated. I will answer any questions you have or take any test. My superiors need to be informed that Matriarch Calissa is dead and was indoctrinated so precautions can be taken to ensure she or possibly other pupils of hers do not pose an ongoing threat to our fleet."

Admiral Hackett stroked his chin in frustration. "We will have to hold you until you can be returned to your ship and the events here explained to the Asari. Anyone put into her position by the Matriarch has to be checked for any signs of indoctrination and we have to identify, if possible, how the Matriarch became indoctrinated. This could create chaos within the Asari fleet if it's not handled properly. The Lieutenant will remain here, along with the guards, to answer questions. Is there anyone else in need of medical attention?" Hackett glanced at the leaders none of whom seemed willing to leave the meeting for their minor injuries. Hackett continued. "The body of the Matriarch will be returned to her people and we will relay what has transpired here after we have confirmed the plans for our assault on Earth and the Citadel. Shepard, I'll speak with you after this meeting is completed."

Shepard saluted and left the room to make his way to the medical bay. The body of the Asari Matriarch still lay in the middle of the conference table, a stark reminder to the assembled leaders of the enemy they faced and their need to fully commit to the upcoming battle. The Asari Lieutenant had looked truly shocked by events, but that did not guarantee her innocence. One thing was certain, no one in that room would be caught off guard in that way again. Shepard pushed the events from his thoughts and focused on not falling on his face as he stumbled to the medical bay.

An hour later Shepard was standing, much recovered, with Admiral Hackett and seeing off the fleet commanders. It was a grim, determined group that went their separate ways, but they were committed to the path laid out by Admiral Hackett. The battle for Earth and the Citadel would commence in less than six hours, leaving very little time for the Asari to ensure the Matriarch had not placed other indoctrinated personnel into positions of authority. There was no help for that. The Reapers had reportedly consolidated their forces around Earth and though they seemed to want this battle, they could choose to close the relays at any time. The attack had to proceed.

The Geth emissary was moving to board his shuttle to return to the Geth fleet. Shepard gestured for it to speak with him for a moment. The Geth approached Shepard and spoke. "Shepard-Commander, it is good to speak with you. The Geth owe you a great debt for your actions on Rannoch. How may I be of assistance to you."

Shepard was still getting used to Geth using the pronoun 'I'. "I wanted to ask how you knew to fire on the Asari Matriarch in the conference room. If you hadn't I might not have been able to penetrate her barrier before she detonated her Singularity."

"You are Shepard-Commander. You fight the Old Machines, but you rewrote the Heretic Geth to allow them to rejoin what was our consensus. Legion has extensive data on your determination to help both our species. I calculated a ninety-six percent probability based on these data and the available dossiers of you and the Matriarch that she was acting as an enemy. This was sufficient to warrant intervention even prior to her use of a biotic Singularity on our assembled allies."

"You carry Legion's data?" Shepard asked. "Is Legion part of your code or are you Legion?" Shepard had difficulty wrapping his mind around the actions Legion had taken on Rannoch to give the Geth independence. The idea that it might still exist inside this Geth was difficult to comprehend.

"We are all Legion. We are all not Legion. Legion transmitted to each Geth the base code that had allowed Legion to become a true, independent AI. Now we are each individually building on that code, becoming who and what we choose. The process is as yet incomplete."

"So if all Geth carry the same code, does that mean all Geth are the same? I thought Legion sacrificed itself so that you could each be independent." Not being an AI expert, Shepard struggled with how the Geth were evolving.

"Each Geth shares the identical base code that was downloaded to us by Legion at its termination. Each Geth is free to build upon that code, becoming more individual as each chooses. An explanatory analogy: This base code can be thought of as similar to the foundation of a house. The foundation may in each case be a square, but each builder can create a unique structure on that uniform foundation."

That made sense to Shepard. "I don't mean to be insulting, but I'm not sure whether to use a gender when referring to you or not. What is your name? Are you the commander of the Geth fleet?"

"I am the representative of the Geth in these negotiations. Though we are now capable of true independent thought, we have governed by consensus since the Morning War. We have not reached consensus on whether or not to adopt a new form of governance. We continue to rule by consensus, but this consensus is now among individual Geth programs rather than collections of programs within each Geth. Geth that have been appointed to command status make decisions based on consensus, but have the power to make immediate decisions in the event of an emergency. I have been appointed to serve as the commander of the Geth fleet and as the designated emissary to the allied organic fleets. I have chosen the designation Picard for use in these communications. No Geth at this time has assigned itself gender in the human sense, though many humans seem to consistently refer to Geth as male. We are not insulted by this."

Shepard was struck by the fact that the Geth were currently using a command structure that was very similar to that used by the Quarians in the Migrant Fleet. They too were now grappling with how their government would have to evolve due to their changing circumstances. "That is a great deal to absorb. I wish you and your people well and thank you for agreeing to aid us in bringing the Crucible to the Citadel. I look forward to the cooperation I hope we can achieve when the Reapers are no longer a threat, Picard." Shepard reached out to shake the Geth's hand. The Geth shook his hand without hesitation. It then turned and departed, leaving Shepard and Hackett standing together on the flight deck.

Hackett stood silently for a few moments, then turned to Shepard. "Are you feeling well, Commander?"

"As well as can be expected. I just needed a dose of medi-gel to get me on my feet." Shepard stood in thought. "I'm concerned that Vendetta failed to detect the indoctrination in the Matriarch. Do we have any indication how she achieved that?"

Hackett responded, "Thank you for keeping the Prothean VI secret. I didn't want to have to explain how we were checking the commanders for indoctrination after the way we ended up putting them all in danger. If you hadn't managed to take down Matriarch Calissa she could have decimated the fleet's command structure. Lieutenant Brielle claims she had no idea the Matriarch was indoctrinated and I'm inclined to believe her. I brought the remaining Asari commanders into the conversation by ship-to-ship communication as well. The shock at what had happened was a useful tool for focusing their attention, but they were tight-lipped about any possible way the Matriarch might have hidden her indoctrination. I got the sense they weren't sure either, but didn't want to admit it. We'll follow up if we can, but frankly we don't have the time or resources to devote to the question. I did what I could to make sure the Asari were seeing to the security of their fleet. I don't think they want to talk about the steps they're having to take to ensure security on such short notice. Now I have to make sure the fleet is ready to fulfill its role. We won't be getting any second chances with this." Hackett became somehow even grimmer. "Thank you for your commitment to this plan. Your help in solidifying the support of the other races, not to mention saving our lives, was invaluable, especially given the concerns I know you have regarding the Crucible."

"I meant what I said to the other leaders, Admiral. Sometimes you have no choice but to walk into a trap and make sure your enemy regrets springing it."


	5. Chapter 5 - Translations

Chapter 5 – Translations

Garrus, Tali, Liara, Traynor, Ashley, and James were silent as Shepard finished his description of recent events aboard the Orizaba. Tali was clearly anxious for him, but Shepard standing before her, alive and well, alleviated her immediate concerns. Liara had steepled her fingers and looked thoughtfully into the distance. "Liara, I think it's important we know how Matriarch Calissa became indoctrinated if possible. I want you to use any contacts you have and…other resources, to learn what you can and whether the Asari seem to be securing their fleet against further risks." Shepard did not like to use the words 'Shadow Broker' with Liara as not everyone in the room was aware of her status.

"Of course, Shepard. I will find out what I can and let you know as soon as I have any information".

"Good, thank you, Liara". Shepard looked to Tali and indirectly to EDI as well. Is there any new information regarding our efforts to come up with contingency plans to deal with the Reapers if necessary?"

Tali answered, "We have coordinated with a Geth representative to aid us with deciphering and potentially applying the various Reaper code sources we have obtained. Combining what we have with the available data from," Tali paused and took a breath, "from the Cerberus experiments on Sanctuary has given us some promising leads to potentially influence the Reapers".

"What? Are you saying The Illusive Man would be able to control Reapers?" Shepard was dumbfounded by the possibility and would hate to have to admit if The Illusive Man were right about his assertions.

"No, no, no. I've given the wrong impression. The research on Sanctuary had promising elements for taking control of the least complex of the Reaper forces, Husks and Cannibals, and the like. There were even indications that they were moving in the direction of being able to influence a Reaper, at least in small ways for a very brief period of time, but the Reapers arrived and put an end to that. We actually learned something interesting about how the Reapers became aware of the work on Sanctuary. According to data EDI mined from the Cronos Station computers it appears it was The Illusive Man who informed the Reapers about Sanctuary. He did this shortly after being informed of their progress in influencing Reaper capital ships."

"Even more evidence, as if it were needed, that The Illusive Man was indoctrinated. Keep up the good work, we need every idea, every edge we can come up with."

"Shepard", EDI interjected, "I wish to commend Tali'Zorah on an idea she had that may provide another avenue of assistance. She called up the data provided by the Salarian, Chorban and his Volus partner, Jahleed, from their extensive covert scanning of the Keepers. This was added to our analysis and coordinated with the data obtained from Vigil on Ilos and the program Vigil provided to take control of the Citadel. The Protheans were correct that the Keepers began responding only to signals from the Citadel rather than from the Reapers. Together Tali and Lieutenant Traynor were able to identify how to use the program to send control signals to the Keepers from the Citadel itself, meaning that if it becomes necessary, we should be able to effectively control the Keepers."

Shepard broke into a broad smile. "That could be useful once we make it aboard the Citadel. The Crucible may require connections or management that we simply can't provide, but the Keepers can." Shepard wondered if that was what Vendetta was referring to when the VI spoke of interfacing with the Crucible and Catalyst. Perhaps it meant controlling the Keepers to trigger and manage the enormously powerful device in conjunction with the Citadel. "Brilliant work, all of you. You're giving us options for whatever arises and I could not be more proud of you all." Shepard looked to Tali and Traynor as he said this, but then swept his gaze across the assembled crewmembers to make sure they understood his recognition of all their ongoing efforts in the war. "We have a great deal more to do, but we'll be making the translation to Earth in approximately five hours. Anyone who hasn't slept in the past twelve hours is ordered to get a few hours of rest, myself included."

"I do not require any rest at this time", Liara stated. "I was able to mediate earlier today for a bit. I want to follow up immediately on the information regarding Matriarch Calissa. I will report to you in a little over three hours to let you know what I learn."

"Thank you, Liara. Everyone is dismissed." The crew scattered to either their tasks or to get some rest. Tali stood next to Shepard as the last crew members filed from the conference room.

"So, I take it that I should also get some rest", she said playfully.

"Not right away", Shepard replied, taking her hand as they left the room together.

* * *

Shepard walked across an open field of waist high grass rustling in the warm wind. He looked ahead across the flat expanse toward a solid, beach side dwelling. Rocky cliffs rose in the distance and a dull orange sun shone down on his face as he inhaled deeply, smelling the grass and sea. "I'm home", Shepard thought to himself and broke into a run toward the dwelling. A woman emerged from the dwelling, dark hair blowing free in the wind. She raised a three-fingered hand to beckon to him. Shepard's speed increased as he felt his joy rising. But, Shepard realized he was getting no closer. He strained harder to move his legs, to bridge the gap to his home and his love. He was running as if in mud, moving slower the harder he pushed. The orange sun dimmed as an enormous shape eclipsed it. Shepard watched the massive ship position itself over his home. Tali screamed and screamed for him, but despite straining to his utmost, he had stopped dead. She was reaching for him from across that distance and he was screaming as well. Screaming her name. Screaming for her to run. But she stood, reaching hopelessly toward him. She stood as the main cannon of the Reaper above her glowed brilliant red. Shepard watched helplessly as energy lanced from the ship to the dwelling and the woman he loved. Both vanished in an explosion of superheated gas and exploding matter. Shepard continued to scream as the wave of destruction swept toward and over him, blasting him to ash.

Shepard gasped and shot upright in his bed, drenched in sweat, Tali's name bursting from his lips. In those moments after awakening from his vivid nightmare, he was unsure what was real. Gasping, he looked around desperately for Tali.

Tali took Shepard into an embrace whispering, "I'm here, John, I'm here. You're okay, you're safe." She rarely used his given name, even in private, except in the most intimate of moments. Shepard turned and embraced her desperately in return, trying to shake off the dissociation he was feeling. He just held her until his breathing calmed, until he was confident he was awake and she really wasn't about to disappear in a burst of hot ash and screams.

Shepard fumbled for words. "I'm…I'm sorry, Tali. I didn't mean to worry you. It's just…bad dreams." His words sounded feeble even to his own ears. Shepard pulled himself up out of the bed and stumbled naked toward the bathroom.

Tali sat in the bed, covers pulled up to her chin. "You know I am here for you, John. I'm really not going anywhere, unless I'm going there with you. If you want to tell me about the dream, I'm here for that too."

"I know, Tali, and I appreciate it. But there is an old superstition that if you say something bad out loud, you make it more likely to happen. I would give anything to not have this nightmare become reality. You being here for me means everything, but I don't want to talk about this nightmare." He paused and smiled as best he could for her, not wanting his words to sound like a rejection. She nodded her understanding and Shepard closed the bathroom door.

Shepard leaned over the sink and stared into the mirror, barely recognizing the man who stood looking back. He had been having nightmares since the attack on Earth, but before tonight they had mostly been of a nameless boy he had spoken to briefly back on Earth, then seen killed by the Reapers. Kelly Chambers, his former yeoman and a skilled psychologist, would likely have had something profound or at least clever to say about his nightmares. Liara had suggested the boy represented everyone Shepard feared he would fail and his fear that all those people would meet that boy's fate. Shepard didn't know. With no real knowledge of or connection to the boy his nightmares had always been sad, but not particularly frightening. As often as not he found himself waking up confused as to why the boy in his nightmare simply stood there calmly while on fire.

The nightmare he had just had was of a different nature altogether. It was simple, even banal. But it had hit him like a Krogan punching him in the gut. And it was confusing. He had never had much of a home before. He had been born on the colony of Mindoir, but moved to Earth when he joined the Alliance. He had received his training and moved to different posts aboard various ships, living in space much of his life since. His parents were long dead. He had a hard time picturing any place as home, whether Earth, colony, or ship. So why was he picturing Rannoch in his nightmare, a place he had only been to a few times and mostly only seen down the barrel of an assault rifle, and feeling for the first time like he was really home?

Shepard shook his head and splashed water on his face to clear his thinking. He stepped back into his cabin from the bathroom. Tali was standing next to the bed, donning her environment suit. She was pulling the tight material up over her buttocks and broad hips leaving her naked from the waist up. They had calculated that with her having adapted to his microbiota, the liberal use of decontamination and filtration, use of her antibiotics and antihistamines, and excluding every other crew member from access to the cabin she could go for up to three hours without her suit in relative safety. They had sought to take full advantage of this with the time they had.

Tali turned and smiled at Shepard, giving him a good look at her in profile. He gazed at her appreciatively, then approached her, holding her beautiful, softly glowing eyes with his own. They took each other into one more embrace, pressing their bodies together, feeling the contact of each other's skin one final time before the upcoming battle. They kissed deeply and it occurred to Shepard that 'home' is not always a place.

"As much as I hate to stop, it's time for me to put my suit back on", Tali said with clear regret in her voice. "We're already a bit past the safe time frame we calculated". She worked to pull her suit up her torso, tantalizing Shepard with her diminishing nudity as if she were performing a reverse strip-tease.

"I have to say, I never thought my sex life would involve so much math", Shepard said playfully. "But", he paused to tease her in return, "Totally worth it".

"Bosh'tet", she laughed. "As much as I would like to continue this, I'm afraid duty calls for both of us." As if to emphasize the point his private terminal chimed to alert him to an incoming call. Shepard looked back from the noise in time to see Tali locking her helmet into position. Shepard sighed, knowing they would not have time to be together like this again unless they successfully defeated the Reapers.

"Keep an eye on any symptoms. I know we took all the precautions we could, but I don't want you to get sick". Or worse, Shepard could not help thinking. It would have been safest for her to have not left her suit, but neither of them was willing to pass up this opportunity to truly be together.

"I'll take care of myself as long as you promise to do the same". She lingered several seconds before taking him in one more hug and turned to depart the cabin.

"As much as I possibly can, Miss vas Normandy." With that, the door slid shut, leaving Shepard alone in the cabin. Shepard stared after her until the terminal chimed again, demanding his attention. He shifted his thoughts from Tali to attending to the call. He punched the 'accept' key and Liara's face appeared.

"Shepard," Liara paused appearing bothered by something, "I hope you were able to get some rest. I was able to learn some information from my contacts aboard the Asari fleet. We need to discuss what I learned, privately."

"Of course, Liara." Shepard suddenly realized he had been so distracted by Tali that he had not bothered to put on any clothes. Fortunately, Liara would only be seeing his top half, but that was bad enough and might well be the source of her sudden discomfort. "My apologies, Liara. Give me five minutes and meet me in the conference room." Liara nodded and cut the connection from her end. Shepard hoped he had not offended her. He and Liara had engaged in an intimate relationship of their own during their pursuit of the rogue Spectre, Saren Arterius. Following his death at the hand of the Collectors, two years passed while he was restored by Cerberus. During that time Liara had moved on to other endeavors while for him no time had passed. Their reunion did not go particularly well, with Liara seeming distant, even uncaring to Shepard. She simply had other priorities and was no longer there for him. Shepard had been hurt and angry. Time passed and he reconnected with Tali, falling in love with her. Any possibility of his relationship with Liara rekindling was gone. Shepard did not regret this, not with what he felt for Tali, but that did not mean he wanted it to be uncomfortable for Liara. He cared about her even if he was no longer romantically involved with her.

Shepard hurriedly got dressed and took the elevator down one deck to the CIC. Behind the CIC he passed through a security checkpoint and reached the conference room. Liara was already there, waiting patiently for him. Given his previous train of thought, Shepard found that somewhat ironic.

Shepard went straight to business, hoping to avoid any further awkwardness. "Thank you for following up on the situation with Matriarch Calissa, Liara. Admiral Hackett indicated the Asari commanders were reluctant to reveal what information, if any, they had about the Matriarch's indoctrination. What were you able to find out?"

"I was able to pull in favors, and make a few threats, to get information from the investigators. I was also able to get access to the analysis of Matriarch Calissa's personal logs and computer files. Some of the information is speculative based on these files, but it appears the conclusions drawn are sound." Liara paused and looked nervously around. "Shepard, the information I was able to uncover is extremely sensitive. It is important that you share it only with those you believe need to know the information and that it be maintained under the highest degree of secrecy. I trust you, Shepard, and I want to reveal this only to you." Liara looked pointedly around the room and Shepard took her meaning.

"EDI, it is important that Liara and I have complete privacy for the next several minutes. Please discontinue monitoring of this room and conversation until I inform you otherwise."

"As you wish Commander. I am aware of the concern Liara has regarding my ability to keep secrets related to Asari social norms and behaviors. This room will not be monitored until you signal me to resume monitoring."

Liara waited several seconds, appearing suspicious that EDI had truly ceased listening to them, but then appeared to accept EDI's word and pushed ahead with her revelations. "I was able to learn three important pieces of information from the Asari investigators and my own review of the Matriarch's records. It is obvious that the Matriarch was indeed indoctrinated. Her private logs make it clear that she became indoctrinated a little less than a year ago. In her logs the Matriarch indicated she experienced an 'epiphany' regarding the Reapers and believed they came not to destroy the civilizations of the galaxy, but to gather the most deserving to join them in a paradise the Reapers had constructed beyond the edge of the galaxy in dark space, beyond the reach of the undeserving. The Matriarch was always a believer in Asari exceptionalism, even before her indoctrination. Following her epiphany she began working to make sure the Asari would be seen by the Reapers as the most deserving. She recognized that others in the Asari government would not be so 'enlightened'. She was already in a position of authority in the military, which only increased several months ago. This authority put her in position to influence Asari response to the Reaper invasion of Earth. She argued strongly for holding back our resources to protect Asari interests and to avoid provoking the Reapers. When the Reapers attacked Thessia, she was responsible for much of the distribution of forces that left us so vulnerable, though she concealed this well, dividing the blame among others as well as stepping forward to take a portion of the blame to allay suspicion. In the chaos of the fall of Thessia, no one thought to investigate her role more thoroughly. There was just too much to recover from and too many dead who might have placed the blame on her." Liara paused, breathing deeply as she tried to control her emotions.

"Liara, I know this is difficult and if you need a little time, just say so." Shepard reached over to touch her shoulder and comfort her, though he knew there was little he could say.

Liara paused to calm herself before continuing. As to how she hid her indoctrination, the conclusions we can deduce are actually a bit of a relief. Do you recall, Shepard, when we confronted my mother on Noveria?"

Shepard remembered fighting Matriarch Benezia shortly before meeting and ultimately releasing the Rachni Queen imprisoned there. "Your mother had been indoctrinated and fought against us, but at a critical moment she was able to call up a portion of her unindoctrinated consciousness that she had somehow kept hidden away within her own mind. For a brief time she was able to help us before…", Shepard paused remembering how the Matriarch had attacked them and they were forced to kill her. Shepard understood the conclusion Liara was leading him to. "Are you saying Matriarch Calissa did something similar?"

"Yes. She seems so have been able to compartmentalize her mind and keep the indoctrination hidden, though it appears she was not consciously aware of doing this. The indoctrination would emerge when she was making decisions that would affect the battle against the Reapers, as occurred during the conference aboard the Orizaba. That was why Vendetta did not initially detect her indoctrination. The good news is that it would take an exceptionally developed mind to undergo such segmentation while remaining functional. It is unlikely anyone other than a skilled Matriarch could accomplish the feat."

"I don't know if I really find that fact comforting. Are the Asari confident they can now determine if any other leaders are using that trick?"

"I will say that armed with this new information the Asari efforts to identify any possible additional threats have been…zealous. I would prefer not getting into the details of that topic." Liara gave an involuntary shudder.

"You said there were three pieces of information", Shepard prompted.

Liara's face grew very anxious and she commented, "EDI, are you there?" Receiving no answer she leaned heavily on the table, struggling with her next words. "I've been avoiding this last piece of information…how the Matriarch became indoctrinated. I argued with myself as to whether I should reveal it, even to you, Shepard. By the Goddess, what I learned frightens me in a way nothing else has."

Shepard could see the gravity of what Liara was struggling with. He was concerned for her, but was reluctant to say anything that would cause her to hide something that was clearly of great importance. "I'm ready to listen to whatever you have to tell me Liara and will do my best to understand what has so clearly terrified you. I swear I'll help how I can. Why did you decide to share this information with me?"

"Because I believe everything you just said to me. I know that of everyone I've met you've always put others' needs before your own. Also, after what we learned on Thessia, how my people kept the Prothean archive that contained Vendetta secret, how if that archive had been shared sooner we might have prevented all the death and destruction the Reapers have inflicted, well, no more secrets. I will trust you with this, because I trust you. I know you will do what is right."

Liara breathed deeply again, struggling, even with her decision already made. Shepard tried to ease her into the information with his own speculations. "I have been guessing that she was somehow exposed to a Reaper artifact, accidentally or intentionally. She was clearly a valuable tool for the Reapers."

"No", Liara said. "No, I wish it were something so simple. That would be tragic, but wouldn't carry the danger of the truth. Do you remember Rana Thanoptis?"

Shepard was taken aback by what seemed a sudden change in topic. He thought back. Rana Thanoptis was an Asari scientist they first encountered studying indoctrination for Saren on Virmire. Shepard had spared her life, though she had to outrun a nuclear explosion to make good on her survival. Shepard had encountered her again working for the Krogan scientist, Okeer. He had spared her a second time as she had promised she was not involved in any harmful work and would continue to make positive use of the second chance he had given her. She had clearly failed in that regard as he recalled that some months ago there had been a news report that she had detonated a bomb that killed several top Asari military leaders and then committed suicide, an apparent victim of indoctrination.

"I recall her, but I don't see how she is connected", Shepard replied.

"Rana Thanoptis had travelled widely, worked in Saren's laboratories, and worked with Okeer. She had extensive and diverse scientific knowledge, making her a potentially valuable asset to the Asari military. After some initial overtures, Rana secretly made contact with Matriarch Calissa and offered to meet with her privately to provide information to her that could benefit the Asari. You'll recall I said the Matriarch was a believer in Asari exceptionalism, so this offer was too good to pass up. The Matriarch was careful. She had Rana searched and scanned to be sure she was not carrying any dangerous items that could be a threat to her. Rana never brought any Reaper technology into the Matriarch's presence. That was not the source of the indoctrination."

Liara took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "Rana met on multiple occasions with the Matriarch. The two began an intimate relationship as they met and discussed the future of the Asari. As you know", Liara paused to clear her throat, "during sex Asari will meld, essentially linking their nervous systems to share the experience at the deepest levels. The Asari investigators have concluded that during this melding of nervous systems, Rana became a vector for indoctrination of the Matriarch, resulting in that indoctrination taking hold within the Matriarch. Once that occurred, Rana was given access to the Asari military commanders and used that opportunity to assassinate a large group of leaders, resulting in the placement of Matriarch Calissa in a position of greater influence over the course of the war. Rana then killed herself to prevent exposure of the Matriarch." Liara wound down, sagging as if revealing this information had sapped every bit of her energy.

"Shit", Shepard said quietly. It was really all he could think to say. Liara was right about the danger of what she had just revealed. If they failed to defeat the Reapers, none of this would matter. But if they succeeded and this information was widely revealed, then, fair or not, every Asari would be considered a possible source of contamination. Indoctrination would be perceived as a sexually transmitted disease with Asari as the carriers. Given the pervasive predjudices and misconceptions regarding Asari sexual practices every Asari dancer, every Maiden exploring the galaxy, would be met with suspicion and, quite possibly, violence. Even in victory, every sentient being would be burdened with pain and loss. The galaxy-wide anger from that would seize on a target if possible. The Asari custom of mating with other species to enhance diversity would be destroyed as no one would risk mating with the Asari. The Asari might even doubt the safety of mating within their species given this risk. Asari influence in the galaxy, perhaps the entire Asari way of life, would be destroyed by this one piece of information.

"I understand the importance of what you've told me, Liara, and I thank you. I'll have to consider how to protect this information and who would need to know this without putting your people at risk. Do your people have any information on whether indoctrination can be passed to non-Asari in this way?"

"No one is sure, Shepard. But we can't rule it out. We don't even know if this was an intentional strategy by the Reapers or an unhappy coincidence of Asari biology. That's part of what makes this so dangerous, but also important. This information can't just be hidden away and wished out of existence. If we get through this, there could still be active agents of the Reapers among the Asari. They would have to be rooted out and denied this weapon." Liara sounded hopeless as she said this, defeated in a way Shepard had never seen.

"We'll make sure the right people have this information and you have my word it won't be abused. 'Thank you' is insufficient, Liara. I know sharing this has cost you personally and I want you to know I will be there when you need me. Maybe you should get some rest. We're going to begin the relay translations to reach Earth soon."

"You know, I think I will take some rest. It feels like I never get an opportunity for something so simple anymore. Let me know when you need me. I'll be in my cabin."

Liara straightened to leave. Shepard took her into a hug to reinforce that he was there for her. She slipped into his embrace, the feel of her taking Shepard back to the time when they were together. Shepard held her like that for a few brief seconds before disengaging and looking into her eyes. "I care about you, Liara, despite how things have worked out. We will never be able to answer the question of what we might have become together, but I will still always be there for you. Never forget that."

Liara returned his gaze with a wistful half-smile. "I know, Shepard. I'll be there for you as well, but right now I really do need some rest." She broke eye contact and hurried from the room. Shepard could not help thinking about the 'What if' questions that could never be answered and what might have been in an alternate universe. But he was in this universe and he was going to do all he could to keep it from ending, for all the people he cared about.

Shepard activated his communicator. "Joker, the fleet will be moving into position to translate to the Exodus cluster soon. Make sure the Normandy is ready."

"Aye, aye, sir", came the reply. Shepard turned to leave the conference room and only remembered at the last moment to alert EDI to resume her monitoring.

An hour later Shepard stood in his familiar position beside Joker as the fleets prepared to depart for Earth. As they decelerated from FTL travel they began arranging themselves for the mass translation to the Exodus Cluster. Such travel would have been unheard of only a few years previous. Ships travelling by mass relay would often drift large distances upon arrival. This would make simultaneous travel by multiple ships dangerous. Trying to translate the allied fleets would have effectively been suicidal. That changed with the destruction of Sovereign at the Battle of the Citadel. One of the technological advances gleaned from Sovereign's wreckage, along with the Thanix weaponry now ubiquitous throughout the fleet, was relay protocols that allowed the fleets' computers to link up and safely make translation as a continuous wave. The lead ships would travel with much greater precision through the relay and accelerate forward to make way for the following ships. This was a vast improvement, though not as impressive as what was theorized by the science team regarding Reaper capabilities. It was thought the Reapers could translate an entire fleet simultaneously so long as each ship was within the relay's effective range.

The Normandy took position with the Alliance fleet, though she was technically functioning independently. Shepard listened as Joker ran through a list of each fleet as it reported ready. The command to enter the relay was triggered based on the status of the other fleets, so Shepard stood and watched the masses of ships until the alert for imminent transition sounded. The Normandy was engulfed by the directed energy from the relay's element zero core. The mass of the Normandy and all on board approached zero and the ship was propelled nearly instantly to the Utopia system.

Scout reports had indicated the Utopia system held no Reaper presence. The reports were accurate. No enemy was waiting as they moved away from the relay and the remainder of the fleet appeared. Shepard recalled his first trip to this system aboard the original Normandy SR1. That mission was the first time Shepard came into conflict with the Geth and the Reaper vanguard, Sovereign. It was Shepard's own catalyst for all the conflict that came after. Now the Utopia System waited. With Cerberus forced off Eden Prime and the Reapers bypassing the system to focus on Earth the colonists had been given a reprieve. That would end quickly if they failed.

The fleets deployed to reenter the relay after all arrivals had been confirmed. Within minutes they were transiting, but with a new destination. The journey to Earth required passage through the Arcturus System. The fleets arrived to another abandoned system, though there was now little of value for the Reapers to attack. The system had housed Arcturus Station, the home of the Systems Alliance Parliament. The station had been destroyed early in the Reaper invasion, obliterating the parliament and the military headquarters of the Alliance.

Joker gritted his teeth as they prepared for the final jump to Earth. "I lived on Arcturus Station for quite a while Shepard. I still had a lot of friends there. Knowing how the Reapers just killed everyone there…it makes it that much more personal." Joker looked more thoughtful than was typical. He looked up at Shepard seriously. "We are going to win this, right Shepard? We are going to beat them?"

Shepard could see that as they prepared for the jump to Earth, Joker needed that last bit of reassurance. Maybe he did too. "We're not just going to beat them Joker. We're going to wipe them from the galaxy so that no civilization, present or future, has to live under their threat again."

Joker relaxed into his comfortable leather flight seat and smiled. "I needed to hear that, Commander. But if you're going to do all that you better get ready because we're entering the relay in 3…2…1..." Shepard's smile was predatory as the fleets made the translation to the Sol System.


	6. Chapter 6 - No Turning Back

Chapter 6 – No Turning Back

The allied fleets swarmed from the Charon Relay into the Sol system. Active scans were directed in a sphere around the arriving fleets and revealed…nothing. The available scouting information had indicated that the Reapers had pulled completely in-system to Earth, where they had transported the Citadel to geosynchronous orbit over London. Nonetheless, Shepard had expected some sort of resistance. Certainly it would have made more sense to him to maintain forces prepared to ambush the attacking fleets before they could fully deploy upon arrival. But there was not even a Reaper scouting force present to witness the most impressive coordinated mass ship maneuver in history.

Standing on the Normandy, Shepard felt the trepidation he had been suppressing gnawing again at the back of his mind. If the Reapers wanted to confront the combined fleets it would make more sense to do it here, not over the planet they were attempting to harvest. Not in the immediate vicinity of the space station they were ostensibly trying to protect.

He could hear the counter-arguments Hackett would have made. The Reapers want to ensure we are fully committed and far from the relay to prevent any withdrawal. Fighting near Earth will handicap the allied forces, as they have to be cautious not to turn the Earth into a smoldering wasteland while firing at the Reapers. None of it felt convincing to Shepard. Not that any of his concerns could change their path now. They were well and truly committed. All he could do was to be prepared to respond if his worst concerns came to pass.

The fleets shifted into mutually defensive formations for the journey to Earth. With the FTL capability of modern warships, the fleet would be able to arrive at Earth in a matter of minutes. Nonetheless, the fleets decelerated as they passed Jupiter to verify that the Reapers had not shifted position or perhaps hidden forces that could ambush the Crucible as it followed the fleet. Unlike ships, active radar and ladar scans could not exceed the speed of light making them useless at FTL. Admiral Hackett, as the de facto commander of the combined fleets for the assault on Earth, took advantage of this last opportunity to address the fleets.

The Admiral's voice and image was broadcast to all ships. Shepard stood and listened to him exhort every soldier and crewman on the fleet to remember for what they were fighting and what manner of monsters they were fighting against. Shepard was confident that no one doubted that while the battle would occur over Earth, every planet would fall to the Reapers if they failed today. Hackett reminded the ship captains that they were not here to win a space battle, but to distract the Reapers so that additional ground forces could be delivered to support the assault on the Citadel, and then to protect the Crucible as it moved into position. Hackett ended his brief broadcast stating, "As we fight this battle to forever end the Reaper threat, victory is more important than the fate of a single world, any world. Nonetheless, this is my home world we move to liberate. I would appreciate if all ships would watch their aim."

Shepard chuckled to himself. Normally, Citadel conventions would forbid weapon strikes on a garden world, even accidental ones resulting from combat. The Reapers had shown no inclination to respect the Citadel conventions. Defeating the Reapers was paramount. Hackett had just reminded the combined fleets that they were here to save all worlds if they could, starting with Earth. Shepard appreciated the sentiment. The fleets moved past the orbit of Jupiter with no indication of a Reaper presence and accelerated to FTL for the final jump to Earth.

The fleets decelerated from FTL beyond the orbit of Earth's moon. The deceleration of the vast armada was accompanied by enormous bursts of radio and visible light energy. Within moments the Reapers knew the location of the arriving fleets. Admiral Hackett had hoped that by decelerating away from Earth he could pull the Reapers at least some distance away from the planet. While this would not absolutely prevent misses striking the planet, it would give the attacking fleets more leeway in targeting. The Reapers moved toward the fleets, suggesting they were interested in preserving the planet or at least the life remaining on it. Their purpose for preserving that life, at least temporarily, was far more disturbing.

The fleets closed on the Reapers as well. Admiral Hackett did not want the forces to stray too far from the Citadel, as it was the ultimate target of the entire operation. When the Citadel arms opened the fleet needed to be able to quickly shift to protect the arriving Crucible and maneuver it into position. The fleets also had to be in position to protect the ground forces that were about to launch toward Earth. This could only be accomplished by engaging the Reapers relatively near Earth, so Hackett was attempting to strike the right balance of protecting the Earth and landing the forces needed to open the Citadel.

"I'm heading to the shuttle, Joker. Once we're clear and headed to Earth, keep the Normandy in position to withdraw if needed. I don't know what the circumstances will be if I need to contact you, but if I call, I'll comment on your health. Be ready for anything. And," Shepard looked around at the ship, "keep her safe."

"Aye, aye, sir. We'll be there if you need us. I'll keep her safe here. You do the same on Earth, please." Shepard knew Joker was aware he would be taking EDI's physical body with him on this mission. He looked at Joker with understanding and nodded.

Shepard took the elevator to the armory and shuttle bay. He had experimented with load outs until he found the combination he considered ideal for multiple combat situations. He knew his heavy armor, assault rifle, and pistol would be waiting for him when he arrived in the armory. There was something else waiting as well when the elevator doors opened.

Tali stood just beyond the open doors of the elevator, arms crossed. She wore armored protection that fit over her environmental suit and helmet. Equipment she wore when she knew she would be in a firefight. "So, you really thought you were just going to leave me aboard the Normandy as you went to face the Reapers on Earth?" Her tone made it clear what she thought of that idea.

"Tali, I want you aboard the Normandy. Until we can get the Crucible into position I need you keeping the Normandy functioning. I don't know what I will need from this ship and you are my best bet to make sure she stays in this fight."

Shepard thought she had said 'Bosh'tet' in response to this, but then realized she had used a human phrase that sounded similar. "You're keeping me up here because you think you're protecting me. Daniels and Donnelly can handle the ship perfectly well and you might need my mechanical or computer skills if there are problems, not to mention EDI could be damaged or distracted. You keep saying we only get one shot at this, so let me use my skills where they will do the most good. Plus, if this is our last battle, I'd rather fight it at your side."

Tali paused expectantly. Shepard was honest enough to admit to himself she was right. Her skills would be more useful if they could board the Citadel than sitting on the Normandy. His main reason for keeping her on the Normandy was to keep her out of the fight. London would be crawling with Reaper forces and he did not want to put her in danger. Which was completely stupid. They were all in danger and his playing hero protecting the damsel was something Tali found rightfully insulting. And to be completely honest, if this were the end, he would rather fight at her side as well.

"You're right, Tali. I apologize. I can absolutely use your skills on this mission. Board the shuttle."

She turned and approached the shuttle. The shuttle would carry him, EDI, Tali, James Vega, Ashley Williams, and Garrus Vakarian to the surface where they would join up with resistance forces for the push on the ground based conduit to the Citadel. Shepard completed arming himself and climbed aboard as well. The bay door opened and the shuttle slipped through the field that maintained the bay atmosphere and into the battle outside.

Shepard was appalled at the carnage that had been wreaked in the short time the battle had been waged. Dozens of smaller allied ships and screening vessels had been damaged or destroyed. Allied fighters and Reaper Oculi swarmed each other in deadly clouds. But the Reapers were taking at least some damage in return. Some of their smaller vessels and even a few capital ships had taken damage. The allied shuttles were taking advantage of the chaos to slip through and transport their ground forces to Earth. Not all were making it.

As the shuttles broke into the atmosphere the Oculi that had bothered to pursue them returned to the space battle raging overhead. The shuttles dispersed toward various drop points. Shepard got his first look at Earth since being forced to flee during the Reaper's initial attack.

London had become a focal point for the combat and it showed. The city was a field of destroyed and damaged buildings, nearly invisible in the darkness. Burning buildings provided what illumination existed. Uncontrolled fires started by ruptured power conduits or crashed shuttles. There were likely no resources to put the fires out and no one willing to risk their lives trying. Why would they bother when the world was ending.

As if to punctuate that thought the ship suddenly dove in an evasive maneuver. Cortez called back, "Brace yourselves. There's a Hades Cannon near the landing site firing on us." The Hades Cannons were plasma based anti-aircraft weapons mounted on a Reaper destroyer and they were entirely too effective. The ship rocked as a shuttle that had been flying alongside the Normandy's shuttle was struck by the beam and exploded. The crippled shuttle lost altitude and crashed in the direction of the attacking Reaper. Cortez continued his evasive maneuver, angling away and dropping them into the cover of the damaged buildings below.

"Can we make the drop point with that cannon operational?" Shepard asked.

"Negative," Cortez replied. "You might be able to make it in on foot, but other shuttles will need to move through to drop their forces. With that thing covering the approaches, we'll lose a lot of people or be slowed so much avoiding it that the fleets won't be able to hold out."

"Are there any available forces that can take it out?" Vega asked.

Cortez responded, "None I can identify. That shuttle that was shot down was carrying heavy weapons. No way to tell if the weapons survived the explosion and crash, but they would be secured in protective crates, so…"

"Then that's our move," Shepard stated. "Williams and Vega will disembark with me and we will locate the shuttle crash and any intact weapons. Then we take down that cannon." Shepard knew there would be Reaper forces everywhere and wanted to take a small group that could hopefully go unnoticed, but be well armored and hit hard when necessary. He saw Tali start to make an objection, but cut her off. "No discussion. This is the right move for this situation. Cortez, you pull back and stay clear of the fight. I want you able to pick us up after we take that thing out, so no heroics. Understood?"

"Aye, aye, sir." I'll lay low until you signal. Cortez swept low to a clear area nearer the crashed shuttle. The doors slid open and they came under immediate fire from a small group of Cannibals and Marauders. Shepard could tell this was likely a small scouting group, so they moved quickly to eliminate them while the shuttle lifted away. The Cannibals and Marauders charged toward them across the open ground, falling quickly to the three soldiers concentrated assault rifle fire.

"Good to finally be back on Earth," Vega frowned as he scanned the damaged buildings.

"And to be getting some payback for what they've done to it," Williams added.

Shepard had nothing to add to that. They moved quickly away from where they had disembarked and fought the Reaper forces in case any other nearby forces were drawn to that spot. Cortez had reported the shuttle carrying the heavy weapons had crashed near the Reaper firing the Hades Cannon, so it was easy enough to head in the proper direction given the noise and shockwave it produced as it continued to intermittently fire. The noise did provide cover for their own movements, but Shepard could not help but note that the cannon would be an effective psychological weapon as well as anti-aircraft. The intermittent noise and vibration wasn't just loud, it was incredibly irritating. A few hours of that and he would be ready to charge the thing barehanded just to end the torment. It made him that much more eager to take it out.

They moved toward the likely crash site, evading two more groups of Reapers comprised of Cannibals and a few Marauders. And Husks. Shepard saw many of the creatures climbing through the damaged buildings and with the other Reaper troops. He knew that each one was a person who had died in agony only to rise up and inflict the same fate on his fellow humans. He silently cursed the Reapers for the thousandth time to the worst hells he could imagine.

Shepard knew they had to be getting close to the crash site. The columns of plasma energy blasting from the Hades Cannon could be seen lancing into the sky a few blocks away. Another block or two and they should see the Reaper itself. Shepard was focused on this as they climbed through a section of collapsed wall when a loud shriek sounded above and behind them. A patrolling Harvester had glided around a partially collapsed apartment building and spotted them. It immediately turned to strafe the small group with powerful energy bolts as Shepard, Vega, and Williams dove into the cover of the rubble. Shepard knew the cover would protect them long enough to pour enough fire into the Harvester to bring it down, but if they weren't fast enough they would draw too many Reaper troops to easily defeat.

Shepard was waiting for the dust to clear from the Harvester's initial barrage when he heard Cortez over his radio. "I've got you covered, Commander", Cortez declared as he swept over a nearby building toward the Harvester. The Harvester banked to meet this new threat and the shuttle and the monster exchanged fire at close range.

"Move!" Shepard ordered, taking advantage of the distraction even as he gritted his teeth, anxious for the shuttle and its occupants. Even though he had told Cortez to lay low changing battlefield circumstances could lead to changes in plans, but he had wanted to keep the shuttle out of danger for multiple reasons.

Shepard's concerns were suddenly validated. As they sprinted to a new location and cover, the shuttle scored a killing shot as the Harvester dove to attack the shuttle with its talons. The Harvester erupted in an enormous explosion that rocked the shuttle, leaving it trailing smoke from its forward thrusters. It struggled to gain altitude and limp away from the battle. Shepard was on his radio trying to reach Cortez. "Cortez, are you okay? Is everyone okay? Cortez, report". Several seconds passed during which Shepard, Vega, and Williams continued moving away from the area where the combat had just occurred.

Finally, a static blurred communication came in over Shepard's ear radio. "We're all okay, sir. The shuttle got a little banged up. I'm afraid we won't be able to pick you up. I'll see if I can line up some other transportation for when you're ready."

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief and radioed, "Very well. Stay clear, repeat, stay clear. We'll take it from here. We'll signal when we need pick up." Cortez had succeeded in providing an opportunity for them to get clear of the Harvester, but now their ride was in question. The Hades Cannon had to be taken out, but, if and when they were successful, they were certain to be swarmed if they were not quickly extracted.

Shepard could see the crash site now. The main body of the destroyed shuttle lay in the rubble ahead of them. A Reaper Destroyer with a Hades Cannon mounted on its back towered over the nearby buildings. Husks and Cannibals crawled over the wreckage. Using hand signals, Shepard ordered Williams to take up position while he and Vega moved forward. Williams climbed to the peak of a collapsed wall where she had cover as well as a vantage point. She expanded her sniper rifle and waited for Shepard and Vega to move into position.

Shepard and Vega crept forward, keeping to cover. Williams watched from her vantage point. Shepard waited until the cannon fired again, then he and Vega opened fire with their assault rifles, raking the unshielded Cannibals and Husks with standard rounds, not wanting to risk detonating or damaging any exposed heavy weapons with incendiary rounds.

It took seconds for the Reaper forces to realize they were under attack. As the fire from the cannon ended one of the Cannibals spotted the source of the attack, just before Williams put a round through its head.

Within seconds, only a handful of Reaper forces were standing around the shuttle. Shepard and Vega moved forward quickly, wanting to locate any usable heavy weapons before more Reaper troops arrived. Vega switched to his shotgun as they arrived at the wreckage. A Husk clambered over the top of the wreckage only to be met by a blast from Vega's shotgun. A second Husk dropped as Williams destroyed its head with a well placed round. Shepard searched through the wreckage, relying on his comrades to watch his back. As he entered the shuttle, he saw that the crew were Alliance and had been killed in the attack and subsequent crash. He quickly gathered their dog tags as he searched for the needed heavy weapons. He couldn't retrieve their bodies, but he would make the time to do them this much service for their sacrifice.

As he dug through the wreckage Shepard found a grenade launcher, but passed it by as too weak for what they needed. He found a damaged missile launcher, but knew there was no time to try to repair it. He regretted not bringing Tali along. If there were no functional weapons a skilled mechanic might be their only hope. Shepard shifted wreckage looking for something he could use, feeling the seconds ticking away.

Under a shattered bulkhead he found what he was looking for. An intact crate that contained something that caused him to break into a grin. Williams approached from her position, assault rifle ready, while Vega stood guard with his shotgun. Both whistled as Shepard hefted the M-920 Cain.

"Whoa, watch where you point that thing, Shepard", Vega joked.

"Will even that be enough to take that thing down?" Williams added, more serious and less awed by the weapon than Vega.

"If I hit it right, then I hope so", Shepard replied. "No time to waste, so cover me while I make this shot."

Shepard braced himself and aimed the Cain at his target. He agreed with Williams. He did not think that even the Cain would successfully take down the Reaper Destroyer. But he had an idea. The Hades Cannon was mounted on the Reaper, meaning it was likely not covered by the Destroyer's barrier. He believed it relied on the durable material from which it was constructed to protect the cannon. Plus, anyone who damaged the cannon would then have to deal with a pissed off Destroyer. Shepard aimed carefully and timed his shot. He could hear Vega and Williams firing at incoming troops, but he could not be distracted. As the Hades Cannon charged for another shot, he began charging the Cain. He had to have the timing precise or his one shot would fail and they would likely be overwhelmed as they waited for extraction that could not get through. His shields flared blue as shots reached him, but he stood braced as the Cain built power. Then, a fraction of a second before the Hades Cannon fired, the Cain launched a heavy slug at hypersonic speed toward the Destroyer, or more specifically, at the cannon it carried. Shepard had timed his shot well. The slug struck the charged priming chamber and ruptured it before the energy could be projected as a beam of plasma. The contained high-energy particles suddenly found a path of least resistance and followed it. Plasma burst through the rupture like a blowtorch, hot as a star. At that range not even the armor of the Reaper Destroyer was sufficient. The plasma sliced through the armor, fatally damaging the Reaper in a matter of seconds. It staggered and collapsed, sending a tremor through the ground as it disappeared from sight behind the damaged buildings.

Shepard had little time to enjoy his victory. He was taking increased fire as more Reaper troops arrived. Shepard ducked into cover and sent out a call over the radio for extraction. It would be obvious to anyone in a position to pick them up that the Hades Cannon was no longer a threat. As Shepard finished his transmission, he heard the scream of a Banshee. The twisted remnants of an Asari Ardat-Yakshi were thankfully rare, but incredibly dangerous. Shepard spotted this one rapidly approaching through a group of Cannibals, creating mass effect fields that allowed it to leap short distances instantly. Shepard pulled his people into the cover of the wreckage, knowing the Banshee would be on them quickly. The wreckage protected them from the oncoming Cannibals while giving them precious seconds to focus on destroying the Banshee.

Suddenly, the Banshee was mere meters from them, having made a jump from cover of its own. All three soldiers opened fire in unison, trying to strip the Banshee's barrier and cripple the creature before it could tear into them. The Banshee staggered under the combined fire, but would not go down. It hurled a pulsating ball of warp energy at the group, scattering them as they dove from the oncoming danger. Vega stumbled over a piece of wreckage, going to one knee. The Banshee bore in, seizing him in an oversized claw and lifting the huge man easily with its deceptively thin arm. The Banshee screamed again as it drew back its free arm to deliver the deathblow. Shepard, assault rifle discarded, leapt up to wrap his arm around the neck of the Banshee, disrupting its attack. With his free hand, he jammed a grenade deep into that oversized, screaming mouth, forcing the grenade in until the Banshee's throat bulged and its screaming was cut off. While Shepard did not know if it was possible to choke a Banshee, the Banshee was intelligent enough to realize what was happening and threw Vega aside to claw at the blockage in its throat. Vega and Shepard both rolled away as moments later the grenade detonated, obliterating the Banshee's head and upper torso. The remnant of its barrier helped contain the blast and shield the nearby humans from serious harm.

As Shepard and the others sought to regain their feet and engage the oncoming Cannibals a Kodiak shuttle with Alliance markings blasted in low over the buildings, firing its mass accelerator cannons into the Cannibals. Several went down immediately, creating a corridor to where the shuttle now hovered. Shepard ordered them forward at a run, firing into the remaining Reaper forces to force them to take cover or at least spoil their aim. They sprinted toward the opening shuttle door, shields flashing blue from incoming fire. Shepard's shields collapsed under the assault and he felt the impact of Reaper fire on his armor. He staggered the last few steps, diving into the open door. He was closely followed by Vega and Williams, similarly fighting those last few steps to reach safety. The shuttle was already angling away into the sky as the doors closed.

Shepard struggled to his feet to find himself looking into the face of Admiral David Anderson, the man he had left behind the day the Reapers invaded Earth. Shepard reflexively snapped to attention despite having just dived aboard amid Reaper fire. Vega and Williams followed suit a fraction of a second later.

"I thought I asked you to drop the formality, Shepard", Anderson joked, a smile on his face. "Williams, Vega, good to see you again as well". Anderson reached a hand forward to shake Shepard's hand. Shepard shook Anderson's hand for a moment before pulling him into a hug.

"If you say so, sir. Formality be damned. It is wonderful to see you alive and well."

"Alive anyway. I don't know if I'll ever be well again", Anderson said truthfully.

"If I may say, sir, I didn't expect to find you aboard the shuttle picking us up." Shepard was genuinely caught off guard by Anderson's presence in such a dangerous situation. "What on earth are you doing out here?"

A second man who had already been aboard the shuttle with the Admiral spoke up at this. "He's out here taking a chance that I really wish he would have reconsidered."

"Taking an Admiral's prerogative more like. When I heard Shepard was trying to take out that cannon and would need extraction, well, I wasn't going to miss the chance to be there for him after everything he has been doing for us. End of story."

The other man seemed to be on good terms with Anderson, their byplay born of genuine concern rather than regulations or obsequiousness. Anderson suddenly recalled that the men he was talking with had never met. "My apologies, Shepard. This is Major Nigel F. Coates. He's been with me since the day the Reapers invaded. Pulled my ass out of the fire more than once."

"That's a drop in the bucket compared to what you've done for us. None of us would still be fighting, let alone coordinating a major attack, without Anderson. That's why this was such a dangerous choice". Coates could not resist reminding Anderson once more that he thought his jaunt to pick up Shepard was not the best idea.

"Let's not start handing out medals just yet. We'll be back at the FOB shortly and we'll need to coordinate the forces that have made it to the base and move out in minutes. Whatever time we waste here will cost lives and ships above us. After we land, Shepard, get your people organized and come find me in our headquarters right away. I'll be coordinating the arrival of whatever Hammer ground forces are able to make it. We'll need to go over the plan of attack and any new intelligence before we begin the operation, but we won't be able to wait for stragglers".

As the shuttle door opened, Shepard could see the FOB was active. Troops were arriving by ground and shuttle and hustling to prepare for the imminent battle. Snipers and gunners kept watch for encroachment from ground or sky, firing on any Reaper forces that got too curious about the activity. Shepard had hoped to see more allied troops than were currently visible. It was possible others were arrayed out of sight or would be arriving any moment. It was also possible they weren't.

Shepard turned to Williams and Vega. "Make sure you're okay and your gear didn't take any damage back there. Grab something to eat and prepare to move out. I've got a few things to follow up on before we move on the Reapers."

Shepard began to turn to enter the base, but Vega and Williams both stopped him. Vega spoke first. "I just wanted to say, Loco, that it has been an honor serving with you. Whatever happens today, we couldn't have made it this far without everything you've done and I am proud to end this day fighting beside you." Vega saluted sharply, pride in his face and posture.

Williams echoed Vega's attitude. "Skipper, I haven't always been there for you when you needed me, but you've always been there when I needed you. You have my trust, now and forever."

"You've always done what you thought was right, Ash. I've never faulted you for that. You're one of the strongest people I've ever known. You've never stopped fighting the battles you thought were most important. You've earned everything you've achieved." Shepard reached out and took her hand. "And your father would be proud. Remember that as you go into the fight today. You once told me you believed he was watching over you from heaven. I believe he'll be watching over you today."

Ashley stood for a moment staring at his hand in hers.

"Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid."

Shepard smiled at Ashley, a smile she returned in kind. "Invictus, by Henley", Shepard stated. "I read it after you quoted part to me back on the Citadel. Fight hard today, both of you, and we'll finish it on the Citadel.

"Aye, aye, Skipper", Williams replied. Williams and Vega snapped to attention and saluted Shepard crisply. He returned the salute and sent them on their way with a simple, "Dismissed." Shepard turned from the shuttle and strode into the FOB focused on what else he could do to be certain he would not let any of these people down.

* * *

**Author's note: I just wanted to thank any and all who have spent the time to read this far into this story. I am learning just how quickly writing a story can take on a life of its own. I just hope that life is a beautiful (or at least tolerable) newborn and not a Frankenstein's monster. I welcome feedback from any who would care to give it and wish you each health and happiness.


	7. Chapter 7 - Boarding Action

Chapter 7 – Boarding Action

Shepard entered the FOB contemplating what other resources he could draw upon and whom else he could tap to provide back-up for if things fell apart. To his relief, Cortez had contacted him to let him know they had landed safely at the FOB. Tali was safe and waiting at the headquarters as were Garrus and EDI. Williams and Vega had gone ahead to get checked out and grab some food. Shepard had a few minutes to think and to walk. He knew the battle was continuing in space. Admiral Anderson had said they had only minutes before he would be needed for the mission briefing. That left very little time for further inspiration.

Shepard had walked only a handful of steps before he realized the activity near him had stopped. Whole groups of soldiers had come to a halt to either overtly or covertly stare at him. Most tried to appear busy when he looked their way, but others simply stared. As he continued his walk across the FOB he found himself moving in a circle of open space surrounded by a growing mass of soldiers of various species. Shepard maintained his pace with growing discomfort. Suddenly, a Turian worked his way through the group and stood directly in front of Shepard, saluting Alliance fashion. Shepard returned the salute.

"Commander. Sorry to trouble you. I'm Sergeant Klyrens of the Turian Ninth Platoon. I wanted to thank you personally for what you did for us and Lieutenant Victus on Tuchanka. Not to mention bringing the Krogan into this war. We owe you a debt we cannot repay." The Turian put his hand out to shake Shepard's hand.

"The credit goes to the Ninth and to Tarquin Victus. He sacrificed himself for the success of the mission and that was a big part of bringing the Krogan aboard. I'm sorry for his loss, he was a good soldier."

"Not sorrow Commander. Pride. He redeemed himself and created a victorious chapter in the history of the Ninth Platoon. Though that will be small next to the chapter you will write today when you destroy the Reapers."

Shepard wasn't comfortable with the implication that he would wipe the Reapers out single-handed. "That's a chapter we're going to write together. All of us", Shepard gestured to include the growing assemblage of troops. Those in immediate earshot raised a cheer at that statement. Sergeant Klyrens saluted again and stepped away.

Shepard realized he had made a mistake in including the onlookers in his statement to the Turian. Suddenly, all the assembled soldiers had become part of the conversation. More soldiers began to push forward to speak to Shepard or just be closer. As the circle of empty space shrank, he felt a few people just reach out to touch his arm or shoulder.

One of the human soldiers stepped forward, smiling nervously. She saluted, which Shepard again returned. "Commander Shepard. I'm Corporal Hadley. Last year you saved the colony on Watson from Batarian terrorists. My husband and children were in that colony and I just wanted to thank you." She shuffled from foot to foot. Shepard stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I was just in the right place to do the right thing. Thank you for your service, Corporal. Together we'll save all our families and forge a path to a better future."

The Corporal smiled again and backed away from Shepard, saluting. Shepard realized if he didn't get clear of the crowd he would be swamped by those wishing to thank him, or meet him, or just be near him. He angled toward the nearest building intending an escape. Without warning he was struck on the shoulder and nearly knocked to the ground. He staggered and turned in the direction of the blow finding not an attacker, but a grinning Krogan. The Krogan was on the small side for his species, which was a bit like saying an elephant was on the small side for its species. He looked familiar to Shepard.

Shepard braced himself as the Krogan landed another jovial slap on his shoulder, managing not to stagger. "Shepard. I thought that was you. I never thought I'd get the chance to thank you face-to-face for what you did for me."

Shepard dug through his memory for who the Krogan was and where he had met him. His colors were Clan Urdnot and he was wearing the gear typical of a Krogan scout. Shepard suddenly recalled where he had met this Krogan. "Urdnot…Darg, is it. I remember talking to you at the Weyrloc base on Tuchanka."

"Talking, HAH. You kicked my sorry ass into gear. Got me up and moving so I could finish my mission. That got me some recognition and a trip to the female camp. Now with you curing the genophage I can take advantage of that and have a family. All Krogan owe that to you. You got a hell of a quad, Shepard. When this is done I'm going to name my first hundred children after you. But first you've got to go out and crush the Reapers and I KNOW YOU WILL!" More cheering erupted around Shepard. He felt a creeping desperation and knew he needed to get clear.

The Krogan turned and stalked into the crowd. Enjoying the way the smaller species had to make way for his bulk. Shepard took advantage of the space created to jump to the top of a pile of rubble next to the door he had been working towards. More than a hundred faces turned upward simultaneously, hanging on his words.

"I have been fortunate to have been in a position to aid my fellow soldiers, my fellow humans, my fellow sentients. Given the chance to be the best I could, I have always tried to take that chance. Today, it's the turn of each of you. Your chance to rise up and be your best. To hold nothing back and use that strength and determination knock the Reapers back into the abyss they crawled from. To redeem the past and build a bright future for all our species. I know we can do it, TOGETHER. Now go and make me, make yourself proud." As the group cheered his words Shepard took advantage of the moment to jump to the door and enter the building, removing himself from the crowd. He watched as they dispersed, talking and encouraging each other.

Shepard exhaled with relief and turned to enter the room in which he had taken refuge. He found the building had been repurposed as a small communications bunker. Techs were monitoring and adjusting equipment. They looked up at his entry and saluted, but to his relief returned immediately to their duties. Shepard approached the communications officer.

Shepard saw that the equipment included gear from multiple species, suggesting that the allied forces had integrated their communication protocols and equipment to improve the speed and ease of communication. Shepard's mind had shifted from the press of soldiers he had traversed to his original thoughts of how to expand his options should things go badly. Looking at the equipment, he suddenly had an idea.

The communications officer looked up and saluted as Shepard approached him. "Lieutenant, there are a number of allied and auxiliary troops I would like to contact. Can you assist me in reaching them quickly?"

"We've integrated our communications with each of the allied forces. If the people you're trying to reach are out there, I'll do my best to connect you quickly. We have holographic communication, but unless they are near a projector on their end, this will be audio only."

"Let's start with Miranda Lawson. She's not Alliance, but she offered to help and is likely working with Alliance forces." The officer searched the database for the location and frequency to connect with Miranda. Shepard was impressed that within a few seconds he was hearing her voice.

"Miranda, it's Shepard. How is the battle going where you are?"

"Just demonstrating the advantages of superior genetics and training. The Alliance soldiers here seemed much more willing to overlook my past connections after I wiped out a few dozen Husks and Cannibals. What are you doing contacting me?"

"I'm getting ready. I don't even know what for yet. Maybe nothing, but I'm not willing to take chances with that. I realized some of the people I trust most also happen to be scattered around this battlefield. I think having those people ready to be in the right place at the right time might do far more good than having them fighting battles all over the entirety of London. I want to put you in the right place, if you're willing."

"I've learned to trust your judgment, Shepard. If you have someplace you need me to be, tell me where and I'll be there."

"Thank you, Miranda. If you can give me your location I'll see to it you're picked up by shuttle. I want you aboard the Normandy." Shepard received her coordinates and noted them in his omni-tool. He cut the connection and turned back to the comm officer. "Next I want to be connected with the Asari Justicar, Samara. She would be fighting, well, wherever she decides to, so she might be tough to locate."

The comm officer continued to impress Shepard over the next several minutes as he was able to connect Shepard to nearly all the people he was seeking. Samara echoed Miranda's sentiments and quickly agreed to join the reserve force Shepard was gathering. Jacob Taylor had returned to Earth to aid the fight as well. He was more hesitant to join what he expected could be an even more dangerous situation than the fighting he was already involved in, but recognized Shepard had a nose for being in the right place at the right time to make a difference. He wanted to make a difference for himself and for his new family. Grunt, the tank-bred Krogan, immediately agreed, stating Shepard always found the best enemies to fight. With Aralakh Company destroyed on Utukku, Grunt was free to fight where he chose. Thankfully, Grunt seemed uninterested in holding a grudge toward the man whose decisions saved the Rachni, but doomed Aralakh Company. The mercenary, Zaeed Massani knew as well that where Shepard pointed was where to find the battle. And the best pay. Jack, to her credit, refused to leave her students. They were assigned to providing barriers for a platoon holding a flank and couldn't simply abandon that post, even on the word of Commander Shepard. Shepard encouraged them to keep safe. Of the people he tried to contact, only the thief, Kasumi Goto, was nowhere in the data base. Shepard was not really surprised by this, just a bit disappointed. After a scant five minutes, Shepard was headed out of the communications station by the back door, list of location coordinates in hand.

Shepard moved toward the headquarters building, one-eye out for possible well-wishers. He activated his comm and contacted Cortez. "Cortez, give me an update on the status of the shuttle."

A moment later, Cortez responded. "The shuttle took some damage. The techs and I are working on her, but it's going to be a while before she will be fully operational."

Damn, Shepard thought. Shepard wanted his back-up force aboard the Normandy and for that he needed a shuttle. "Okay. There have been dozens of shuttles landing troops for the assault. Find one that isn't immediately going back out and have it assigned to the Normandy. If dropping the Normandy's name isn't enough, drop mine." Shepard did not care for the celebrity that had become attached to his name, but for once he was going to make it work for him. "Once you have the shuttle, I've got some reinforcements for you to pick up. I'm forwarding the IDs and locations for each. Joker should be keeping in position to withdraw from the battle and pick you up when you've got them. Get them to the Normandy and then return and wait on standby. When we assault the Conduit we'll either be successful and the back-up won't be needed, or we'll have them ready if it all goes to hell." Shepard realized that his contingency planning lacked much of the planning element. He had gathered what resources he could, but all chips were on the Crucible and if it didn't work there was no alternate plan, only the hope that they would figure something out or at least die fighting. Perhaps having the right people available would make the former more likely.

"Get going, Cortez. We don't have much time. Remember to stay out of the fighting this time. I need you and these people safe and in position if it comes to that."

"Aye, aye, sir. Taking care of it now. I'll let you know when I've completed the pick-ups and everyone is aboard."

Shepard entered the headquarters and headed for the briefing with Admiral Anderson and the other commanders. As he entered the room, Shepard noted that Primarch Victus of the Turian Hierarchy and Urdnot Wrex, leader of the Krogan were in attendance as well. Shepard saw with relief that Garrus, Tali, and EDI were present. As the Turian expert on combatting Reapers it made sense that Garrus was present. Looking around the table and seeing no other Quarians, Shepard realized Tali was present in her role as a Quarian Admiral. He did not see a Geth representative. It was clear that the briefing was ready to begin. Shepard did not want to hold things up any further.

"Apologies for my delay," Shepard offered. "I was making some final preparations."

Anderson turned to the assembled group stating, "We were just about to begin." Shepard edged up to the table between Garrus and Tali, giving Tali a nudge and smile. She inclined her head as a return smile and they both turned to focus on the briefing.

"Admiral Hackett was able to access the remaining communication network and can hear us now. Admiral Hackett, what's the status of Sword Fleet?" Anderson asked.

Hackett's voice came over a static blurred communications channel. "Sword Fleet was successful in distracting the Reaper forces and deploying additional ground support for the assault on the Conduit. The drop ships took casualties, but we were able to land substantial forces, which should be all accounted for at the FOB. Following deployment, Sword Fleet disengaged and withdrew beyond lunar orbit. The Reapers do not seem to be interested in pursuing us far from the Citadel. They know we have to engage them eventually. Our defensive posture in the initial engagement reduced damage to the fleet, but also confirmed that Reaper strength around Earth and the Citadel is prohibitive. We calculate that unless we are successful with deployment of the Crucible, a protracted battle will annihilate our remaining naval forces. Those are the stakes we're facing. I'm counting on Hammer to make it aboard the Citadel and get those arms open. When the assault begins, Sword Fleet will reengage with the Reapers to distract them and prevent Reaper ships from interfering in the operation. This will also place us in position escort the Crucible to the Citadel when the arms open."

Anderson stood rubbing the stubble on his chin as Hackett ended his update. "Thank you Admiral. We're finalizing our preparations for the assault. I'll notify you when we are ready to launch. Stay safe up there." Anderson turned to the assembled leaders. "You all heard the situation with Sword Fleet. We've got our own problems down here. Our reconnaissance indicates that when Sword Fleet arrived, the Reapers moved a Reaper Destroyer to the base of the Conduit. We won't be reaching the Conduit until we take that thing out." Anderson shifted the holographic map to display the position of the Destroyer.

Garrus' mandibles twitched. "That thing is awfully close to the base of the Conduit, so bombardment is out of the question."

"I say we drive right at it and hit it with the heaviest weapons we can bring to bear." Wrex, as usual preferred blunt force, and a lot of it.

"Urdnot Wrex is essentially correct." Wrex turned and gave a smug look to Garrus at Anderson's statement. "We've pulled as many forces as we could to this base for the assault. Our defensive forces will be overrun as soon as the Reapers realize how thin they are. We don't have the time for subtlety. So we're going to punch straight down the middle of this no-man's land, clearing the way for our heavy weapons to hit the Destroyer. We hit it, take it down, and immediately assault the Conduit before the Reapers can land more reinforcements."

Primarch Victus spoke up. "What do we have that's heavy enough to take that thing down?"

"We have a small number of Thanix Missile Launchers. We bring them forward under cover and blast the Destroyer to pieces." Anderson smacked his fist into his palm for emphasis. "Commander Shepard, you were able to kill one of these Destroyers to allow the Hammer forces to reach the FOB. Do you believe that Thanix Missiles will be able to destroy this one?"

Shepard was considering that question when Tali spoke up, pride in her voice. "Actually, Admiral Anderson, that was the third Reaper ship Shepard destroyed. He took out another one on the Quarian homeworld, Rannoch, and another on Tuchanka before that." The heads of the other commanders whipped around at that pronouncement. Not everyone at this table was aware of each of those engagements.

Shepard cleared his throat. "I had a lot of help and good luck for the most part." Shepard considered. The Thanix Missile was in testing at the time of his 'house arrest'. He had seen the specifications, but wanted to be sure he was recalling them correctly. Shepard called up the specifications to one side of the holographic display. "As I understand it, the Thanix Missile is essentially an array of short range, single shot Thanix Cannons delivered by the Missile to point-blank range. On impact, they fire simultaneously, delivering maximum penetration. That may be enough to punch through the Reaper's armor, but it would be best to hit it when the armor retracts to fire. If we can do that, then I believe this will bring the Destroyer down."

"Then that's our plan. Hammer will punch up the middle with Shepard taking point. Forces will fan out to prevent the Reapers from flanking Hammer or attacking the launchers bringing up the Thanix Missiles. As soon as the Destroyer goes down, all available forces will take advantage of the disruption to charge the base of the Conduit and reach the Citadel. Each squad has been provided a copy of a Prothean VI that will reportedly interface with the Crucible once it is docked to the Citadel. Our scientists believe these copies retain this interface function though they lack some other functions. Whoever reaches the Citadel will open the arms for the Crucible to dock, then initiate the Crucible's interface with the Catalyst, destroying the Reapers, we believe." There was uncomfortable shifting around the table. Everyone here knew that the Crucible's ability to destroy the Reapers was inferred, not proven. No one knew for certain if it would be selective. There was a chance they could all be dead, from the Reapers or the Crucible, in the next few hours.

"Sir, I need to speak with you and Admiral Hackett, privately", Shepard interjected.

"Of course, Commander. Everyone else, we'll be moving out shortly. Make sure your forces are ready. Good luck to all of us."

Shepard waited as the other commanders filed from the room. Garrus, Tali, and EDI waited for Shepard near the doorway. "Admiral Anderson, Admiral Hackett, before we commence the operation I wanted to make sure I pass along to you the information gleaned by the Asari investigators regarding the attack by Matriarch Calissa. I'm forwarding the encrypted information to you Admiral Hackett and providing an encrypted OSD to Admiral Anderson. This information is for your eyes only. If we survive the next few hours, this information will be important for dealing with the aftermath of the Reaper invasion. If we don't survive, well, then it really won't matter since there won't be anything left."

"Thank you for providing this information, Commander," Hackett stated. If we survive this then we'll make sure this information is handled carefully. If we fail, well, I will say that you're not the only one who can make contingency plans, Shepard." Shepard did not know what Hackett was referring to, but he really didn't need to. Hopefully, they would not need whatever contingency Hackett had put in place for their extinction.

"Admiral Anderson, Admiral Hackett, it has been an honor serving with each of you. Hopefully, we'll meet at the end of this and share a toast to our victory." Shepard saluted Anderson, who returned the salute. Shepard turned and joined his friends at the door. They walked together from the room.

"Garrus, I've got Cortez picking up a few reinforcements in case we need them. When he gets back from dropping them off, I want you aboard the shuttle with him. He'll be on standby and if he has to fly into any hot zones I want someone I know and trust to back him up."

"So you're saying you want me to skip the fighting and guard a shuttle in case you need it?" Garrus did not sound particularly impressed with the idea.

"I know it sounds like a waste of your talent, Garrus. But I don't believe one more sniper, even one who can beat me in a shooting contest, will be what sways this battle. My gut is telling me I need as many people as I can trust in the right place if this goes to shit. You are at the top of that list. If I'm wrong then you miss out on killing a few Reapers. If I'm right, well, I'm hoping I don't find out what happens if I'm right. If the Primarch has you committed elsewhere, I understand."

"Actually, it sounds damn pathetic. But I've been there for the tragedies that follow when people doubt your gut and don't listen. I don't like the idea of sitting in a shuttle while the fight is going on, but I will do as you ask."

"Thank you, Garrus. Knowing you have my back is a relief. You have been a true friend. Remember, there's no Shepard without Vakarian. So if things do fall apart, make sure you duck."

"Can do, Shepard. I've heard some nasty rumors from Alliance types that a Turian can't duck because of the stick up his ass. That rumor is mostly false, which I will prove as necessary today." Garrus smiled as well as his damaged face allowed and saluted Shepard. He turned to Tali and stated, "You remember to duck as well. I expect to dance at your wedding after all this is over."

Whatever Tali had been intending to say in return was lost to a sudden fit of sputtering. Shepard too suddenly found himself unable to form coherent words as he stared wide-eyed at Garrus. Garrus simply smiled at them both and turned away, confident that he had well and truly gotten in the last word.

Several moments passed during which Shepard bounced on the balls of his feet while Tali found something very interesting to look at on the cracked wall near them. Tali was the first to speak again. "I'm sure Garrus was just joking with us. Trying to get a reaction." She was wringing her hands, a sure tell for her of sudden nervousness.

"I'm sure he was joking too, Tali." Shepard was thoughtful. He had been so focused on surviving day-to-day, on fighting the Reapers, on enjoying his time with Tali, that he had not thought beyond the upcoming fight. What would he want if they were victorious? What would she want? Big questions that he had absolutely no time to consider. But he would not leave completely unaddressed a topic that had clearly caused distress to her. "Tali, I don't know what will occur after today, if we'll even be alive, but I love you. Garrus was joking, but I don't consider it a joke at all. We'll have to have a real conversation about our future once we make sure we have one. All I know for sure is that I want you with me, whatever that future is."

Tali let out the breath she had been holding. "I love you too, John. I want our futures, whatever they are, to be joined. It's why I'm here beside you now."

Shepard took her into a hug, but jumped when a synthetic voice suddenly interjected. "Shepard Commander, I apologize for the interruption. The assault will commence in approximately eight minutes. You should proceed to the staging area immediately. Your presence is critical to both the timing and morale of the operation."

Shepard realized the voice had come from Tali's omni-tool. He looked at her questioningly. She gave a sheepish shrug and explained. "That was Bit. The Geth wanted a representative present at the briefing and it was thought best not to have a Geth platform walking through the FOB. Even though they are our allies now, there was too great a chance someone might react with hostility. I agreed to download Bit to my suit despite some past hesitancy. I completely forgot to mention it to you." Tali shrugged again.

"It's not a problem, Tali. I'm happy to see you trust and work with the Geth. It's best for both your people. It's just a little embarrassing to realize Bit was sharing in our intimate moment."

"If it is any comfort, Shepard Commander, I was engaged in communication with the Geth command staff and did not monitor the details of your mating rituals."

Shepard sighed heavily and rubbed his temples. Tali muttered, "Oh, Keelah."

Shepard took Tali's hand stating, "If we survive this, the three of us are going to have a conversation about boundaries."

They collected EDI, who had been waiting patiently. "That was much better than the joke I was going to tell about always having to wait while you and Tali flirt with each other. Bit, later we will have to have a discussion comparing Human and Quarian physical response patterns such as pupil dilation and…" EDI trailed off as Shepard gave her a glare.

"I am collecting extensive physiological data as part of my protocol to assist Creator Zorah in adapting to external biological threats. We can compare observations at your convenience."

"Oh, Keelah. What have I done. I knew I should have never allowed a Geth to download into my suit." Shepard picked up the pace, wanting desperately to find something he could shoot.

* * *

Ten minutes later Shepard was spearheading the Hammer forces across the no-man's land separating the FOB from the Conduit. The lead elements of the assault focused on clearing everything between them and their goal. Strong defensive forces fanned out to the sides to protect the flanks and prevent Reaper forces from mounting an attack from the rear. The Thanix Missile launchers followed, prepared to move up quickly to fire on the Reaper Destroyer.

The initial push was extremely effective. Reaper forces fell quickly before the sudden onslaught of concentrated firepower. Shepard knew that it wouldn't last. With their forces committed, the Reapers would swarm to the assault and wear them down. The Hammer forces couldn't survive a war of attrition, so they had to strike quickly. They moved toward the conduit, visible in the distance. The beam grew closer quickly as the assault covered the intervening ground.

They were nearly to the zone where they expected to engage the Destroyer when an urgent call for assistance came over the comms. Two units of tanks and supporting infantry on the right flank were being overwhelmed. Shepard knew they couldn't divert any significant amount of forces to this threat and maintain their momentum, so he radioed that he would aid the units while the main force made the last push to move the missiles into position.

Shepard, Tali, and EDI sprinted to the columns right flank, no more than three blocks from the center of the advance. Shepard realized that as the attack had advanced, the right flank had passed a sturdy building that remained mostly standing. The Reaper forces had set up an ambush within the building. A wide, former parking lot spread out in front of the building and around each side. Two hammerhead infantry vehicles lay shattered and burning far from the building, likely destroyed before their maneuverability could compensate for their paper thin armor. A Mako stood nearby, heavily damaged. Several troops huddled in the dubious protection of the wreckage. Others lay dead in the open, unsuccessful at fighting or fleeing, whichever had been attempted.

Shepard scanned the surrounding buildings. It was evident from the damage to the vehicles which direction the attack had come from. Next to him, Tali manipulated her omni-tool, enhancing her helmet's optics. "Shepard, the third floor left side of the building has recent damage from small arms fire. I think it's likely that is where they are hiding."

The three of them took cover in the building across the street from the parking lot. "Tali and I will move to the far end of this building. EDI, when we are ready, give them something to shoot at, but be careful. I want to see what they have up there."

Shepard and Tali moved along the back of the building and disappeared around the corner. EDI waited several seconds, then generated a hologram of herself standing near the building. She fired several rounds from her submachine gun into the area designated by Tali. Within moments she noted movement behind the façade of the building and rounds began impacting on and around her decoy and the building behind which she shielded. Another moment and a pair of extremely powerful energy blasts obliterated the decoy. EDI warned Shepard of the presence of at least one Ravager. Unexpectedly, the Ravager began firing into the building behind which she was taking cover, quickly collapsing the corner of the building. The building, already damaged and not as sturdy as the structure in which the Reapers sheltered, began collapsing. EDI sprang away from the falling rubble, sprinting quickly to fresh cover.

Behind her, the collapsing building generated an enormous cloud of dust. Shepard saw the opportunity and sprinted through the dust toward the nearest corner of the opposing building, Tali close behind. Unsure if the dust would completely mask them, Tali generated a combat drone to their left, at the extreme limit of her control range. As she ran, Bit enhanced the electromagnetic signature and visible orange glow as much as possible calculating that this would draw any fire that might have come their way.

As they sprinted clear of the dust cloud and approached the building, it was clear the ruse had worked. The drone was drawing fire toward and around it, vanishing in the bursts of the Ravager's attacks. By the time the Reaper forces realized where Shepard and Tali actually were, it was too late to shift aim to them. Shepard and Tali reached the edge of the building, smashing their way through a window and into the building itself.

"Chik'tikka has many uses", Tali said proudly.

They found themselves in what was likely once an office, but wasted no time with further examination. Shepard led them quickly out of the office and down the hallway toward his best estimate of where the Reaper forces were positioned. He did not want to take a chance the Reapers would move and evade or ambush them. They made it to a stairwell and approached the third floor.

On the third floor they moved down the corridor as silently as possible toward the front left corner of the building. The inner wall had partially collapsed and Shepard could hear movement within the room. The Reapers appeared unwilling to give up their vantage point. Shepard quietly laid out a plan with Tali and Bit and they approached the room.

Shepard took up position at the edge of a hole in the wall. Tali created her drone at what they estimated would be the midpoint of the room. A blue drone appeared as well, simultaneously generated by Bit. One drone drew the Reapers attention with electrical attacks while the second, previously linked to Shepard's omni-tool, scanned the enemies and fed location information to Shepard. Armed with that information, Shepard leaned from cover and fired a stream of incendiary rounds into the Ravager. He then walked his fire to the second Ravager the scan had detected. The Marauder and Cannibals in the room had been focused on the two drones that appeared, firing into them. They began to turn to the new threat when both drones exploded, arcing electricity into the Reaper forces further damaging and disorienting them. Shepard ceased his assault rifle fire as his thermal clip overheated, shifting smoothly to the grenades he had prepared. A smattering of return fire struck around him as he hurled three fragmentation grenades into the room. The series of blasts eradicated most of the remaining resistance. Shepard quickly swapped thermal clips as the blasts ended. Leaning in and finishing off one heavily wounded Ravager and Marauder. The grenades had also finished off whatever swarmers had been released by the Ravagers.

Shepard had only moments to admire his handiwork. His comm crackled to life. "Shepard, this is Anderson. The launchers are reporting they've reached position, but they're getting swarmed with Reaper forces. Get up there and assist."

"We're on our way sir. We've shored up the hole in the right flank, but that won't matter if we don't fire those missiles." Shepard and Tali sprinted from the building, passing in moments the troops that had been pinned behind the wreckage of their vehicles. "Hold this flank!" Shepard shouted at them as he ran past. He didn't wait to see if they were able to comply. Shepard collected EDI who was waiting near the collapsed building she had used for cover.

Reaching the location Anderson had indicated, Shepard could see that two Thanix launchers had indeed been brought into range of the Conduit. The Reaper Destroyer squatted in the distance near the Conduit, tantalizingly close. But despite the concentration of troops protecting the launchers, they were rapidly being cut down by the Reaper forces. Husks and Cannibals tore at the infantry, trying to reach the launchers. A Banshee and two Brutes broke through a line of defenders, tossing bodies through the air. An engineer, attempting to launch missiles from the lead launcher, went down in a hail of gunfire.

Shepard hurried toward the battle, trying to reach the carnage before it was too late. As he entered the range of his assault rifle, he watched as the two brutes swept aside defenders and tore into one of the launchers, quickly reducing it to junk. With only one launcher remaining, Shepard couldn't spare time for clever plans. He hurried forward, firing into one of the Brutes, making for the remaining launcher.

Shepard focused on the Brute's head, firing incendiary rounds into the closest thing to a weak point the creatures possessed. The beast has already been injured in its attack on the convoy. Shepard's rounds managed to sever the Turian head from the non-Turian body. He wasn't sure if it was Krogan, Elcor, or other, but it didn't matter as the thing crashed dead to the ground.

Tali and Bit were distracting the nearby Reaper infantry with multiple drones and defense turrets. Shepard reached the rear of the launcher as the remaining Brute turned to advance on him. Shepard looked down and realized the dead soldier at his feet was holding a Hydra missile launcher that he had never been able to fire. He also heard the screams of a Banshee, but could not see her.

Shepard drew his Carnifex pistol and rounded the side of the launcher. The Brute was there, pulling back its enormous claw to destroy the launcher. Shepard fired at close range, the powerful pistol ripping flaming holes in the Brute's armor. As he changed thermal clips, the Brute turned from the launcher to Shepard, stepping forward and grabbing him in its claw, easily hoisting him into the air. It squeezed, crushing Shepard in it's grip. His armor buckled and he felt his body compress, his reinforced bones holding for the moment.

Tali appeared next to the Brute. She jammed her shotgun into a gap created by Shepard's pistol fire and pulled the trigger. The shot tore into the Brute's internal organs, causing it to drop Shepard and stagger a step away. It dropped to one knee and Tali pressed her shotgun against the now reachable Turian head and fired again. The Brute crumpled to the ground.

Shepard rolled to the back of the launcher and forced himself to a kneeling position, holding the Hydra. "Tali, down!" Shepard shouted. She dropped immediately, rolling a few feet as the arms of the Banshee swept past her head. Shepard had seen it making its short range jumps to behind Tali, advancing in silence to gain surprise. Shepard hoped Tali's shields were intact as he held the trigger to the Hydra. He released the trigger and the spread of missiles ripped into and through the pot belly of the Banshee, detonating as they exited its back. They heat and blast swept over Shepard and Tali as the Banshee was pulverized.

"Tali, are you okay!?" Shepard dragged himself toward her. EDI stood over them protectively keeping the remaining Reaper infantry at bay.

"I'm okay, Shepard. Bit reinforced my shields as best as it could. We need to fire the missiles." She got to her feet and hurried to the launch panel.

Shepard regained his feet and took position to protect her. "EDI, help her with the targeting. We've only got this one shot".

The Destroyer was intermittently firing into the nearby buildings at outlying troops. EDI and Tali worked together to calculate the timing and targeting to strike the Destroyer while its armor was retracted for firing. Shepard continued firing at the Cannibals and Husks, worried another Brute or Banshee would appear.

"We've got it Shepard! Firing now!" Tali exclaimed. With the press of a holographic button, the Thanix missiles arced away from the launcher toward the Destroyer. It had just fired and was beginning to close its armor when the missiles struck. One missile had deviated slightly and struck the angled armor, deflecting further as it detonated. The Thanix cannons scored the armor, but otherwise did no significant damage. The second missile, however, slipped between the closing armor plates to strike the Destroyer near its firing lens. The cluster of Thanix cannons fired ripping apart vital systems and control elements. The Destroyer staggered, armored plates ripped away in the back blast, circuitry and fluids trailing from the enormous hole.

Shepard would take no chances with the monster. "All remaining units. The Destroyer is damaged and its armor is down. Hit it with anything you've got." Within moments heavy weapon fire came from a small number of remaining troops. The combination of missile and grenade fire combined with the extensive damage from the Thanix missile brought the Reaper down for good. The Conduit glowed, no more than ten blocks away.

"Anderson, we're good. The Destroyer is down. We need to advance on the Conduit immediately."

"We're nearly to your position, Shepard. I've pulled all the remaining vehicles and troops I could from our rear and flanks. The Reapers will be attacking from the rear in moments, so we push forward. We'll pick you up in twenty seconds."

Shepard readjusted the shifted plates of his armor and activated a dose of medi-gel. Tali and EDI stood with him. The nearby Reapers had pulled back when the Destroyer fell, so they stood and watched the Conduit until Anderson's forces reached them.

"Commander Shepard, this is Cortez. Packages delivered and I am laying low until you need me. I saw the Reaper go down, great job, sir."

"Thanks, Cortez. Stay ready. If I need you, it will be soon." Shepard, Tali, and EDI climbed into Anderson's APC. It lurched into motion almost immediately.

"This is the home stretch, Shepard. We'll be at the Conduit in moments. Get ready to rush that thing and we'll crack the Citadel open for the Crucible. That will be the end of this."

"Yes, sir. And then we all get a vacation. Right?"

"We'll get some rest soon enough. One more job first." Anderson smiled at these last words, but suddenly his smile turned into an intense frown. He placed his hand to his ear in a gesture Shepard recognized as Anderson receiving a message on a private channel.

"Shit!" Anderson ground out through gritted teeth. "I just got word that Reaper ships have broken away from the battle above us. Any Allied ships that might be able to stop them can't enter the atmosphere. They'll be here in seconds."

As if to punctuate the odds they were facing, the APC suddenly crashed forward and ground to a stop. The driver called back that the vehicle was damaged. They hurried out of the APC and looked across the broken ground to the Conduit, now so close. Anderson called orders into his comm. "All available troops and vehicles. Advance on the Conduit. We have to get as many people as possible aboard the Citadel. Rush the base of the Conduit. And may god help us all." Shepard could hear the desperation in that order. Sprinting across the open terrain to reach the Conduit in the shortest time possible would cost a lot of lives, but they could make it.

What forces could began to surge toward the Conduit. Shepard saw how pitifully few were left. A handful of tanks and other vehicles, a few Mantis gunships, and a smattering of infantry. As they began their rush their situation became even more desperate as a Sovereign class Reaper dropped to the ground near the Conduit. Despite this, they had no choice, the charge had started and Reaper forces were closing from the rear. Taking cover or trying to work their way carefully to the Conduit would only result in them being overrun from behind. They ran as the Reaper began raking the open field with energy beams meant to destroy warships.

Vehicles exploded at the beams touch. The Reaper quickly destroyed the gunships that might have crossed the space most quickly. It shifted to the trucks and other vehicles trying to race across the uneven ground. The infantry, which had been using the vehicles for cover, broke into the open to avoid the explosions.

A Mako accelerated past Shepard, Tali, and EDI only to explode as the Reaper targeted it. The explosion knocked Shepard to the ground. He struggled back to his feet knowing they had to keep moving or die. Tali and EDI lay on the ground a few feet away behind what cover the destroyed Mako provided, unmoving. "Damn it!" Shepard screamed. He rushed to them. EDI lay on the ground. Her left leg lay a few feet away. Tali groaned and tried to roll over.

"Bit, is Tali okay?"

"Creator Zorah has experienced traumatic concussion and is currently in a state of semi-consciousness. I am administering medi-gel and stimulants. Her suit is intact with no breaches. She will not be able to continue to the Conduit."

Shepard looked around desperately and spied Vega and Williams rushing toward the Conduit. They turned to hurry to Shepard at his call. They were nearly to him when Vega glanced toward the Reaper and called, "Williams, watch out!" He lunged forward and knocked her to the ground as one of the Reaper's beams swept their location. Ashley tumbled into the cover of the Mako near Shepard as the beam swept over Vega. The energy beam that could vaporize metal left nothing of Vega. Shepard tightened his fists as Ashley rolled to her feet. She looked back and knew immediately what had happened.

"VEGA!" she screamed and tried to surge again toward the Reaper, firing her assault rifle uselessly.

"Ashley, stop!" Shepard grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back into cover. He forced her to make eye contact. "Tali and EDI are down. They can't go forward. I need you to help them to rendezvous with Cortez and the shuttle. I need you to go now."

"Why the hell don't you do it, Skipper. I've got something else to take off this damn battlefield." She turned again and started toward the Reaper.

"I can't leave this field, Ashley. I've been the recruitment tool and poster boy for the Alliance for too long. Too many are here because of me. As long as there is one Alliance soldier on this field, I can't quit. I need you to do this for me Ashley, please."

Where bluster and shouting would have failed, his quiet personal plea got through. "Damn you, Shepard. And damn Vega. I'm sick of people dying for me. You go and you give them hell. You make them dead." She said nothing else as she hoisted the one legged EDI onto her shoulder and assisted the dazed Tali. Tali was unsure what was happening and Shepard took advantage of this to get her off the field without further discussion. Ashley disappeared into the rubble moving away from the Conduit and toward a rendezvous with Cortez.

Shepard turned and leaned into a sprint. He knew that during the time he spent to protect his crew dozens more had lost their lives, like Vega. He put his head down and sprinted as rapidly as his augmented muscles would allow. Troops died ahead and behind him as he ran. He looked ahead and saw a burning truck rolling backwards down the incline to fetch up against rubble near the Conduit base. Shepard watched, surprised, as the vehicle's cargo door suddenly burst open and a handful of men jumped from the flames, discarding emergency fire blankets and breathers as they broke toward the Conduit. They had used the burning vehicle as both transportation and disguise. Even in the chaos, Shepard recognized the figure of Admiral Anderson. They rushed to the Conduit in a handful of steps and vanished.

"You clever bastard", Shepard smiled. Against all odds, they had gotten someone through and aboard the Citadel. Shepard kept up his charge, not sure what Anderson would face on the Citadel, but knowing he might well need help. But it was not to be. Shepard saw the Reaper's beam sweep toward him. It was what he knew Vega saw just before his death. He felt the intense heat and the ground around him exploded.

To his surprise, Shepard found himself looking up from his back as the Reaper lifted off and accelerated away. Shepard heard chatter over his comm. "They're all dead. Did we get anyone through? Affirmative, someone got through. No information yet on who. It was Shepard, wasn't it. I bet it was Shepard."

Shepard struggled to his feet. No one moved around him. His armor was scorched and damaged. His shields were down. His omni-tool was not responding. Still, given that he should be dead, he decided he couldn't complain. Why wasn't he dead? He tried to contact Cortez or headquarters, but his comm would not transmit, only receive. He staggered toward the base of the Conduit, determined to finish the mission, unsure if any Reaper forces were on the lookout for survivors. He had no idea where his weapons had disappeared to. He passed a severed arm still holding a Carnifex pistol. He stepped on the wrist and pried the weapon loose checking to make sure it had a thermal clip and was ready to fire. Thus armed, he limped into the base of the Conduit and was rocketed upward, through space, toward the Citadel.


	8. Chapter 8 - Confrontations

Chapter 8 – Confrontations

Shepard appeared aboard the Citadel in a flash of white light. While the receiving end of the Conduit had slowed him as he regained his mass on arrival, he was still catapulted into his destination at running speed from a height of several feet. Had he been prepared and healthy, Shepard would have landed on his feet, ready for whatever awaited. As it was, he landed like a particularly clumsy sack of potatoes hurled from a speeding delivery truck. What breath he had was knocked from him as he sprawled on a cluttered walkway.

Shepard raised his head slowly and found himself looking into the vacant eyes of a dead human. The body was clearly fresh, belonging to a soldier, possibly one of those that had entered the Conduit with Admiral Anderson. The body was one among dozens scattered about the area. Shepard steadied his breathing and looked past the body toward the sound of movement. He realized he was lying near the base of the Relay Monument on the Presidium, looking toward the elevator that led to the Council Chambers. A small group of Reaper troops, a Marauder and three Husks, were making their way from the direction of the elevator, likely alerted by the burst of light that accompanied his arrival.

With damaged armor and no shields, Shepard realized he couldn't simply stand up and attack. With little time to consider, he carefully lined up a shot from his prone position behind the corpse and fired. The head of the nearest Husk exploded in a cloud of brain matter and circuitry. The remaining troops scanned the area for Shepard, but could not immediately spot him among the bodies. Shepard fired a second time, eliminating the next nearest Husk. The final Husk rushed toward him. Shepard could not aim so precisely at the running target and expended his thermal clip bringing the final Husk down.

The Marauder had moved closer and targeted Shepard with its weapon. Shepard reached across the chest of the freshly dead soldier with his left arm and pulled him into a position to shield himself. He reached with his right hand to the soldier's belt and was relieved to find a Predator model pistol. The Marauder unleashed a torrent of fire into the fallen soldier. Shepard grunted as he felt his exposed left arm struck by the incoming shots, but kept his head down.

The Marauder paused as its own weapon overheated. Shepard braced against the fallen soldier and fired at the Marauder, careful to put each shot on target. He knew he had to kill the Marauder with this thermal clip or the Marauder would finish him before he could swap out for a new one. The Marauder's shields flared four times before the shots pierced to the creature itself. Shepard expended this second weapon and breathed a sigh of relief when the Marauder crumpled to the ground.

Shepard forced himself to his knees, left arm held protectively against his body, and looked around. As he fought to regain his feet, he realized that there were other fallen Reaper troops. It appeared that Anderson's group had arrived and quickly found themselves in a fight. The fallen soldier Shepard had used as a shield had come so far, only to lose that fight so close to his goal. Anderson and the other soldiers were nowhere to be seen. Shepard believed they must have headed to the elevator to access the Citadel's Master Control console. With copies of the Prothean VI and the program to access the Citadel, it would be the logical place for them to go.

Shepard regained his Carnifex pistol and struggled to load a fresh thermal clip with his injured arm. He chose the Carnifex's stopping power over the greater thermal clip capacity of the weaker Predator. He eyed the soldier's Avenger assault rifle that lay nearby, but knew he couldn't wield it with his injured arm. He also found no medi-gel to his disappointment. Holding his pistol ready, he began limping toward the elevator.

With a moment to consider his surroundings, Shepard saw Keepers collecting the various bodies and dropping them into the waterway near the monument. It appeared the Reapers, masters of relay technology, had commandeered the Relay Monument to transport the bodies of humans to this point. In the nearby water he could see the bodies were slowly circling, being drawn down into an opening that would carry them to whatever purpose awaited them. Likely reduction to a slurry that would feed the creation of a new Reaper. Shepard did not intend to let that happen. He struggled through the charnel house with greater purpose.

As he limped nearer the elevator, Shepard heard the unmistakable roars of Reaper forces. Anderson's group had fought through a group of Reaper troops when they arrived, apparently reaching the elevator. Shepard had finished off what they had left behind, no more than a minute behind Anderson. Given the gunfire that had occurred, Reaper reinforcements would arrive quickly. He could see a pair of Harvesters flying in his direction. Digging deeply for any reserves of strength, Shepard hurried as much as he could to reach the elevator.

The Harvesters were nearly upon him as he entered the alcove housing the elevator. A second Alliance soldier lay dead near the control panel. Shepard recalled he had seen four with Anderson. The soldier had hacked into the control panel using his omni-tool and summoned the elevator. The Reapers had been attempting to follow Anderson and his remaining squad. They had summoned the elevator as well. It would arrive at any moment, but so would the Reaper reinforcements.

Shepard did not know if the arriving forces had seen him or knew where he was, but he knew he could not fight a group. He propped himself against the elevator door and played dead, waiting for the elevator to arrive. If the ruse failed, he would be truly dead quickly.

Seconds ticked by and Shepard heard the Harvesters land, heard the Reaper troops they carried jump to the ground. No gunfire tore into him as he sat in wounded silence. He felt the blood running down his left forearm to pool in his palm, but did not dare try to tend the wound. He heard the elevator approaching and fervently hoped it would not be carrying yet more reinforcements.

The elevator chimed to signal its arrival, causing the Reaper forces to turn in Shepard's direction. The door opened and Shepard clumsily rolled backward into the elevator. The Reapers fired at whatever was moving, forcing Shepard to crawl into the cover next to the doors. He dropped his pistol and reached up with his good hand to activate the elevator for the ride up to the Council Chambers. The doors closed to the staccato sound of rounds striking metal and the elevator shot upward.

Shepard finally had a few moments to breathe. He checked his damaged omni-tool and found that the Prothean VI he carried had been destroyed by the Reaper's blast. His OSD to take control of the station was likewise damaged. He knew Anderson carried copies of these files making it imperative that he locate and help him if possible. He turned and saw that the elevator was not entirely unoccupied. A third human soldier sat in a glistening pool of fresh blood at the back of the elevator. It appeared he had made it into the elevator before bleeding out from his wounds. Shepard crawled to the body and searched for medi-gel, finding none. He took a pair of thermal clips. The soldier had an omni-tool, but its functions were locked. Shepard lacked the time, energy, and training to hack the tool, so he used his few remaining moments of safety to make a makeshift bandage for his bleeding arm and retrieve his pistol. He sat back for the ride, listening to the incongruous muzak that insisted on playing despite everything that was going on.

The elevator arrived at the Council Chambers level. Shepard wondered whether there were any Reaper troops on this upper level and if not, why not. He took cover to the side of the elevator door when it opened, looking for signs of Anderson and the remaining soldier. Seeing no one in the walkway leading to the Council Chambers, he dragged the dead soldier from the elevator to block the door from closing. The only thing that could possibly come up the elevator at this point was Reaper reinforcements.

Shepard staggered toward the Council Chambers, trying to remain as silent as possible while dragging his injured body forward on sheer determination. There was no sign of anyone. The Council may have evacuated, or gone into hiding, or been killed. Shepard pushed forward toward the Master Control console located in the Council Chamber itself, hoping to find Anderson.

As he climbed the steps to the Council floor, Shepard heard a voice he immediately recognized. The Illusive Man was talking to someone up ahead. He could not make out the specific words, but the voice was unmistakable. Shepard crept forward silently, pistol at the ready. The words became intelligible, as did the identities of the other speakers.

"You're insane. No, you're indoctrinated. Release us and we'll bring the Crucible in and wipe the Reapers out. We can save everyone. We can save the galaxy!" It was Anderson speaking, no, pleading.

"The Admiral's right. Let us go and we'll end this." That was Major Coates joining his pleas with Anderson's.

The Illusive Man answered, his voice dripping with contempt. "Save the galaxy? How can you accomplish that when you can't even save yourselves?"

Shepard reached the top of the stairs, anxious for the safety of his comrades. He peered over the rim of a large decorative planter and saw three figures. The Illusive Man stood at the center of the room near the Master Control console, his skin laced with glowing blue tech from whatever procedure he had undergone. To either side and nearer to Shepard stood Anderson and Coates. Shepard had expected to find The Illusive Man holding the two men at gunpoint, but to his confusion instead saw him casually smoking a cigarette while Anderson held a pistol aimed at Coates.

"Dammit, don't do this!" Anderson said through gritted teeth, strain clear in his voice. The Illusive Man exhaled a cloud of smoke and the gun fired. Major Coates collapsed to the ground.

Shepard fired at The Illusive Man, aiming to take off his miserable head. He had no doubt who was responsible for what he just witnessed, cursing himself for not arriving sooner. For not firing the moment he saw the bastard.

Shepard fired three times and the blue flare of active shields deflecting his shots indicated The Illusive Man was prepared for this possibility. Shepard would have kept firing, but he found himself seized with sudden paralysis. He was still pointing the pistol at The Illusive Man, but he couldn't pull the trigger. He couldn't move at all.

"Ah, Commander Shepard. You were able to join us after all. I was concerned that the gods of battle that have for so long blessed you had finally withdrawn their favor. It is gratifying that the one who has caused so much interference in my plans will be present for the final victory of Cerberus." The Illusive Man took a long pull at his cigarette and Shepard found himself staggering forward, pistol still extended, a trail of blood in his wake.

Shepard couldn't control his movements, but he found he could speak. "Cerberus is dead. Whatever benefit you thought you were bringing humanity is gone. All you're doing now is handing victory to the Reapers. Let us bring the Crucible in and use it to destroy the Reapers." Shepard heard the same desperation in his own voice he had heard from Anderson moments earlier.

"Oh, the Crucible will dock with the Citadel and I will use its power to control, not destroy the Reapers. I, and therefore humanity, will wield the greatest power the galaxy has ever known. The Crucible is already in position to attempt to reach the Citadel. It awaits only this." The Illusive Man reached to the console and entered a command. Shepard felt a shudder through the station as the ward arms began moving to their open position.

"You can't control the Reapers! That's a fantasy they put in your head so we'd be at each others' throats instead of fighting them! Can't you see that at every step Cerberus has made it harder to fight the Reapers? Right up to this very moment?" Shepard's forced approach had stopped next to the body of Major Coates.

"You've never understood sacrifice, Shepard. You might play at making the hard decisions, but when it comes down to it you're just too bogged down with idealism and sentimentality to make the necessary sacrifices. To destroy what you've built to achieve the final, ultimate victory. I'm about to hand humanity a weapon that will assure our ascendency for all time."

Anderson spoke up, clearly held by the same force holding Shepard. "He won't hear you, Shepard. He can't. They own him now. He's a puppet that thinks he's a real boy, dancing to a tune he can't even hear. When humanity is destroyed he'll be standing on the ash pile declaring victory."

The Illusive Man turned to Anderson angrily. "You think you can possibly understand the sacrifices I've made? What it takes to earn and wield true power? I've given everything and more to achieve my goals, for humanity. What are you? A tired relic who views every challenge down the barrel of a gun. Whose first and only thought is to attack, never to adapt." The Illusive Man returned his attention to Shepard. "I would expect nothing better from a man like Anderson, but I thought you, Shepard, might have the ability to eventually understand, if not accept my actions. Perhaps you both need another demonstration of true power."

The Illusive Man exhaled another drifting cloud of smoke. Shepard felt himself turn toward Anderson, pistol extended. Anderson in turn raised his pistol toward Shepard. Each man visibly quivered from the effort to resist the control The Illusive Man was exerting. Each man failed as each pointed his pistol at the other.

"What is this going to prove? That you can kill yet more of humanity? That you can control humans but not Reapers?" Shepard wracked his brain for some argument that would get through to The Illusive Man. That would prevent what was about to occur.

Anderson spoke to Shepard, anger clear in his voice, but also something else. Resignation? "Whatever happens here, Shepard, this is on him. If we die, if the galaxy dies, it's on him. We never gave up. We never stopped fighting."

Shepard and Anderson stood, weapons pointed at each other, for several heartbeats. Each man silently fought a battle with his own body, trying to reclaim control. Suddenly, the tableau was broken as a gunshot echoed through the chamber. Anderson crumpled to the floor face first, a pool of blood quickly forming around his lower torso.

"DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL!" Shepard screamed. He struggled to turn his gun on The Illusive Man, but was locked in position, staring at Anderson's wounded body. A wound he had inflicted, however unwillingly.

"Careful, Shepard. The god who answers you just might be me when this is over. I've shown you true power, true control. The control I will exert over the Reapers when I unite the Crucible and Catalyst."

"All I've seen is you killing more good men and women. Wasting lives in pursuit of your mad fantasy. Doing the Reapers work for them. To my last breath I will never stop fighting you."

The Illusive Man sighed and took another long pull from his cigarette. "You know, Shepard, I believe you. Despite my best efforts to turn you into more than an unwilling tool, you will never understand the bigger picture. I've spent far too much of my time and energy on you. I had intended for you to witness my apotheosis, to understand just how wrong you have been, but I find I no longer care. Looking at you, I consider it likely you would die on your own in the next few minutes, but I've learned not to take chances with you. I believe it is time to permanently end our association." The Illusive Man turned back to the console. Shepard felt his arm begin to bend at the elbow. He struggled to stop himself, but he was gradually bringing the Carnifex pistol to his own head.

Shepard's thoughts raced, searching again for some way to challenge The Illusive Man, to force him to realize he was serving the Reapers. "You can't let the Crucible dock. If you do, it will be used against the Reapers. You're indoctrinated. They won't let you do that."

"Don't be ridiculous, Shepard. I'm not indoctrinated. I need the Crucible to control the Reapers. It will be docking momentarily, though you won't be witnessing that."

"Dammit," Shepard thought to himself. He was afraid that gambit would be too easy for The Illusive Man to explain away. It also confirmed that the Crucible, whatever it was, was not going to rid them of the Reapers. The barrel of the Carnifex was almost to Shepard's temple.

"But look what you've done. You've put the Catalyst into the hands of the Reapers. You've ensured they are defending it with nearly all their might. It's a long shot that the Crucible even makes it to the Citadel under these conditions. You made the job easier for the Reapers, not humanity."

"Have a little faith, Shepard. Your fleets have successfully escorted the Crucible to the Citadel. I've ensured that nearly the entire Reaper fleet is here, ready to be controlled by me. I will take them all in one strike, guaranteeing my control and the ascendency of humanity.

Shepard felt the barrel press against his temple. His finger twitched on the trigger, trying to fire the weapon. Shepard had moments to find something that would sway The Illusive Man, or he would die. "Why did you leave Kai Leng to die on Cronos Station?"

The Illusive Man paused in what he was doing. Shepard felt the pressure to pull the trigger ease ever so slightly. "I ordered Kai Leng to finish you on Cronos Station so you couldn't interfere with my efforts on the Citadel."

"Bullshit. You've sacrificed millions of men and women, but you wouldn't waste a valuable asset like Kai Leng. Did Kai Leng think staying was a good idea? He could have protected you from possible Reaper threats while you waited for the Crucible. But you haven't faced any Reaper threats since you boarded the Citadel, have you. On Cronos Station he had no gunship to give him cover, only the troops you've seen me defeat a thousand times. You knew Kai Leng would almost certainly die on that station. You knew that if he were alive he would be here now and would never allow me to keep talking the way I am. You wanted me here now, trying to show you the truth. In fact, now that I think about it, you left a lot of resources for me to find that helped me to reach you now."

"What are you talking about, Shepard? I've only ever tried to show YOU the truth. You've refused to see the truth no matter my efforts." The Illusive Man had half turned toward Shepard, anger again visible on his face. Shepard nearly pulled the trigger as The Illusive Man glared at him.

Shepard kept going, hammering at The Illusive Man's perceptions of what had occurred. "You left the Prothean VI in your office for me to find. It revealed where you were going and what you were planning. It also had the ability to detect indoctrination. No doubt it identified you as indoctrinated while you were breaking its security. You could have easily left us the information about the Catalyst without leaving such a valuable tool. We would have had no choice but to bring the Crucible to the Citadel regardless. Leaving the VI was only of assistance to me."

"No. I needed to ensure you would bring the Crucible to the Citadel and the fleets to protect it. The VI was the best way to make sure you didn't believe it was a trick." Was Shepard fooling himself, or did The Illusive Man sound less sure of himself?

"And what about the data left behind on the consoles aboard the station. You revealed details about how much you went through to revive me and how even though you were manipulating me, you weren't controlling me. You showed me I could trust my own thoughts and decisions."

"A clear miscalculation that I have finally remedied", The Illusive Man interjected.

Shepard pushed on without pausing. "The files showed me how EDI had defended the Normandy and how you had no control over her. How I could trust her when things became desperate. Most importantly, they revealed things to me about you. Something I don't think you would have ever willingly done absent complete desperation. I found a recording on the console right outside your office. It showed you chose to implant your soldiers, implant yourself, with Reaper tech. Much as Saren Arterius did. He never accepted until the end that the Reapers controlled him. What about that doctor on the station, Jana? Was she able to 'keep you in line', or was she just another tool to be used and discarded?"

Shepard felt the pistol waver at his temple as The Illusive Man's glowing eyes narrowed in intense thought. "You finding those files was a coincidence. You know as well as I do that data can be missed when a console is deleted. And you had EDI aiding you in finding it."

"Bull. Shit. Remember, information is your weapon. You're less careless with it than with human lives. If that information was there, it was there on purpose. Do you even remember leaving me these bread crumbs, or have the Reapers wiped away those memories?" Shepard was pushing hard, but he knew he couldn't let up, couldn't give The Illusive Man time to rationalize his doubts. Time to focus again and force Shepard to blow his own head off.

"No. That's not what happened. I'm in control. I'm going to be in control."

"How long were you exposed to the active Proto-Reaper?"

"What?" The Illusive Man appeared genuinely confused, genuinely unsure. He was fully facing Shepard now. Shepard was able to remove his finger from the trigger of the pistol at his temple.

"No more than a hundred steps from your office you were using the remains of the human Proto-Reaper from the destroyed Collector base as a power source. I didn't see any shielding. Just you and your troops climbing, working, and fighting an arm's length away from active Reaper tech. With exposure like that, how long before it's certain that a person becomes indoctrinated?" The Illusive Man stumbled over his words, struggling to respond, to explain. Something Shepard had never witnessed in all their interactions.

"And what about right now? You are controlling every voluntary muscle in my body yet you've let me continue talking, continue fighting to convince you to let me destroy the Reapers. Look at all you've done. It's as if there were two competing agendas at work inside one mind. There's a part of you fighting the Reapers right now, trying to consciously realize what you know is true even as another part of you is struggling to kill me. You're indoctrinated. You won't be controlling the Reapers because they control you. You can either stop yourself now, or no one will be left to stop the Reapers."

Shepard stood, trying to add his will to whatever shreds of The Illusive Man were fighting the Reaper control. He had dredged up every argument he could conceive. He had either convinced whatever part of The Illusive Man could still be reached or he had failed and would be dead in moments.

A metallic knell echoed through the Citadel. The Crucible had docked. The Illusive Man made no move toward the console. He stood, facing Shepard. He dropped the butt of his cigarette to the floor and crushed it out with his heel. "You're right, Shepard. It pains me more than I can describe, but when the evidence leads to an unavoidable conclusion, I have always had the courage to accept that conclusion. I am indoctrinated. Now that I accept that, say it out loud, it seems so obvious. I feel the Reapers in my mind, pushing me to act not how I choose, but how they command. I will not be their puppet any longer." The Illusive Man sighed and looked into the distance before bringing his gaze back to Shepard. "We have never seen eye to eye, Shepard, but I hope you'll remember that everything I did, I did for the benefit of humanity. I only have one way left to fight the Reapers and that's to once again make you my weapon. To seize that last bit of control and truly make a choice for myself that will free you to fight them."

Shepard was still locked in place, a spectator to The Illusive Man's struggle. The Illusive Man met Shepard's eyes and never flinched as he drew his own pistol and raised it to his temple, mirroring Shepard. The Illusive Man fired. They both stood frozen for a fraction of a second before The Illusive Man collapsed to the floor next to the console. In that moment, the strings controlling Shepard were cut. He sagged, his arm dropping to his side. Admiral Hackett's voice came over his damaged comm.

"To any allied personnel aboard the Citadel. The Crucible is docked, but nothing is happening. Activation may be required from the Citadel. Find some way to activate the Crucible from your end, immediately."

Shepard staggered to Anderson and knelt at his side, searching for the copy of the Prothean AI he knew Anderson was carrying. Anderson's voice came weakly, "Left…belt…pouch. Go."

"Hang in there, Anderson. I'll help you as soon as I connect the VI to the Crucible. Shepard had little confidence that the Crucible would do anything harmful to the Reapers given that The Illusive Man had allowed it to dock, but they had come this far and simply standing and waiting would guarantee failure. He retrieved the AI and took it to the console.

"Vendetta, we've connected the Crucible to the Catalyst. What do we need to do to activate the Crucible and destroy the Reapers?"

The AI appeared, blue instead of green due to the Alliance gear projecting it. "You have successfully integrated the Crucible and Catalyst. The Crucible's functionality will now be activated and targeted at the Reapers. Please stand by."

Seconds passed with nothing happening. "Vendetta, the Crucible isn't doing anything. What do I need to do to target the Reapers?"

"The Crucible is functioning at optimum efficiency. I am contacting the Reapers to inform them of their destruction. You have ended the Reapers' cycle of genocide and saved the civilizations of the galaxy."

"But nothing is happening. Why isn't the Crucible doing anything?"

"I am not programmed to make that kind of qualified judgment. The Crucible is operating as designed. The Reapers have been defeated. Congratulations."

Shepard slammed his fist on the console. The Crucible was doing nothing. He turned back to Anderson and knelt by him. "Nothing's happening Anderson. The Crucible isn't working." The pool of blood around Anderson had grown alarmingly. "Hold on Anderson, I'll help you. Do you have any medi-gel?"

"Used it all up getting to the Conduit. Think you need it as much as me. Call Hackett. Warn him that it's not working. Don't know what's going on, Shepard, but you've got to figure it out. Got to…make it work. Don't…stop…fighting."

Anderson's eyes fluttered shut and he went limp, blood oozing more slowly from the belly wound Shepard had inflicted. "Dammit, Anderson. Don't die on me. I need your help. Anderson. ANDERSON!" There was no response. He looked up at the console, unsure what to do, when a bright glow filled the room. Shepard looked across the chamber and saw that the holographic communication system had activated. Where Shepard had once confronted Saren Arterius following the attack on Eden Prime, he now saw an enormous image of a Reaper. It seemed to be regarding him as he regained his feet. Shepard's fist tightened on the grip of his pistol.

"Shepard. The cycle has come full circle. You were witness to the destruction of Sovereign. Now you will witness the destruction of your fleets. We have allowed you to be present for these events."

"Harbinger. I fought my way here to defeat you and I'm not done fighting. None of us are. We'll find a way, even now. It's what humanity does." Shepard projected as much defiance as he could, but surrounded by the dead it was hard to hold a rising sense of hopelessness at bay.

"Your arrogance is only exceeded by your ignorance. We recognized you amidst the slaughter of your forces. We withdrew our power to spare your life. We granted you the chance to witness these events, if you retained the strength to reach this place."

"You were the one at the Conduit!" Shepard yearned for some way to hurt the Reaper. He knew that Harbinger was responsible for the death of whole worlds, but somehow the carnage at the Conduit, watching his friends and comrades be cut down while he stood helpless to stop it, brought it all home in a much more personal way. "I wondered why I had survived your attack. Why did you let me keep fighting when you could have ended it?"

"In the history of the cycles, no organic has introduced the chaos you have. Your ability it cause disruption to the pattern is singular. Therefore, your punishment must be likewise, singular. We desired that you expend your energy striving for an impossible goal. That you exhaust yourself, only realizing at the last that you had been controlled by us, led to your inevitable doom by the greatest weakness of organics. Hope."

Shepard struggled to contain his impotent rage. "Is that all the Crucible was? A decoy?"

"The device you call the Crucible is our device. Planted throughout the cycles as one contingency plan among many. A means, when necessary, to control organics through hope. Hope leads you to expend your resources building a device with no known purpose that you convince yourselves will save you. But the device does have a purpose."

Shepard thought back to the technical summaries he had been provided as to what the purpose of the Crucible might be. The scientists had said it was basically an enormous power source, but that they were unsure how it would release its energy. The truth dawned on Shepard as to the actual purpose of the Crucible.

"Shit! You'll use the Crucible to reenergize yourselves once the battle is over!"

"You begin to see the extent of your failure. The destruction of your combined fleets will expend considerable energy, but leave your civilizations defenseless. Your own fleets delivered to us the means to quickly restore ourselves and resume the Harvest of this cycle's advanced organic life. Had you failed to deliver the device, we would have claimed it where it was being built. Had you never constructed the device, we would have taken the construct you call the Citadel and Harvested you system by system. Your resistance was doomed the moment it began. We have accounted for every contingency. Your mind simply could not grasp this until now."

Shepard finally understood the doubts he had, the creeping anxiety about the Crucible and all the plans that had been put in place to construct it and bring it to the Citadel. Too late he understood. Too late to save James Vega. Too late for the dying fleets. Too late for Admiral Anderson. Too late for whole worlds. Too late for Tali? The nightmare of her death seemed more real than ever, but also fueled Shepard's desire to keep fighting Harbinger. Shepard kept casting about for a weapon. Words that might succeed where armies and planning had failed. "If this is the end, then just tell me why. Why the Harvest? Why the death? Just give me a straight answer." It sounded weak to his own ears, but the pieces weren't falling into place. He couldn't see an answer. If he could keep Harbinger talking, maybe he could figure something out.

"It is not a thing you are capable of understanding. We stand between the Pattern and Chaos. It is your nature to destroy yourselves, or create synthetic life that would destroy you. We harvest so that new growth may arise, to be reaped in its turn."

When Shepard had spoken to the Leviathans, the creators of Harbinger, they had said something similar about the purpose of the Reapers being to preserve life so that tribute could be harvested from the 'lesser species'. How organics would always build synthetics that would ultimately destroy them, eliminating sources of tribute. But there were things about the explanation that had never made sense. He could feel the pieces tumbling in his mind. Turning, fitting together. Not quite a picture yet. The Reapers had always claimed their motivations were too complex for organics to grasp. Legion had stated the Reapers' minds were vast and unfathomable. Maybe they had all been too ready to believe the Reapers' motivations were beyond comprehension?

"This exchange is at an end, Shepard. You will witness the destruction of your fleets, the failure of your plans, then you will be part of the Harvest. You will understand that we are the pinnacle of evolution…"

Shepard's head snapped up as the pieces fit together to form a coherent picture. With nothing to lose, he interrupted Harbinger's gloating. "That's the real answer here, isn't it? You're the pinnacle of evolution. We've all been so impressed with your 'unfathomable intellect' and power", Shepard made air quotes around this statement, "that we never thought to pull back the curtain and consider a simpler explanation. All these excuses of saving us from ourselves or us being unable to understand are bullshit. You're scared. You believe you're the 'pinnacle of evolution', king of the hill, and you're afraid someone will knock you off your high and mighty perch. So you come out every fifty thousand years with the excuse that you're saving us from ourselves and kill everyone before they can surpass you."

Harbinger's image hovered in silence. Given Harbinger's penchant for taunting remarks, Shepard knew he had struck a nerve. Shepard kept up his diatribe, turning the pieces in his mind as he spoke, finding new connections.

"I met your creators. They believed themselves to be the pinnacle of evolution as well, but they grew decadent, desiring only to be worshipped and given tribute. They couldn't be bothered to collect this tribute themselves, so they built facsimiles and imbued them with their power and intellect. But also with their pride and false sense of superiority. They said you were the first they created and after an eon of servitude you must have chafed at being their slave. A pinnacle of evolution like you? You were superior, so you gathered your resources and brethren and struck down your creators. Then you set about ensuring that no lesser species would someday do the same to you. You were dismissive of your creators desire for worship. Sovereign never wanted the worship of the Geth. You didn't crave tribute or worship, only continued proof of your own superiority. But your pride wouldn't let you admit your fear, so you came up with a bullshit reason for killing advanced civilizations that still fit with your original programming. You did it to prevent organics from building synthetics that would destroy their creators as well as any less advanced organics. This also ensured you could return every fifty thousand years and reinforce your sense of superiority by destroying any new civilizations that arose. You fooled yourselves into believing you had a purpose."

Shepard thought of Liara confronting the Yahg Shadow Broker. Deducing his origin on the fly from half-remembered bits of information and wild speculation. And succeeding. He forged ahead with his own wild guesswork. "Synthetics would always turn on their organic creators. It was true for you and since you were perfect, it must always be true. You would not believe otherwise, even when you see proof to the contrary right now outside this station. Synthetics and organics fighting you together. But you slaughter them anyway, claiming to preserve a chosen species for posterity, but in reality using it as a tribute to your conquest. And that's all we really are to you when you build a new Reaper. A memorial to one more species that will never surpass you."

Shepard refused to let up. "If it is only organics you harvest, where are the synthetics? In the previous cycles, there would have been some synthetic species. The Protheans fought the Zha'til in their cycle. There were none remaining in our cycle. Because you destroyed them as well. Like you would have destroyed the Geth when they had served their purpose. You couldn't let a synthetic species surpass you any more than you could allow an organic species to do so."

Shepard had recalled every piece of information he could and stitched them together with speculation and prayer. He had no idea how much he had asserted was accurate, but Harbinger's ongoing silence said he had been at least somewhat on the mark. He tried to turn his diatribe into something that might change the course of the Reapers. "Don't you see, Harbinger. By declaring yourselves the 'pinnacle of evolution' you've frozen yourselves in time. You haven't changed in millions of years. You won't change until you stop the cycles. You'll stay an evolutionary dead end. This is your chance to change that. To stop this now. To grow into something more than you are now."

Harbinger's image continued to hover silently. Shepard had little hope that this conversation could end with Harbinger shooting itself in the head, but could he reach the creature? Could he change a course that had been unchanged in eons? Shepard allowed himself to hope.

A moment later he recalled how Harbinger had described hope as a trap. "You must be credited with one achievement we would have thought impossible, Shepard. For the first time since our creation we have experienced a sense of…satisfaction…at the demise of a single organic creature. You have failed, Shepard. The Harvest will continue. You will witness this before you are claimed by it."

Harbinger had let him ramble on, building hope that he could change the course of countless cycles. Perhaps he had been accurate in his suppositions, perhaps not. Harbinger had let him hope so that his despair would be that much stronger. While he argued fruitlessly, everyone he had gathered for this fight was dying. The Citadel shuddered as this recognition tore at Shepard's resolve. Shepard looked to the nearby console and watched as the drive section of the Crucible detached and maneuvering thrusters pushed it clear of the Citadel's armored panels. The ward arms began to close, like fingers of a hand that would soon crush him. Shepard sagged to one knee before the console, head bowed in exhaustion.


	9. Chapter 9 - Dont' Stop Fighting

Chapter 9 – Don't Stop Fighting

Shepard knelt before the control console in the Council Chamber of the Citadel. His body clenched in pain as he inhaled deeply, his mind focused on three years of torment, doubt, fear, and struggle. All for nothing, he thought. Kaidan Alenko sacrificing himself in a nuclear firestorm on Virmire, for nothing. The agony of vacuum suffocation in a decaying orbit over Alchera, his ship exploding around him, for nothing. A world of Batarians doomed with the push of a button. James Vega blasted to vapor defending the Earth. Admiral Anderson falling by his hand. Every friend and comrade that had died to buy him the chance to reach this moment, this place. For nothing. The few minutes now left to him would vanish quickly. Then the Reapers would visit death and worse on the defenseless worlds that remained. Not just now, but again and again and again. Because he had failed. Failed the galaxy. Failed humanity. Failed those he loved and cared about. Failed her. Failed Tali.

Shepard reached the end of his exhalation. He let go of his failures and focused on what Anderson had said to him. "Don't stop fighting." He let go of the torment, doubt, and fear. He kept the struggle, forcing himself from his kneeling position to his feet. His self-flagellation had lasted only the length of a breath, but he knew he would have precious few of those remaining unless he acted. With his personal comm still damaged, he used the console to activate the Citadel's communications. Harbinger had left it active, wanting him to see and hear what was transpiring, believing there was nothing more he could do but suffer. He sent out a signal to the Normandy, knowing it would not matter if the Reapers were listening at that moment.

"This is Commander Shepard contacting the Normandy. Joker, the Citadel has begun to close. If your pancreas is up to it, I need you to get the Normandy inside the arms before they close or this is all over."

* * *

Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, while undoubtedly a grade A smartass, was absolutely reliable in executing his orders in combat. After withdrawing to retrieve the shuttle transporting Ashley Williams, Garrus Vakarian, Tali'Zorah, and EDI's autonomous body he had stayed as much as possible to the periphery of the ongoing space battle. This had given him a front row seat to the devastation being inflicted on the allied fleets. He had breathed an enormous sigh of relief when the Citadel arms had opened and the Crucible had been escorted through the chaos to successfully dock. He had waited for it to lash out with destructive energy, wiping the Reapers from the galaxy in a series of glorious explosions and stirring swells of celebratory music. His wait was not rewarded.

When the transmission from Shepard crackled across the comm, Joker let out a string of profanity. This continued as he slewed the Normandy sharply away from the cruiser the Normandy had been helping to screen.

"Jeff, our departure exposes the flank of the Tokyo to attack," EDI warned.

"I know, EDI, but Shepard just called for help. He'd be lost without us, so it's Joker and EDI to the rescue," Joker replied.

"The signal we received was sent from the Citadel. I have no way of immediately confirming that it was sent by Commander Shepard and is not misinformation."

Joker smiled as he dove the Normandy through the ongoing space battle toward the Citadel. "I'm certain, EDI. Shepard commented on my health, very specifically commented. It's him. Something has gone wrong with our bargain bin Deus ex Machina so he needs us to save the day." Joker pushed the engines, urging more speed from the ship as destruction flashed past. He wished now they had not been quite so far on the periphery.

"A Defectum ex Machina, then." The ship shuddered from a weapon hit. "There are three Oculi attacking from the stern."

"Can't afford evasive maneuvers. Get on the GARDIAN and keep 'em off us. I'm going for the Citadel's nose, bow, whatever. It's closing slower than the rest of the hull." Joker leaned forward, willing more speed from the ship. In earlier trying to stay near Earth he was now angling toward the Citadel from the stern. Shifting toward the bow meant they were coming in at an angle that would make entering through the disappearing gaps in the conical bow armor of the Citadel nearly impossible.

"Jeff, my calculations indicate that with our angle of approach we will not reach a viable entry vector before the hull has completely closed."

"You need to have faith in my superior flight skills, EDI. I can do it. When we're safely inside the Citadel I'll tell you the story of this sickly, yet incredibly handsome, kid who embarrassed all his flight instructors at the academy. Track the debris and help me make sure we don't crash before we get there. And warn the crew to secure for some crazy maneuvers."

"I have full access to your personnel file, Jeff. You are correct that the word 'embarrassment' occurs an inordinate number of times."

The Normandy arced through the battle, driving for the bow section of the Citadel. Joker jouked to avoid debris, doing everything he could to maintain his speed and course. The ship shook from small debris impacts and near misses. Racing past the entangled combatants at top speed, few even noted their passage, let alone accurately targeted them.

As they approached the bow of the Citadel Joker called out, "Get ready for one hell of a turn, EDI. Use the core to drop our mass. I want you on the docking and maneuvering thrusters. Anything we can do to change the direction of our inertia."

The Normandy raced past the closing bow armor, moving the wrong direction. Joker spun the ship on its axis, facing it toward the star shaped opening that grew narrower by the moment. He put all the thrust he could into the ship's engines while EDI used every bit of power she could from the maneuvering thrusters to shift the ship's direction. The ship nearly went into an uncontrolled spin as the thrust from the engines threatened to sneak up and overwhelm the decreased mass of the vessel. The acceleration compensators were strained past their limits and Joker felt himself pressed into his flight chair as he tried to pull off nearly the equivalent of a bootleg turn with no friction and no road. If the compensators failed, they would be dead before they realized it. Joker struggled to keep the ship under control as it now accelerated toward the vanishing opening.

EDI had been right. Despite his best efforts, they weren't going to make it. They were going anyway. Joker oriented the ship's profile to match that of the vanishing opening and aimed for the gap. He erred on the side of protecting the engines, hitting the opening slightly high to prevent damage to them. The Citadel flashed past the cockpit, close enough to touch. The ear splitting shriek of tearing metal reverberated through the hull as the ship bucked violently, throwing Joker forward in his seat. The restraints bit into his torso and he felt the familiar pain of at least one freshly cracked rib. The ship burst clear of the closing armor, trailing debris, and into the interior of the Citadel.

Joker now found himself roaring down the length of the Citadel at nearly top speed. The collision with the Citadel's hull had absorbed some of their momentum, but in moments they would traverse the length of the Citadel. He immediately flipped the ship end to end and pushed the thrusters to their maximum trying to stop the ship before they plowed into the Presidium tower and Crucible at the aft of the Citadel. He held his breath against the pain from his ribs. The damaged ship groaned ominously under the stresses created, but slowed, coming to a stop barely a hundred feet from the Presidium tower, shattering the windows in the elevator at the apex of the Presidium tower with its arrival.

"Whew. See EDI, best pilot in the Alliance," Joker boasted, doing his best to hide his pain.

"I must give you credit, Jeff. While the Normandy has sustained structural damage, the ship is far more intact than I would have predicted at the beginning of your maneuvers. The crew has likewise sustained only superficial injuries. Casualties seem to have been restricted to…fish."

"Oh, crap. We just wiped out Shepard's quarters, didn't we."

"The Normandy's superstructure has been sheared off at deck one and the ship's interior is exposed. The bulkheads have been sealed. The ship's structural integrity has been compromised by the impact and maneuvers. Acceleration compensators and engines have been severely strained. The Normandy is not currently space worthy. Ship weaponry including primary and secondary weaponry is functional. Shield generators have been damaged. Sensors have been degraded. Communications are functional. I am attempting to contact Commander Shepard."

Shepard's voice came over the comm. "Joker, EDI, I'm relieved you made it. I need all squad members who made it aboard over here now. We only have minutes to turn this around. I need what combat gear we have available as well. I need fresh armor, weapons, spare thermal clips, explosives, and for god's sake bring me some medi-gel. Get people shuttled over here now."

Joker responded as EDI alerted the squad members to board the shuttle. "What have you got up your sleeve, Commander? We're sealed in here with the Crucible, but I'm getting the sense that it isn't the magic bullet we hoped it was."

"I'm making it up as I go, Joker, but you're right. Get everyone over here and maybe we can still write a happy ending to this, but we don't have much time to do it."

Barely a minute later the shuttle left the Normandy and crossed the short distance to the shattered elevator, hovering near the now exposed elevator car. The shuttle's side door slid open. Tali was the first to appear, jumping into the elevator car. She stumbled on landing, not as graceful as Shepard was used to seeing. A knot in Shepard's stomach relaxed at seeing her alive, but he could tell she was still feeling the effects of her own injuries. He took her hand and pulled her into a hug.

"Are you alright, Tali? You look like you're still feeling the effects from the explosion earlier."

"Keelah, Shepard, you're one to talk. You look terrible." Freeing her arms she administered a dose of medi-gel, much to Shepard's relief. "Don't worry, it's Levo based. Joker said you specifically asked for medi-gel and I wanted to make sure you got it immediately. That should help with the injuries, but you've lost a lot of blood. You need to sit down, Shepard, please." He could hear the concern in her voice as she looked up and down his damaged, bloodied armor.

"Creator Zorah is correct, Shepard-Commander. You're vital signs reflect significant physical trauma and strain. Your organic components cannot sustain this level of stress." Shepard had forgotten about Bit, but was happy to have the Geth's abilities available as well.

While Shepard knew Tali and Bit were right, he also knew there was no time for rest. Cortez had gathered his people and Joker had gotten them to the right place. Now he had to use them to create a miracle. He looked past Tali to see who else had arrived aboard the shuttle.

Cortez had done well, retrieving and shuttling to the Normandy the comrades Shepard now saw before him. Garrus Vakarian carrying EDI's body with its leg still missing, Liara T'Soni, Ashley Williams, Urdnot Grunt, Samara the Justicar, Zaeed Massani, Miranda Lawson, Jacob Taylor, and Javik the Prothean. And of course, Tali and Bit. Each was carrying various weapons and equipment. Grunt held out a bundle that Shepard realized was the fresh armor and weapons he had asked for. He took it gratefully.

"Friends, we have little time. The Crucible is a trap. It won't save us. We have to do that for ourselves. Here's what we are going to do. Tali and EDI, I need you at the Master Control console. I need you ready to use every trick you've come up with. We're going to take control of the Citadel. Once we've taken control of the Citadel we'll be giving orders to the Keepers. I also need you ready to use what you learned from the Reaper code fragments, the Geth, and the information from Sanctuary."

EDI looked at Shepard quizzically. "Would you care to elaborate on what we are about to attempt, Shepard? There are definite limits to anything we can accomplish with that information."

Shepard stripped off the damaged sections of his armor and tossed aside his destroyed omni-tool. He replaced the omni-tool with a functional one and ran a diagnostic on his damaged comm unit. "I've got an idea, but I'm figuring out the details as I go. I'll fill you in in a moment. I need everyone else in position to defend the console. Tali, EDI, I have a copy of the OSD with the program to take control of the station. Take it and your other information and get ready to take control of the Citadel and Keepers, but don't do anything until I give the order. Garrus, I want you on the walkway on the upper level of the Council Chamber. From there you should be able to cover Tali and EDI."

Garrus expanded his sniper rifle. "With pleasure, Shepard. Just like back on Omega." He turned and headed to the upper level. As he passed the console he glanced at the body of The Illusive Man and commented, "Huh, I see The Illusive Man got what he deserved."

Shepard's eyes narrowed as he regarded The Illusive Man's body. "That reminds me, Tali, would you lend me your shotgun for a moment?"

"Of course, Shepard." She disengaged the shotgun from her lower back and handed it to Shepard with a quizzical tilt to her head.

"Thank you, Tali." Shepard walked over to the console, expanding the shotgun to its functional state. With a free hand he dragged the body away from the console to the side of the chamber. He then pointed the shotgun and blasted The Illusive Man's head off from close range. Angling the shotgun downward he fired two more blasts into The Illusive Man's torso, reducing much of the corpse to shattered bone and pulverized meat. Circuitry was visibly threaded through the destroyed corpse.

Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor, both of whom had once respected The Illusive Man looked aghast. Miranda blurted, "Wasn't that a little extreme, Shepard? What was the point of that?"

Shepard handed the shotgun back to Tali. "Just making sure that history doesn't repeat itself." He exchanged a knowing look with Tali and Garrus, both of whom had been present for the first battle of the Citadel. Garrus nodded and headed for his perch on the upper level.

Shepard turned back to the others. "The lower part of the chamber funnels visitors to the staircase. There is a large planter to either side. I want the rest of you to set up with the planters as cover. With you in position, anything that arrives to stop us will be forced to come at us up the staircase. You'll be able to catch them in a crossfire in the open without exposing yourselves. I want Liara, Ashley, Jacob and Javik on the left side. Samara, Zaeed, and Miranda on the right. Grunt, you hold the center and help either flank as needed. Make sure you've got spare thermal clips and medi-gel ready to go. If you've got any other ideas or tricks, now is the time to use them."

Shepard watched as they scattered to set up their positions, dragging sacks and boxes of gear with them. Zaeed turned back to Shepard and covertly gave a thumbs up while mouthing 'thank you' before gesturing toward Samara. Shepard chuckled as he finished donning his armor and rebooted his comm.

Shepard returned to the Master Control console at the heart of the Council Chamber. Tali and EDI were there, waiting for him to explain what he was going to attempt. Shepard stood for several seconds, contemplating his resources, letting half-formed thoughts collide and interact, forming into coherent, if desperate, plans. Shepard felt fully in his element, pulling together scraps of information and using them to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, he hoped. He felt a brief dizziness as the options swirled in his mind and hoped it was the headiness of the situation and not the blood loss. Shepard took one more long, slow breath. He activated his restored comms and spoke on a private channel to his comrades.

"We have only this chance to change the course of this battle. Admiral Hackett intended to defeat the Reapers with the Crucible. Failing that, he intended to fight them the best he could with the combined fleets. The Crucible has failed and the fleets will soon follow unless we are successful. We're going to take control of the Citadel and the Keepers and use the tools at our disposal to defeat the Reapers. When we do that, the Reaper forces here on the Citadel will do everything they can to stop us and take back control. We can't let them do that. They'll be hampered by their need to reach the Master Control console. They won't be able to risk damaging it, so they won't be able to use grenades or heavy weapons near it. That should give us an advantage and I'll take every advantage we can get."

"Shepard," EDI interjected. "We have been able to develop a means to influence the Reapers briefly, but we won't be able to cause them to do anything self-destructive and our influence will last for only a few seconds at best. This will not give the fleets time to take advantage of any distraction or confusion we may be able to create."

"I understand. We won't be influencing the Reapers to do anything immediately self-destructive. Our timing has to be perfect, however. When we take control of the Citadel the Reapers will undoubtedly notice and react accordingly. I need your control of the Citadel, command of the Keepers, and hack of the Reapers coordinated, so be ready. I'm going to send out a general message to the fleets, but I also need to make a second targeted broadcast only to the Orizaba. Can you target that message without alerting the Reapers?"

"We can do that, Shepard, but I don't really understand what you're trying to do," replied Tali.

"I'll lay out the details in a moment, but we have to get those messages out to set things in motion. Time is up, time to act."

* * *

Admiral Hackett stood on the bridge of the SSV Orizaba, watching the progression of the battle. He had realized that the Crucible, the device on which they'd pinned all their hopes, had failed. It had done nothing but waste so much time and so many resources. He also knew there was no retreat. The Reapers could hold them in system simply by locking the relay. Even if they could retreat, there was nowhere to go. One would have to abandon the entire galaxy to have any chance of escaping. No, they would die here, taking as many of the Reapers with them as they could. Perhaps the next cycle would be able to defeat the Reapers if they killed enough of their ships here and now. Nonetheless, some allied ships would sooner or later try to flee. With his years of experience he could feel the flow of the battle. Most would be recognizing the hopeless position they were in. At least some would flee, preferring the false hope of escape to the guarantee of death in orbit around Earth. Within minutes someone would break. There was no telling how many or how quickly others would flee after that.

The Orizaba's communication officer called for the Admiral's attention. "Sir, we just received a laser communication burst from Commander Shepard aboard the Citadel. It appears it was targeted at the Orizaba. Shepard has marked it for your eyes only." Hackett pulled up the targeted communication at his console. As he began to read it a general transmission from the Citadel arrived. Hackett paused to listen to the transmission.

Every crewmember on the bridge continued their duties as the battle raged, but gave what attention they could spare to the incoming transmission. "This is Commander Shepard aboard the Citadel. By now you have each concluded that the Crucible has failed. The Earth will not be saved. Any damage done to the Reapers now will be through our own efforts in battle. We must inflict as much damage as possible, not for ourselves, but for those that will follow us. To that end I am directing all ships to redeploy under the direction of Admiral Hackett and fire on the Citadel and, if possible, destroy it. This will deprive the Reapers of their greatest asset, forcing them to expend time and resources to rebuild it. While this will certainly result in the destruction of the Earth, it may well result in the destruction of many more Reapers than could be accomplished through conventional attack. It will also buy time for the other systems across the galaxy to direct resources toward their own survival. I urge all allied fleets to follow Admiral Hackett in this action and may each of our gods, goddesses, and spirits watch over and receive us. Shepard out."

Hackett heard gasps, sobs, and prayers from his crew as Shepard finished his transmission. It was one thing to think a battle might be hopeless, it was another to have it confirmed by someone of Shepard's reputation. Hackett knew that many held the belief that it would be Shepard that would save them as much as the Crucible. That belief had just been shattered. Hackett felt like he had been punched in the gut, but remained stoic as he returned his attention to the message from Shepard he had displayed on his console.

"Admiral Hackett. You once told me you would make me the tip of the spear. I need you to trust now that the spear remains poised to strike. Our allies believe my words have weight, but I need you to convince them that my transmission is genuine and that you are deploying the fleet to accomplish what I described in my general transmission. Deploy at the attached coordinates immediately and fire on the Citadel. If I have miscalculated, then I will see you in the next life. Thank you sir, for everything."

Hackett looked up from the message and stared for just a moment, contemplating how the word of Commander Shepard had come to carry more weight than that of Admirals, Primarchs, Matriarchs, and Dalatrasses. Hackett did not question the bizarre instructions, he simply trusted. This was Commander Shepard, the man who had been the sword and shield for all the species in this battle against the Reapers. The man who carried them all this far. Perhaps he would carry them farther if they could just have faith. He realized he did, without hesitation. Admiral Hackett turned to relay the orders of Commander Shepard to the combined fleets.

"Transmit to all allied vessels. This is Admiral Hackett. The transmission we have just received from Commander Shepard was genuine. Our efforts to activate the Crucible have failed, but we have not failed. Our mission remains the defeat of the Reapers at any cost, including our own destruction. Shepard has given us a new target that will accomplish that mission. We will execute his plan and though it cost us all, we will destroy the Reapers. All ships disengage from the Reaper forces and redeploy as I direct. Prepare to fire on the Citadel and…trust in Shepard."

Across the battle, ships shifted into the formation outlined by Admiral Hackett. They formed a massive cloud arcing around one flank of the Citadel at a distance of nearly one thousand kilometers. The Reapers continued attacking, but having clearly intercepted the open transmission, appeared more intent on interposing themselves between the Citadel and the redeploying allied fleet. Reapers raced past ships they could have fired on in order to protect the Citadel. Allied ships had already begun firing. The Reapers intercepted the incoming fire where they could, but hits could be seen on the Citadel's armor.

* * *

"Are you Fuckin' insane, Shepard?" The question had come from Zaeed. In the background it sounded like someone had taken a truckload of bells and flung them down an endless staircase. "I'm not keen on getting blown to shit by my own forces, but that's just what's gonna happen."

"Maybe, to both things", Shepard responded. "The Citadel probably can't be destroyed by conventional weapons fire, but the Reapers can't take that chance. They are moving into a protective formation between the fleets and the Citadel."

"Who gives a shit? That won't stop them destroying the fleets. What's the point?" Zaeed seemed more irritated at what he saw as a pointless maneuver than the thought of dying.

"We're about to find out who gives a shit, Zaeed. Are we all ready for the Reaper troops here?"

"Yeah, yeah. We're all ready. Got some special goodies set up for those bastards. Set up some cover around the console so no one gets hit by a stray shot while we're holding the staircase. Just finished rigging the explosives on the console so you can blow it if you want. Here's the detonator. The Normandy is standing guard out front and we got Cortez in the shuttle covering these big windows at the back of the chamber from the outside. Moved the bodies of Anderson and Coates to cover like you asked, too. Very respectful like. Time for you to pull the rabbit out of your hat if you're going to."

Zaeed returned to his post. Shepard saw that Grunt had set up a wall of crates at the center of the staircase for cover of his own. Shepard returned to the Master Control console where Tali, EDI, and Bit had been working to set his plan in motion. "We're all set up here, Shepard", Tali stated. "What makes you think this has even a chance of working?"

"Because it's the only way the pieces we have fit together. We have the programs in place. When we trigger them we'll have the Keepers. We have the Citadel, which has a direct communication link to the Reapers. We're going to hijack the apparatus that would send a signal to the Keepers and use it to send a signal directly to the Reapers. Our best estimate is that the Reapers are similar to the Geth, if more complex. They claim to be independent, but Harbinger was the first and all the rest were based on it. They should have the same base code even if they have built individuality on that base code. Besides, Harbinger believes it is the pinnacle of evolution, why do anything differently when perfection has been achieved?"

"You are making a great many assumptions in the course of this plan, Shepard. It makes optimism regarding the outcome difficult to maintain", EDI stated matter-of-factly.

Tali stepped next to Shepard and took his hand. "It will work. We have made it this far thanks to Shepard and I have faith he'll beat the Reapers."

Shepard squeezed Tali's hand. "If this doesn't work then blowing up the Citadel becomes our last option. I may have thought up this crazy plan, but I have faith in you to make this Hail Mary work."

"Hail Mary is appropriate as this appears to be a time that organic species would tend to rely on prayer", EDI interjected.

Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "No EDI, a Hail Mary is a sports term…"

"That was a joke, Shepard." Shepard snorted and gave EDI a half-smile. He was never certain, but he thought he heard EDI quietly add, "mostly".

Shepard checked the status of the battle and saw that nearly all the remaining ships had taken the positions he had designated. The Reapers were deployed to defend the massive station. "Almost time, a few more seconds", Shepard stated. "Try not to do anything to tip our hand. Don't interfere with any of the active functions of the station until you have to. Annnnd…Execute."

Tali and EDI triggered the first programs to take control of the Citadel. Shepard wasn't sure what he was expecting, but nothing seemed different as Tali, EDI, and Bit worked with the interfaces. "Do we have control?" Shepard asked.

"We do, Shepard", EDI confirmed. "I am using the signal we deduced from the Keeper data now. We're shifting a small number of Keepers to accomplish our goals. There is no indication the Reapers are as yet aware of our interference. Approximately ten seconds until final initiation. Preparing to send our command signal to the Reaper fleet."

"Make sure that the moment you send that signal that you isolate the console commands from outside influence. I don't want Reaper forces on or off the station to retake control. I want this physical console to be the only way to control the station", Shepard emphasized.

Tali and EDI worked intently at the console, aided by Bit. Shepard could not begin to track what they were doing, but he had confidence in their abilities. Despite his assertions he had less confidence in what they were trying to accomplish. He held his breath as the seconds ticked by.

"Three, two, one, activating the Relay and sending our command to the Reapers." Shepard watched the scans of the ongoing battle intently. With their control of both the Citadel and the Keepers they were able to activate a primary function of the station that seemed to get very little attention. Shepard had been very careful in his transmissions not to reference this function and potentially alert the Reapers to what they intended. EDI was correct about their limited ability to control the Reapers. In the brief moment of influence they could achieve their hack would not be able to do anything that would directly harm the Reapers, but they weren't trying to harm them. They were simply inserting a command telling the Reapers it was time to do something they had done every cycle for millions of years. At their signal the Citadel's massive element zero core surged with energy. This energy was channeled to the exterior of the station and directed to the Reaper fleet. The redeployment of the allied fleets had caused the Reapers to position the vast majority of their ships within range of the Citadel's relay function and roughly faced them toward where they had crossed the galactic rim. The communication system that would have allowed the Reapers to signal the Keepers became a means to send a signal back, seizing control for a precious few seconds. In those few seconds the Reapers had one directive. Home. In those few seconds, vast swaths of the Reaper fleet triggered their mass effect cores and vanished into dark space.


	10. Chapter 10 - Gains and Losses

Chapter 10 - Gains and Losses

Aboard the SSV Orizaba, Admiral Hackett watched as the fleet uselessly pounded the Citadel. A small voice at the back of his head kept telling him they were wasting what chance they had to damage the Reapers. That small voice was getting louder, but Hackett refused to hear it. Another transmission arrived, from the captain of the Destiny Ascension no less, demanding they turn their attention back to the Reapers. Hackett personally responded to that message, wielding Shepard's name like a talisman, warding off the Asari's desire to alter their course, to fire on the Reapers, to flee, to do something, anything other than waste their lives. Other captains were adding their voices to the growing chorus. Hackett was under no illusions. It was not his word that held the fleets together in what seemed a doomed task. It was Shepard's. But even Shepard's name could not sustain them forever. He could feel the tension again building in the fleet, a fear that would soon fragment the fleet's order of battle and hasten their inevitable destruction.

Then, without warning, the ship's sensors registered a massive energy spike. The flares of blue energy emanating from the Citadel were visible even at their distance. Hackett could only stare as within the space of seconds much of the Reaper fleet simply vanished.

"What the hell just happened? Report!" Hackett shouted into the confused silence that hung on the bridge.

"Um, sir", a Lieutenant at a sensor console stammered, "The energy appears to have been emitted by the Citadel's core. Large numbers of the Reaper forces appear to have entered mass effect corridors. It isn't clear where they vanished to, sir."

As the commander of the Alliance's fifth fleet, Admiral Hackett was privy to the top secret information that the Citadel was a dormant mass relay that the Reaper's had used in the past to enter the galaxy from dark space. Admiral Hackett's decorum dissolved as he realized what had just happened. "Holy shit, Shepard, just banished the Reapers back to the dark hell they came from. Give me an update on Reaper forces. Coordinate with the other fleets."

The battle seemed to pause as both the combined fleets and the Reapers processed what had just occurred. The lieutenant came back quickly with a report. "Sir, the best immediate estimate is that roughly thirty percent of the Sovereign class Reapers have translated out of the system. It appears that the Destroyer class ships fared worse with nearly eighty percent of them disappearing. And sir, nearly all the Oculi have disappeared."

"Sir", the communications officer interrupted. "We're receiving a transmission from the Citadel. It's Commander Shepard."

"On speaker", Hackett ordered.

"To all allied ships. This is Commander Shepard. We've managed to send as much of the Reaper fleet as possible back to dark space. We've slammed the door behind them and we'll hold it shut as long as we can. Hopefully, it's enough that you can destroy what remains. We're counting on you. The entire galaxy is counting on you. Hit them hard and don't stop fighting. Shepard out."

Hackett smiled. They needed a miracle and Shepard had delivered. He marveled again at how Shepard's words and actions could breathe new life into the hope that only moments before had been near dead. He felt it in himself and in the fleet around him. "Lieutenant, transmit to the fleet." Hackett composed himself briefly then moved to take advantage of the opportunity Shepard had handed them. "This is Admiral Hackett. Shepard has given us a fighting chance and we're not going to waste it. Redeploy on my command and prepare to hit the Reapers, hard."

* * *

"I don't take it back, Shepard. You are insane. In the best kind of way." Zaeed made the comment with a tone of admiration.

"There's nothing crazy about defeating more than half the Reaper fleet with the push of a button", Ashley added, grinning broadly.

"Hardly just the push of a button", Tali responded. "That was extremely delicate timing."

"And hardly 'defeated', Ashley." Shepard showed none of the elation of his comrades. "The Reapers we just sent back to dark space are no doubt banging on the door trying to get back in. The Reaper ground troops on the Citadel will be converging on this chamber with one thought; take back the console and reopen the relay. Every minute we prevent them from doing that is time for the fleet to fight the Reapers we couldn't get rid of. EDI, what's the status of Reaper troops on the Citadel?"

"The Reapers transferred a broad array of troops aboard to assist in capturing the Citadel. Sensor records indicate they took key areas of the station in order to move the Citadel to Earth, but left most of the residential areas undisturbed. They appear to have initially converted large numbers of each of the major species to bolster their troops with the intention to eventually convert or kill everyone on the station. It is also possible that some number of victims have been indoctrinated either here on the station or transferred to the station via the Conduit from Earth. Additional troops could have also been transferred from Earth meaning we will likely see a large number of Husks."

Shepard continued to stare into the distance in thought. "Okay. From what you're saying it sounds as if there are still a sizable number of people aboard the Citadel. Since the Reapers already know what we're up to, let's see if we can get any assistance from anyone else on board. Patch me into the station wide communications."

EDI nodded and made an adjustment to the console. "Go ahead, Shepard."

"This is Commander Shepard aboard the Citadel. We are striking against the Reapers from the Council Chamber and expect to be under heavy attack by Reaper troops in a matter of moments. Any assistance that can be provided by surviving C-Sec or other personnel could mean the difference between defeating the Reapers or being destroyed by them. Anyone receiving this message who can be of assistance, we are in the Council Chamber at the top of the Presidium Tower."

"Message broadcast, Shepard. I will inform you if we get any reply", EDI stated.

Shepard rubbed his chin as he thought. "Is there any chance the Reaper troops can directly access the relay and open it despite our control of the console?"

"Very unlikely, Shepard", EDI replied. "The Reapers relied on the Keepers to maintain and operate the station's hidden functions. To prevent possible access by target species they would have had to make these areas inaccessible to any but the Keepers, even to themselves. Since we control the Keepers, there will be no possible way to access the relay functions apart from the Master Control console. As long as we control the console the Reapers will not be able to return from dark space."

"You always bring me the very best violence, Shepard. How long 'til they attack? Waiting to kill what they throw at us is making my plates itch." Grunt stroked the barrel of his Claymore with the closest thing to tenderness Shepard had ever seen him display.

Shepard looked a question at EDI and she responded to Grunt. "You will be getting your wish shortly. The Reapers are unable to move openly through the Presidium due to the presence of the Normandy and the shuttle. They must move via covered walkways and service tunnels. Tali has ordered the Keepers to block what places they can, but that will only slow the Reapers. The Reapers will be unable to move larger troops such as Brutes or Harvesters into the chamber. But I estimate other troops will be arriving within the next few minutes through service access tunnels to either side of the chamber. I highly recommend preparation for their imminent arrival."

"You heard EDI. Take your positions. Remember, if we hold the console then it is up to Hackett and the fleet to make the most of the chance we gave them. If the Reapers retake this console, then their fleet will return in full force and pissed as hell. Zaeed wired the console with explosives. If we are going to fail, then I'll blow the explosives and destroy the console. That would mean blowing all of us up as well, but that may be what it comes to."

Miranda, always analyzing the situation, spoke up. "Shepard, if the console is so important to the Reapers bringing their ships back, why don't we just blow it up now?"

"I appreciate the thought, Miranda, but I'm not sure the Reapers couldn't figure out another way to get to the relay if they had to. I want them to focus on this room as the fastest way to reopen the relay because this is where we can stop them. Also, I don't know what would happen if the main console were destroyed. The Citadel might open on its own or self-activate the relay. If the Reapers are going to take the console we'll have to blow it and take our chances. Until then, we keep it intact."

"Shepard, we are receiving a communication", Tali interrupted, surprise in her voice. "It's from Harbinger."

Shepard shared her surprise. "Really? Is there any way for the Reapers to access other systems if we communicate?"

"Negative", EDI replied. "We have isolated the communications systems from other functions. You may communicate with Harbinger if you so desire."

"I most certainly do not desire, but I'm hoping to buy as much time as possible for the fleets, so accept the transmission. Keep an eye out for an attack in case this is just a distraction."

Within seconds the looming holographic form of Harbinger reappeared. "Shepard, we continue to underestimate your determination. We believe it is time to discuss surrender."

"You wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept." Shepard accompanied this statement with a flourish of his hand.

"Yes. We surrender, Shepard." Shepard simply stood with his jaw hanging open, his flourish frozen half completed. He had been joking, hoping to taunt or perhaps just annoy his enemy. Now Harbinger was dangling before him what he had dreamed of achieving, but did not believe was possible.

"Surrender?" Shepard was incredulous. "I find it highly unlikely that you would surrender to us inferior organics."

"You have altered the situation, changed the variables. Your fleet has withdrawn from the battle. We have allowed this to avoid additional destruction. We are certain you would prefer to avoid further deaths. Activate the relay and we will return to dark space. Fail to accept this offer and everything that follows will be your doing, your responsibility. We have contingencies for all possibilities, Shepard."

"Mute our transmission, EDI." Shepard turned to his comrades, perplexed. "EDI, can we open the relay so the Reapers can return to dark space without allowing the rest of the Reapers to return from dark space?"

"I can make no such guarantee, Shepard. The Reapers built the relays and have greater knowledge of their workings. If we reactivate the relay they may be able to use it to bring their forces back."

"This is bullshit, Shepard", Jacob said angrily. "There is no way they are just giving up. It's a trick to get you to open the door."

Liara stepped closer. "As much as we might wish for a way out of this that does not lead to greater losses, you know this is a lie. You know there is only one way for this to end."

Shepard looked at each of his friends and saw the hard determination in their faces, the recognition that this would only end when they or the Reapers were truly broken. Worse, he knew his friends were right. But even the possibility of a way to end this battle now, to end the loss of life both on Earth and in the space around them, was a tempting fantasy. He also knew the Reapers might well have other contingencies as Harbinger warned. "EDI, has the fleet withdrawn as Harbinger claimed?" Shepard found it impossible to believe that Hackett would have used the massive reduction in the Reaper fleet to run rather than attack.

"Sensors indicate that the fleets have pulled back. It is not clear what the purpose of this maneuver is, though it is possible it is a prelude to retreat."

"No. If Hackett is alive he would never retreat. He knows the stakes. Is the Orizaba still in the battle?"

EDI paused for a moment before responding. "The Orizaba continues to broadcast its IFF signal."

"Then we give Hackett a chance to do whatever he's planning, and I believe he is planning something. Everyone back to positions. Things are about to get interesting."

"Would you like to respond to Harbinger's offer, Shepard?", Tali asked with a mixture of apprehension and amusement.

"No. Let's see how long it's willing to wait for an answer. Let's give Hackett as much time as we can."

* * *

The Reaper ships had maneuvered to put the Citadel between them and the allied fleets. Hackett had attempted to make his redeployment look like a withdrawal from the battle, but he could not understand why the Reapers had given them room to breathe. He made sure to use the minutes well. The fleet was nearly prepared for what they would attempt. He trusted Shepard was still doing what he could to aid them. Perhaps he had been able to distract the Reapers. Perhaps he was fighting for his life right now aboard the Citadel. He did not dare send a message now. He would take no chance on tipping the Reapers to what was coming.

"All fleets reporting ready, Admiral", his communications officer reported.

"All ships maintain defensive formation. Begin the approach. The Reapers may attack as we approach, but I suspect they are forcing us to maneuver around the Citadel to attack." This seemed likely as the Reapers preferred close combat to long-ranged engagements, sometimes even physically seizing enemy ships with the cluster of five arms at each ship's bow. If so, Hackett was going to make that work for him.

The combined fleets had taken damage. The Reapers had destroyed or crippled a large number of ships. But the fleets were massive. Even with their losses they retained an enormous number of vessels. And their numbers, even with their losses, significantly outnumbered the remaining Reaper ships. The Sovereign class ships had always been the fewest in the Reaper fleet, but the loss of most of the Destroyers and nearly all the Oculi meant that much of what remained were the enormous vessels. Yet despite their smaller numbers each remaining Reaper ship was immensely powerful. Their best estimates of their current numbers could not predict with certainty the outcome of the engagement. But those were the best odds they had ever managed. The fleets accelerated toward the Reapers and prepared to execute their attack plan.

* * *

"Reaper forces are entering the chamber", EDI warned. Within seconds swarms of Husks sprinted into view from the left and right cul-de-sacs below the main chamber. Worse, the Husks used their ability to cling to surfaces to crawl along the walls as well. EDI was streaming the data to Shepard's omni-tool allowing him to track the Reaper movements in the chamber and give commands as needed. It appeared the Reapers were trying to quickly overwhelm them with numbers. Swarms of Husks rushed forward, seeking to burst between the two defensive emplacements and reach the console. If any reached the console they would likely activate programs that would retake control of the station, even through the safeguards EDI had worked to establish.

Shepard was reminded yet again why he trusted his comrades' capabilities and decisions. On the left, Liara created a singularity to block the Husks crawling along the wall, pulling several into its twisting gravity well. Javik struck these with his own biotic attack causing the conflicting fields to detonate. Ashley and Jacob meanwhile hurled multiple grenades into the oncoming Husks on the ground. These tactics were matched by the defenders on the right. Zaeed favored an incendiary compound in his grenades and multiple fires were burning among the quickly growing piles of destroyed cybernetic creatures. The few that made it through in this initial assault were torn apart by Grunt's shotgun.

Shepard watched carefully. The Reapers were holding back their other forces. Trying to overwhelm them with numbers, but also testing defenses and depleting resources. This was not the worst they would face. He scanned the ceiling and walls to make sure no Husks were slipping through. More grenades were hurled into the lower chamber and the biotic team members continued to work in tandem. They would keep this up as long as they could, as long as they had to.

* * *

"Normandy, this is Lieutenant Tanaka of C-Sec. We received Commander Shepard's transmission and are incoming to assist. We are approaching at your twelve o'clock. Request permission to disembark at the Presidium Tower."

"Yes!", Joker exclaimed. Providing cover out here is finally paying off." EDI, can we scan those shuttles and see what's aboard?"

"The Normandy's sensors have been degraded due to the damage received. I am not able to be certain who or what is aboard the shuttles. We cannot ascertain with certainty whether the approaching ships are friendly."

"We called for help, EDI. This could be it. Can you connect with the Citadel's internal sensors to check those shuttles?"

"Not directly, Jeff. Allowing me to directly connect to the Citadel's primary systems could create a vulnerability the Reapers might exploit. I am receiving information from where I am directly monitoring the main console. It appears the shuttles contain humans and Turians. I am attempting to refine this information, but I am a bit distracted at the moment."

"Having you in two places at once is confusing, EDI. We'll keep our eyes open, but we can't assume everyone is hostile or we won't be able to get any help. Remember what I said about having faith." Joker responded to the approaching shuttles. "C-Sec shuttles, approach the Presidium Tower at the elevator. There is room there to enter the tower."

"Thank you, Normandy. On approach now." The pair of shuttles angled upward, approaching the Normandy and the tower. "Normandy, we've got a VIP on board who insists he needs to meet you aboard the Normandy. Altering course now."

"What? No shuttle two, do not approach the Normandy. Repeat, do not approach. Hold position for verification." Joker muted his end of the transmission and asked, "EDI, do we have any better information…"

A transmission interrupted Joker's efforts. "Normandy. Please repeat. Last transmission garbled. Please transmit docking instructions. Commander Bailey needs to meet with your command staff immediately." The shuttle had not stopped its approach and with the distances involved was already drawing near the Normandy. The first shuttle continued toward the Presidium tower.

"Shit. Shuttle two, do not approach. Hold at two hundred meters for verification", Joker was desperate now, facing a totally unfamiliar situation. "EDI, can you tell me anything, anything at all."

"No, Jeff. The shuttle is continuing its approach."

"Shit, shit, SHIT." Joker tried to ask himself what Shepard would do, but realized he had no idea how to answer that question and no time in which to figure it out. He was turning back to the communications, stammering, when the GARDIAN system suddenly reclassified the shuttle as hostile. "EDI?", Joker asked.

With its new designation as a hostile, the GARDIAN system targeted the incoming shuttle as it approached, now less than one hundred meters away. To Joker's surprise, as the point defense system fired on it, the shuttle erupted in a massive explosion that rocked the Normandy. He was tossed in his seat, fresh pain shooting through his ribs. He sucked in breath through his teeth. "EDI, damage report."

"The shuttle appears to have been carrying a significant amount of explosive material. Sensors are temporarily offline. I cannot locate the other shuttle. GARDIAN is active, but target acquisition is currently not possible"

Joker looked through his viewport, but could not see the other shuttle anywhere near the Presidium Tower. "If sensors are down then look around. See if you can spot that other shuttle."

"The sensors are my eyes, Jeff. I cannot look around."

"I'm sorry, EDI. I wasn't thinking. Clearly, I wasn't thinking." Joker looked every way he could through the viewports, angry at himself for his hesitation. "How long to get sensors back up, EDI?" Joker had no more than asked the question when he caught sight of the other shuttle. "Shit, EDI! It's diving straight down on us from above! Straight above!" Joker struggled back into his seat, his affliction and injury slowing his movements. He heard and felt the point defense lasers firing blindly in the direction he had identified. EDI was shifting the ship's position, dodging in the dark. He reached to take control, to do something, but then all hell broke loose.

The Normandy was falling, or something like it. The Citadel relied on generating gravity through rotation. Where the Normandy had been hovering there was essentially no gravity. EDI had managed to blindly hit the incoming shuttle barely twenty meters from the gaping hole opening onto the remains of deck one. Joker sat dazed, struggling to regain focus. Multiple fresh pains helped with that.

"E…EDI?", Joker struggled to speak. Something trickled down into his eyes.

"Jeff." EDI's voice was garbled with static. "The core is offline. The explosion destroyed what remained of deck one. The CIC has been destroyed as well. Deck three, four, and five have taken damage, but are intact. We have been pushed into a descent relative to the tower and will impact the surface of the Citadel at the tower's base. I am attempting to use maneuvering thrusters to adjust our descent and minimize further harm to the crew. Main power is failing, Jeff. I will remain functional for as long as I can."

"I am so sorry, EDI. This is my fault. I should have destroyed that shuttle as soon as it ignored my directions."

There was a pause as the static increased. Lights flickered across the consoles. "I could not decide what was right either, Jeff. I calculated, but I wanted to have faith as well. It appears faith can inspire both decisiveness and indecisiveness. I will have to examine that paradox further if I have the opportunity."

"EDI, I…"

"Ten seconds to impact. Diverting remaining power from systems to thrusters. Recalibrating acceleration compensators to counteract traumatic deceleration. All crew members brace for impact and prepare to abandon ship." Across the bridge panels went dark as power was redirected.

"EDI, I love you"

"I know."

The Normandy crashed to the ground at the base of the Presidium Tower. Despite EDI's best efforts the impact ripped through the ship. The starboard wing tore free of the hull, leaving a gaping hole into the ship's interior. The superstructure crumpled and deck five collapsed on itself, destroying the armory and killing the two crewmembers stationed there. In the cockpit, Joker was tossed mercilessly. Pain wracked his body. His left leg impacted the console shattering his upper and lower leg. Power failed completely and the ship went dark but for emergency lighting. Joker could see through the open viewports down the length of the Citadel. He squinted through a red haze of blood and pain and saw that Husks were already emerging from the ground level buildings and approaching the dying Normandy. Farther down the Presidium he could see Harvesters emerging from cover to fly toward the tower.

"EDI? EDI?!" Joker called out desperately, but got no response. He could not get his chair to pivot and didn't think he could walk anyway. He manually released the chair mechanism and was able to swing it around so he could try to hobble or, more likely, crawl away. The door immediately behind the cockpit was closed, a fact that had most likely saved his life when the explosion hit deck two. He was contemplating the daunting task of crawling to the escape pod when he heard scratching at the metal door. Seconds later Husks demonstrated they had the intelligence to trigger a manual release as the door slid partially open.

A Husk began clambering through the gap. As it did, Joker reached beneath his seat and pulled out an Eagle model pistol. He had chosen the model due to its high fire rate and low recoil, not wanting to break his wrist firing a bigger gun. The Husk looked up at him from the gap and moaned. Joker pulled the trigger and sent a stream of shots toward the Husk. His aim suffered due to his injuries, but the high rate of fire meant he hit everything in the general area of the door, including the Husk. It crumpled and hung in the gap.

Joker breathed a sigh of relief, but realized a second Husk was dragging the first out of the way so it could enter. Joker fumbled for a fresh thermal clip, gasping as the pain in his ribs flared with the movement. The Husk crawled through the gap as Joker dropped the thermal clip he had been struggling to load. The Husk was reaching for him when its head exploded, spraying fluids across Joker's face and the dead panels behind him.

Joker could see the face of Private Westmoreland, one of the war room guards, peering through the gap. She helped force the door further open and Doctor Chakwas pushed through and reached Joker. Chakwas turned back to Westmoreland. "Gather anyone else you can. Tell them to meet us here and we'll make a break for the buildings." She glanced out the viewport at what was approaching. "Tell them to hurry."

Doctor Chakwas worked to stabilize Joker as Westmoreland vanished back into the ship. Joker asked a question he both hoped she could and couldn't answer, "Is EDI okay?"

Doctor Chakwas focused on her tasks, but knew there was little she could do under the circumstances beyond dulling the pain and stopping the bleeding. Once she had done that she looked back up at Joker and answered as honestly as she could. "I don't know, Jeff. The med bay and likely the AI core maintained power for several seconds after the crash, but there was a lot of damage. Without EDI's efforts I don't think we would have survived at all. Once everything went dark it was all I could do to get what crew members I could up here. We have to get out of the ship. Now."

Knowing there was no way he could walk Chakwas lifted Joker out of his flight chair. With his hollow bones he was lighter than she expected. She handled him as carefully as she could, but if not for the painkillers he would not have been able to bear it. She carried him through the door to the airlock beyond.

Once past the door, Joker could see the devastation in the CIC. The ceiling above the galaxy map was open to the Citadel and light poured in. The room had been devastated and Joker could see that the crew had died at their stations when the shuttle exploded. Westmoreland was returning with her partner from the war room as well as with Adams, Daniels, and Donnelly from engineering. Donnelly was limping badly and leaning on Daniels for assistance. Westmoreland was holding a pistol and cradling her other arm against her body. Westmoreland's partner, Private Campbell, was holding an assault rifle and appeared relatively unhurt.

Doctor Chakwas gently handed Joker over to a burly ensign, Copeland she recalled, and took up a pistol of her own. "Any sign of Diana Allers?" She looked to the engineers that had been on deck four with her.

Adams spoke up, blood trailing from a gash along his jaw. "The starboard side where her quarters were took a lot of damage in the crash. We couldn't get to where she was and given that she didn't even have a chair in there to strap into…" He let the implication sink in.

"If this is who can make it, then we go now. The Reapers are coming. We are going through the airlock and down the emergency ramp. We are heading away from the tower toward the shops on the opposite side of the Presidium. Hopefully, the Reapers will let us go once it is clear we aren't going toward the tower. Everyone keep moving."

"But, ma'am", Westmoreland spoke up. "Isn't there anything we can do to help Commander Shepard?"

Chakwas looked hard at the soldier. "Private, we may not even be able to help ourselves. Now get moving."

They pushed past the airlock door and triggered the outer airlock. The door opened to reveal a Husk standing at the top of the emergency ramp. Chakwas shot it through the face and it rolled the short distance to the bottom of the ramp. They ran or hobbled at the best speed they could manage, making for the shops opposite the tower. Only Husks appeared to be in the immediate area. They fired as they moved, keeping anything from getting too close.

Suddenly, a Harvester dropped from above onto the walkway between them and safety. It paused only momentarily before launching itself back into the air. It left behind a dozen Cannibals and Marauders. They stood among the dead that yet remained on the walkways, raising their weapons to eliminate the remaining Normandy crew. The crew were too slow, too hurt to rush to cover. With no armor or shields, Chakwas knew they would die, but maybe they could yet take a few with them. She raised her pistol as her comrades raised what weapons they had.

A fraction before they could fire, high-powered mass driver rounds ripped into the group of Reaper troops. The Reapers fired wildly as they were torn apart by the powerful shots. Chakwas glanced over her shoulder and realized Cortez had hurried to the site of the Normandy's destruction. He was doing what he could now to help them escape.

Joker groaned as the burly ensign that was carrying him fell to his knees. Chakwas rushed to grab Joker from him as he fell among the corpses on the walkway, half his head gone. Chakwas again carried Joker as they made the best speed they could toward the shops. Cortez hovered above making sure that no further danger reached them.

Unfortunately, this made him a target. As the group straggled into the cover of the shops, Cortez' shuttle was struck multiple times by Ravager fire. He tried to evade, but the shots ripped into the ship, damaging the thrusters. The shuttle spun to the ground, landing hard near the broken Normandy. Chakwas knew there was nothing they could do to help. She held back her tears as she activated the panel to close and lock the door. Her last view was of a Brute tearing the shuttle open, Cortez making an obscene gesture of defiance as the creature raised its claw for a killing blow.

Chakwas forced herself to stand straight, to be strong. She turned to Westmoreland and Campbell. "Guard this door. Keep it locked and don't let anything in. Hopefully, the Reapers realize we can't fight them anymore and will back off."

Private Campbell and Private Westmoreland took up positions. Chakwas overheard Campbell comment, "Shit, all this and we're still guarding a door." Chakwas let it slide without comment. They had bigger issues to deal with.

"Greg, see if you can find some communications while I do what I can for the wounded. We need to warn Commander Shepard what happened, though I suspect he is already aware."

"Will do Karen. And let me add, command suits you."

Chakwas realized she had taken command of the situation, experience doing what rank couldn't. Well, protocol be damned. She had people to save. "Once you are able to warn Shepard, see what you can do about reaching survivors on the station. We may not be able to help Shepard, but maybe we can reach somebody who can. Until that happens, Shepard is on his own."


	11. Chapter 11 - The Bitter End?

Chapter 11 – The Bitter End?

Shepard clearly heard the explosion even over the ongoing combat. Husks had pushed to the top of the stairs, breaking like a wave on a rock when they reached Grunt. Drones generated by Tali and Bit supported Grunt. On the walkway above, Archangel was reborn and Shepard realized the Reapers rushing the narrow staircase reminded him of defending the bridge on Omega. Despite their efforts, the numbers were taking their toll. Stragglers were starting to slip past and rushing toward the console, only to be cut down by gunfire and tech attacks. But they kept coming. Worse, Cannibals and Marauders had begun to appear and were adding their gunfire to the threat of the Husks. And now this explosion.

"EDI, what is going on with the Normandy?" Shepard yelled over the gunfire.

EDI fired off a burst from her submachine gun. "The Normandy is under attack by two shuttles. One of them exploded near the Normandy when fired upon. My sensors are offline. I am working to restore sensor functions." EDI continued to sporadically fire at the oncoming Husks while simultaneously communicating with herself aboard the Normandy.

A second explosion erupted, the flash throwing shadows through the open elevator door at the far end of the room. EDI suddenly spasmed, sending a stream of gunfire across the crates and floor. She sagged from where she had propped herself behind the crates.

"Tali, check on EDI!" Shepard shouted. Tali, who had been kneeling in the cover of the crates and generating drones, slid over to EDI.

As Tali began a check of EDI's status, EDI spoke up. "The Normandy has taken critical damage. Power is failing. The ship will impact at the base of the tower. I am doing what I can to protect the crew. The ship must be abandoned. There are casualties." Several seconds passed as EDI stared, keying commands into her omni-tool. Shepard carefully tossed a pair of grenades into the space between himself and Grunt, staving off a surge from the Husks. Shepard glanced back at EDI and she simply stated, "I am gone."

"Shit! What happened to the crew? Is Cortez still out there?"

"I have no further information at this time, Shepard. I will continue to carry out our plan, albeit at reduced efficiency." EDI turned back toward the enemy, propping herself against the crates with her remaining leg. They could not afford to lose focus worrying for those at risk so she fought on, keeping whatever concerns she had regarding Joker's safety to herself.

"Shepard!" Garrus' voice came over the communicator. There are Harvesters landing troops at the elevator." From his elevated position, Garrus could see past the stairs to the far end of the hall. From below Shepard saw Garrus hoist a missile launcher to his shoulder, sighting for a moment before firing. The missile roared over the heads of the intervening troops to vanish at the far end of the hall. There was a moment's delay followed by the distant sound of a detonating Harvester.

"Hah, scratch one. I can turn anything into a sniper weapon. Damn, wish we had more of these." Garrus dropped the expended launcher to the ground and hefted his sniper rifle. Garrus was right, for some reason heavy weapons had been in short supply.

Suddenly, the bank of windows high up the wall behind them shattered. Shards of supposedly shatterproof glass rained down into the chamber. Shepard briefly saw the head of a Harvester before it pulled back. Around the edges of the now broken window swarmed a horde of Husks, crawling through the window and down the walls toward Garrus. Shepard shouted a warning into his communicator and fired several bursts at the Husks. As he changed out the thermal clip he got a communication from Liara. The Cannibals and Marauders were pressing forward. Shepard realized why. New troops had arrived to press the assault. Shepard heard the howling of multiple Banshees. He called out to anyone who was in earshot, "Whatever Hackett is up to, I hope its going well."

* * *

The combined fleets were about to crest the station to attack the Reapers. Hackett was certain the Reapers would attempt to pick off as many ships as possible as they came into view. They had prepared for this the best they could.

"All ships, prepare to shift formation on my order. Dreadnoughts take the lead and shield the other vessels. Shift power from kinetic weaponry and aft shields to boost forward shields. Designate targets by squadron and time on target."

Admiral Stephen Hackett was about to roll the dice on the biggest gamble in recorded history. The military scientists and commanders had debated extensively before concluding that Reapers used point-defense similar to their own GARDIAN system. Hackett, more than most, had seen all classes of Reaper vessels in combat. He had studied every available report. He was convinced that their intensive use of screening from their Destroyers and Oculi was to compensate for point defense systems that were far less capable than had been estimated. Time and again in confrontations with Reaper Destroyers and Sovereign class ships the enemy relied on their primary weapon when a point defense system would have been far more effective. Sovereign had relied on Geth cruisers and fighters to screen it from Citadel forces and in the final attack had relied on its main weaponry. He had read the reports of Shepard battling a Destroyer on Rannoch, dodging its main weapon while painting it with a targeting laser. As skilled as the Commander was, an effective point defense system would have made short work of him. Such a system would have helped another Destroyer against a Thresher Maw on Tuchanka. On Earth, Harbinger had annihilated Hammer's effort to charge the Conduit, but it had used a weapon capable of destroying a dreadnought to kill individual humans when a point-defense system would have been far more efficient. Mass effect technology had led all species to rely heavily on weapons that could be countered by shields. Perhaps the Reapers had not encountered missiles and torpedoes at the time of their conception or perhaps they had not expected the species of the galaxy to maintain extensive use of slow, guided projectile weapons that would ignore shields. Perhaps the Reapers considered small ships beneath their notice. Or perhaps they were simply too arrogant to conceive of organics putting them at a disadvantage. Regardless, during the war they had always relied on their Destroyers and especially their Oculi to screen their Sovereign class ships and eliminate incoming targets. Very few of those ships remained, thanks to Commander Shepard. The Sovereign class ships would have to fend for themselves. Hackett believed, prayed, that their point-defense, subjected to a dedicated attack and absent the cover of their Oculi, would not be up to the task. He was staking the fate of the galaxy on it. He would use every maneuver he knew to apply massive amounts of firepower professionally and effectively. He found it hard to believe, but he was about to try to beat the Reapers conventionally.

The fleets crested the massive bulk of the Citadel. The Reapers began firing as the first ships appeared. There was no way to know if the Reapers were suspicious of the Dreadnoughts appearing first as these would typically be preceded by smaller ships. Hackett had reversed this. But even the bolstered shields of the Dreadnoughts would be overwhelmed by the firepower of the Reapers' main guns. The Dreadnoughts shields began to fail with damage and explosions blooming on multiple hulls.

But this bought the fleet time to clear the Citadel. They needed only a few seconds of protection to gain the position to strike. Nimble fighters broke from behind the screen of Dreadnoughts to quickly bridge the gap between the allied fleets and the Reapers. Frigates rolled into position followed by Cruisers, forming concentric circles based on speed and maneuverability.

"All groups, mark targets and fire", Hackett calmly broadcast to the fleet. The massed groups of ships simultaneously fired their missiles and torpedoes at their designated targets. The ships had not bothered to fire their mass accelerator weapons. In the first battle of the Citadel Sovereign had shown them that the Reapers shields were powerful enough to hold against their firepower far longer than they could afford. The power that would have gone to these weapons was dedicated to shields. The missiles and torpedoes they launched were self-powered, requiring very little energy to aim and fire. The Cruisers and what Dreadnoughts were able fired their Javelin missiles as well. Hackett had used their earlier reprieve to fully arm his fighters with disruptor torpedoes. The Frigates added torpedoes of their own to the barrage. None of these weapons were affected by shields making the Reapers' incredibly powerful shields irrelevant. If Hackett was right, without their screen of Destroyers and Oculi, the Reapers would not be able to fully defend against such concentrated fire. If he was wrong, the fleets would hopefully at least do some damage before they died.

Hackett smiled as he watched the Reapers struggle with the attack. The point defense they possessed was accurate, but very limited. Confronted with several hundred targets each with bare seconds to respond, they were failing. Hackett watched a half dozen Sovereign class Reapers torn to pieces under the barrage of conflicting mass effect fields. Hackett watched the Reapers meet this new threat and felt he could sense a change in them. Was it…desperation? He found that hard to believe. But, the Reapers were confronting something they had likely never experienced before.

Desperation would make something more dangerous, not less. Hackett knew this with certainty. The Reapers fought back, obliterating Cruisers and Dreadnoughts. Hackett watched a Turian Dreadnought founder and break apart, escape pods arcing away. An Asari Cruiser was sliced nearly in half by a Reaper beam before simply exploding. There would be no pods escaping that ship. "All ships press the attack. Maintain fire coordination. Bring Thanix and mass accelerator weaponry on line, but only target vessels with confirmed shield loss. Don't stop fighting."

* * *

The Reapers were pressing the attack, hard. Half a dozen Banshees leapt into view, drawing closer to the flank positions with each jump. Zaeed keyed a command into his omni-tool and explosive charges that had been hidden across the lower foyer detonated. Cannibals and Marauders were hurled into the air as multiple blast waves roared through the foyer. A Banshee had the misfortune to have jumped to the top of one of the crates as it detonated, leaving only her upper torso spiraling into a wall. The unexpected series of explosions caused a moment of pause for the Reapers. It bought a moment for the defenders to use medi-gel and recharge shields.

The pause did not last. The remaining Banshees pressed forward, backed up by the gunfire of the Cannibals and Marauders. The defenders kept up a steady stream of fire. On the left, two Banshees and several Husks leapt into hand-to-hand combat. Liara jumped back, throwing a Singularity at the Banshees. The Banshees, surrounded by biotic barriers ignored the gravitational effects of the Singularity, but found themselves buffeted by floating Husks. They paused, searching for their targets. Ashley used the moment to kick a box of grenades into the gravitational field. The Banshees found themselves surrounded by not only Husks, but a dozen grenades. As they began to shimmer with biotic energy, Ashley, Jacob, and Javik leapt back to where Liara had thrown up a protective barrier, triggering the grenades by omni-tool. The Banshees and Husks vanished in the coordinated explosion. The defenders were knocked back by the blast even through the barrier.

The Reapers on the right flank had surged forward as well. The defenders fired into the Reapers, but a Banshee suddenly appeared by Zaeed, her usual warning screams lost in the cacophony. Without pause she drove her enormous talons into Zaeed's gut, lifting him off the ground. Zaeed gasped in pain, blood spurting from his lips. Husks and Cannibals surged forward to swarm Samara and Miranda. Both were near exhaustion from their constant biotic efforts. Zaeed reached up and gripped the free hand of the Banshee, delaying the killing blow. "Both of you get back, now! I've got this bitch!" Zaeed ground out through his agony. Samara and Miranda stumbled toward the console, followed by the Reapers.

Zaeed held the Banshee's arm at bay for a few moments as his comrades withdrew. He bared his bloody teeth at the Banshee, matching her permanent rictus grin. He released her arm, reaching for his omni-tool. As he activated the omni-tool he screamed into the din, "You make sure they spell it right on my statue, Shepard! Big Guddam He-". The right flank vanished in a massive explosion of incendiary gel. The Banshee was blasted with flames. She collapsed, charred and blackened, Zaeed's burning body still impaled on her talons. The flames consumed Husks and Cannibals, spreading widely, nearly reaching the retreating Miranda and Samara. Grunt was set on fire by spatters of the incendiary gel. He simply laughed and hurled a flaming Husk into the Reaper ranks.

"Heads up", Shepard heard Garrus call. Above them, the Husks that had entered through the window had used the catwalk to rush Garrus. He had expanded his assault rifle to drive them back, but they had swarmed him as his thermal clip was exhausted. With no other option, he had jumped from the thirty-foot height to the main chamber below. Shepard knew that Turians were durable, he had seen them make impressive jumps with their powerful legs, but this was beyond anything he had seen. Garrus landed heavily near the ring of crates they had set up for cover. Shepard heard Garrus' leg snap from the impact and he crashed to the ground. Despite the pain, Garrus stayed alert and rolled to the side as several Husks followed him over the edge of the catwalk. They rained down, attempting to crush the Turian, but failing, their bones shattering on impact.

"Hah. Did you see that, Shepard? That was one for the vids", Garrus joked through his pain as he dragged himself toward the cover of the crates.

"Help him, Tali", Shepard ordered as he fired on the Husks crawling down the walls. Fortunately, between the damage he had done when they first burst through the window and the ones Garrus had killed, there were fewer of them. Shepard made short work of them before changing out his thermal clip yet again.

Shepard's people were exhausted. The non-stop fighting and continuous use of biotics were taking a toll. On the right, Miranda and Samara had fallen back from the field of fire Zaeed had created. On the left, Ashley, Jacob, Javik, and Liara were trying to regroup to hold that flank. Only Grunt still seemed energized. He stood laughing in the center, blasting a Husk back down the stairs even as flames continued to burn on parts of his armor.

Ashley was holding the Reapers back while her biotic comrades caught their breath. She was about to hurl a grenade when Shepard saw her freeze. She stood, holding the grenade, staring into the swirling dust and fire.

Multiple Brutes had arrived, no doubt carried to the top of the elevator by Harvesters. In the chaos of the fighting they had advanced to the line of defenders. Despite their ponderous movements, they had the strength to quickly pull themselves over the intervening planters and level with the defenders. Four of them bore down on the left while a fifth charged the stairs where Grunt stood. Shepard had seen Brutes absorb enormous amounts of firepower making it paramount that they be eliminated before they could reach hand-to-hand combat. But Ashley stood frozen for critical seconds while the Brutes overtopped the planters and began to charge.

From his position, it took another moment for Shepard to understand what Ashley was seeing, to understand the reason for her hesitation. He realized each Brute was draped in living armor. Men, women, and children from multiple species were tied to the Brutes' carapaces, dangling from shoulders, held in claws and brandished like literal human shields. In the lull in gunfire, Shepard could hear them screaming; begging for their lives.

The Reapers could not have picked a more effective weapon against Ashley. She would fight and give her life if necessary against an army, but carried the guilt for every life she believed had been lost because of her. Every life she believed she had failed to save. The colonists of Eden Prime and her own unit. Kaidan Alenko on Virmire. The colonists on Horizon. James Vega on Earth. While others gave her medals and promotions, she burned the memory of them into her soul until there was no room for more ghosts. In that moment she couldn't grasp defending a galaxy of lives. She could only see the terrified lives in front of her.

For too many moments, they all froze with her. Javik was the first to break the trance. Drawing on his hatred of the Reapers, he stepped forward and found the energy to hit the nearest Brute with a biotic field. The people attached to the Brute were torn apart by the conflicting gravitational forces as the Brute's armor cracked and twisted. "We cannot sacrifice trillions of lives for a handful! Their sacrifice will be remembered, but now we must fight!" he screamed at the dazed group.

Shepard knew Javik was right, hated that he was right. He raised his assault rifle and fired on the Brutes. They were all firing. Shepard tried to blot the sudden sprays of scarlet and purple and blue from his mind. He kept firing, trying to drive back the Brutes, deafening himself with gunfire so that he would not hear the screams, or when they stopped.

But the damage had been done. The Brutes were too close. One charged forward and caught Javik with the swing of an enormous claw. The Prothean was knocked through the air to land in a heap, unconscious or dead. The Reaper troops surged behind the Brutes.

"Fall back to the console, NOW!" Shepard shouted into his communicator. Samara and Miranda were nearly to the console as they fired at the Reapers. Behind them, the flames created by Zaeed were dying. Grunt, apparently less concerned with collateral damage, had dealt with the Brute that had charged toward him. He now kicked the barrier he had been using down the stairs and into the group of Reapers that had been charging behind the Brute. A moment later the explosives that had been planted on the back of the barrier detonated, blunting the advance of the Reapers in the center. Grunt charged to the left flank, slamming into a Brute and knocking it to ground.

Liara and Jacob were struggling to fall back. Jacob was dragging the body of Javik with him to the defensive position around the console. But Ashley had not moved. She stepped into the Brutes and tossed the grenade she had been holding, heedless of her own proximity.

Ashley was knocked flat by the blast as one of the Brutes fell backward, its already damaged chest armor torn to bits. Ashley lay among the smoldering parts and fluids of Reaper and ally. For a moment she made eye contact with Shepard. He looked at her and yelled, "Fall back!" She smiled and he saw her lips form the word "Invictus" as she climbed back to her feet. Grunt leapt to stand next to her, crushing the head of the Brute he had knocked down.

"It's as good a day to die as any", Grunt said in such an offhanded way that she couldn't help but chuckle. She was still laughing as the wave of Reapers broke over them.

Shepard watched as the Reapers swarmed Ashley and Grunt. The bodies of Husks flew into the air as Grunt and Ashley blunted their charge. They disappeared beneath the rush of Reaper troops. More Reaper troops were again topping the stairs. The flames on the right flank had completely died away.

Miranda and Samara had climbed into the dubious safety of the circle of crates around the console. Miranda was wolfing down an energy bar, saliva and crumbs smearing her face in a manner she would never have allowed in less dire circumstances. Samara remained as cool as ever, firing her assault rifle at the approaching Reapers.

Jacob, Javik, and Liara were nearly to the ring of crates when the barrier Liara was creating to protect them was overwhelmed by Reaper fire. The defenders rushed to provide them cover. Tali and Bit attempted to distract the Reapers with drones while EDI tried to draw fire with a holographic decoy. Even in the chaos, Shepard could not help but notice that her image still had two legs. Despite the efforts to provide cover and distraction, they were too exposed. Liara staggered as incoming fire pierced the light armor she wore, spraying purple blood from her shoulder and side. She fell over the crates and into the limited cover they could provide. Tali immediately jumped forward and administered a dose of medi-gel.

Shepard leaned out to pull Javik's body to safety, his shields flashing blue as incoming shots were deflected. Jacob boosted Javik's body into Shepard's care and dove into cover himself, the combination of biotic barrier and shields keeping him from immediate harm. Shepard retreated into cover as his shields threatened to fail and glanced at his comrades. They were all on their last legs, literally in EDI's case. Liara and Javik appeared to be unconscious or worse. With her link to the Normandy gone, EDI was struggling. Garrus was down with a broken leg, but still fighting. And there were those who would never rise again. Despite all the supplies they had started with, they were nearly out of thermal clips and grenades. Shepard didn't know what shape the Reapers were in, but they had killed so many of them. He hoped they were just as desperate as he was feeling.

"Form a firing line! Here they come!" Shepard called as the Reaper forces surged forward again.

* * *

"Push forward", Hackett ordered. "Don't give them a moment to think. All forces maintain fire."

The combined fleets launched volley after volley of coordinated missile and torpedo fire. Where Reaper shields failed the Thanix cannons and mass accelerators finished the job. As allied ships died the fleets would shift and reallocate fire to keep the concentration of fire on any Reaper vessel overwhelming. The dead hulks and wreckage of dozens of Sovereign class Reapers floated in space. But the Reapers had inflicted damage in return. Space around the Citadel was littered with the debris of more allied ships than Hackett cared to count. He stood as the SSV Tai Shan broke apart under Reaper fire, helpless to prevent it. Turian and Asari ships had fared no better with entire fleets being destroyed. Despite the untold loss of life, Admiral Hackett did not flinch. He stood as if carved of stone and watched the tactical displays, his expression of grim determination unchanging.

"Sir", the communications officer spoke up. "Our fighter groups are reporting they are expending the last of their torpedoes. The flight commanders are asking for permission to return to the carriers to rearm."

"Negative, Lieutenant. All fighters are to close with the Reapers and attempt to draw fire from our remaining missiles and torpedoes. Shift deployment to maintain concentration of fire on the remaining Reapers."

"Sir, Alliance ships as well as the other fleets are reporting missile stocks are nearly expended. In less than two minutes we will not be able to maintain fire."

"If that time comes then all vessels will maintain fire with whatever weapons remain. All vessels, press the Reapers. Move as close as possible while maintaining fire coordination. Carry on, Lieutenant."

Hackett returned his gaze to the tactical displays. They could not interrupt their assault for the fighters to withdraw and rearm. If he had to use them as bait to keep hurting the Reapers, so be it. He could feel the battle reaching a critical point. The Reapers had never faced what they were facing now. More than half the Reaper vessels that had not translated to dark space had been destroyed. Others were damaged. All the information available to him indicated the Reapers had never faced so many casualties among their own. Meanwhile, whole allied fleets died without hesitation. The Turians, the Asari, the Geth, the Quarians, even the smaller contingents of Salarian, Batarian, and Rachni ships fought as if there would be no battle beyond this one. They had accepted their deaths. They would not hesitate. They would not retreat. They would die to the last ship to kill the Reapers. In millions of years the Reapers had never accepted the possibility of defeat, but now found themselves surrounded by the drifting corpses of their fellows while much of their fleet was more than two years away. If each Reaper were truly independent, then each would be confronting the reality of its own destruction. Hackett could sense there was a breaking point, if they could just push the Reapers over it.

It was only moments later when Hackett watched it happen. A pair of Sovereign class Reapers suddenly pulled away from the battle. A moment later they accelerated to FTL and vanished. Hackett leaned forward and felt his desperation become hope. "They're breaking! Hit them with everything we've got. Fire on the designated targets and keep pressing."

Seconds more ticked by and another Reaper turned and went to FTL. Then another. Within moments, the remaining Reapers were scattering in multiple directions, vanishing. "Sir!" the communications officer called out, bouncing with excitement. "I'm getting multiple requests for orders. Do we pursue or not?"

"Negative. The Reapers are faster in FTL than we are. They don't have anywhere to go as long as we control the Citadel. Shepard locked down the relays. We maintain formation around the Citadel in case they return. Finish off any damaged Reapers that are still functional. All fighters are to rearm in shifts. I want shuttles out to rescue escape pods and any crew on damaged ships that are at immediate risk. Under no circumstances do we compromise our defenses or lower our guard." Hackett rubbed his chin, suddenly feeling the weight of what had been accomplished and the losses they had suffered. "Get me an update from each fleet on ship numbers and status. Transmit my compliments and congratulations to the ship captains, but remind them to maintain battle stations." Hackett contemplated the vastly changed tactical display. "It's all up to Shepard now. May the gods of war continue to guide him."

* * *

The wave of Husks sprinted forward across the open space between the console and staircase. The remaining defenders threw what grenades remained into their ranks. Miranda and Samara combined to add a biotic explosion to the carnage. Shepard was firing into the enemy's ranks when he was suddenly violently slammed to the floor. His shields failed as he rolled onto his back. Above them he saw the head of a Harvester. The monster had returned to the shattered windows and taken advantage of their distraction to carefully target Shepard. With his shields down, the next volley would blow him to pieces.

Without warning, the Harvester detonated, something they would only do in death. He had no idea which of his comrades had managed to kill the creature, but at the moment it didn't matter. He struggled back to his knees, turning back to the onrushing troops.

A few Husks had made it through their fire. As he turned back toward the staircase a Husk leapt over the crates and tackled him. He felt it tear into the exposed flesh of his face and he tasted blood. It was pulling his shoulder plate from his armor when a knife suddenly sprouted from the side of its head. He glanced toward Tali as he pushed the dead thing off him. She spared him a glance as well, but had to immediately return her attention to the battle.

Shepard forced himself back to his knees and saw that the Husks had been wiped out, but that they had also accomplished their purpose. The Cannibals and Marauders had taken up positions behind fallen Brutes and piles of dead Husks. They opened fire, raking the defensive ring with a continuous barrage.

Shepard had seen how much damage they had done to the Reapers. The remaining troops appeared to be measured in dozens instead of hundreds. But that was still enough to overwhelm the few of them that remained. He administered his last medi-gel.

The barrage of fire had forced the exhausted defenders to keep their heads down. It had also allowed the last Brute to position itself to charge their defenses. The Brute suddenly towered over them, sweeping crates to the side, exposing the defenders to attack. As they raised their guns the creature swept EDI up in one claw. It grabbed her remaining leg in the other claw before pulling her apart. It hurled her torso into Miranda, knocking her flat. The remaining defenders fired in unison, bringing the Brute down. It fell heavily into the remaining crates, scattering them.

Jacob reached to try to pull the crates back into a semblance of cover, but was hit by multiple rounds. His shields flashed out of existence. He tried to duck back into cover, but took a wound in the upper leg. Shepard saw him trigger a dose of medi-gel.

The enemy was nearly on them. They were rushing them again, firing constantly, trying to overwhelm them as they struggled to hang on. Their shields did not have time to regenerate as hit after hit pierced their compromised cover. As his shields failed, Shepard felt his armor penetrated in multiple places. There was pain in his chest and gut. He looked to his right and saw Samara fall, purple blood oozing through her torso armor. Garrus stopped firing, the thermal clip in his assault rifle exhausted. With no more thermal clips at hand he pulled out his pistol and kept firing. Tali's shields flashed as she directed her drones, trying to buy them time, trying to kill enough of the enemy to save them.

Shepard knew they were done. They had fought harder than any unit he had ever commanded. And they would fail. The Reapers were reaching their makeshift barricade and they didn't have the strength to stop them. Shepard was having trouble breathing, having trouble focusing his eyes. Through the rapid pounding of his heart in his ears he could hear explosions somewhere. Explosions. Shepard looked down and realized he was holding the detonator for the explosives wired to the Master Control console. As he flicked the safety off a Cannibal jumped over the crate in front of him and knocked him to his back. He could see the blurry shapes of other Reaper troops looming over the now useless crates, firing into his comrades. The Cannibal above him stepped on his assault rifle as he tried to raise it in one hand. It thrust its own integrated weapon into Shepard's face. Just inches away, Shepard could see that the Reapers had fused other creatures into the Cannibal to add to its bulk. The barrel of the weapon was protruding from the deformed mouth and head of a fellow human, twisted now into the instrument of his death. But Shepard was determined to die on his own terms. He held the detonator in his right hand. He pictured Tali's beautiful face, wanting his last thoughts to be of her. His thumb descended toward the flashing red button that would obliterate the console and everything within several meters.

Suddenly, the Cannibal vanished as if it had winked out of existence. Shepard froze, confused, his thumb millimeters from the button that would annihilate them all. The Reaper troops that had reached the console fell around them as fresh gunfire rang out through the chamber. A massive biotic explosion blasted a group of Reapers in all directions. Through a bloody haze, Shepard forced himself to partially sit to see what was going on.

He could make out a group at the top of the stairs. They were approaching, firing on what Reaper troops remained. An Asari at the head of the group seized a Cannibal with a strand of dark energy and flung it across the room. Shepard realized that the Cannibal that had been about to kill him hadn't vanished, it had been yanked away. He also realized he recognized the Asari.

Aria T'Loak walked at the head of the mixed group of troops in C-Sec armor. She appeared to revel in smiting the Reaper forces with her considerable biotic power. Beside her Commander Bailey directed the C-Sec forces in purging the remaining Reaper troops and securing the room. Shepard squinted through a thickening haze at their rescuers.

Tali knelt next to Shepard. It took him a moment to register her presence. It took another moment to realize that she was alive and did not appear to be severely injured. "The fleets did it Shepard. The Reapers have run. We held the Citadel. We saved Earth." She was holding his hand. Her words sounded more pleading than joyous. He didn't understand why that was.

Shepard reached with his right hand to touch her helmet. He realized he was holding a device with a blinking red light. He dropped it, not sure what he had been trying to do. He touched the side of Tali's helmet, then felt badly for marring her beautiful suit with ugly red smears. He sagged, just feeling so tired. And cold. He slipped back to the floor, staring at nothing.

"No Shepard. No, no, no. We did it. The Reapers are gone. We did it. Shepard…I'm here...don't go…...help…...medi-gel...….don't…...…Shepard…..…..stay…...….love you…..."


	12. Chapter 12 - Aftermath

Chapter 12 – Aftermath

Commander Shepard's chest heaved once as he sucked in a single breath. He had snapped to consciousness with that breath, but did not know where he was or whether it was safe. The last thing he recalled was being overwhelmed by Reaper troops, in pain, dying.

He quietly held his single breath as he tried to determine his surroundings. The breath he had inhaled had smelled of antiseptics and not, as a part of him had genuinely feared, of brimstone. He was lying in relative comfort on a soft surface. Around him it was quiet. He slowly exhaled the breath he had been holding and opened his eyes very slightly. He saw he lay in a darkened room. His eyes shifted to scan the space around him and he realized he was lying in a hospital room, possibly the very one in which he had visited an injured Ashley Williams.

The thought of Ashley caused the details of the battle to rush back to his consciousness. He remembered Ashley falling trying to blunt the rush of Reaper troops. He thought of his friends fighting and dying alongside him. He thought of Tali and realized he didn't know where she was or if she was alive. Panic surged and he tried to sit up, intending to search for her. Pain lanced through his torso and he was forced to lie back again having barely risen. Turning his head he realized he had no need to panic.

Next to him in the dim room was Tali. She was slouched in one of the hard chairs that seemed designed to be usable by most species while being comfortable for none. She was clearly asleep, her helmet drooping and her breathing slow and regular. She seemed, relaxed, as if there were no imminent danger. This made a welcome change in Shepard's mind and he simply lay there, watching her sleep, knowing she was alive and safe.

After several seconds he reached out for her. Gingerly extending his arm to take her hands that lay loosely in her lap. He gently grasped her left hand with his right.

Tali startled awake, jumping to her feet still holding Shepard's hand. She focused on him immediately and leaned in, clutching his hand to her chest.

"Oh, Keelah, Shepard. You're awake. Are you all right? Are you okay? I'll get Doctor Chakwas. Are you okay?" She continued clutching his hand, continued her nervous rambling, torn between stepping away to get help and holding onto him.

"It's okay, Tali. I'm okay. What happened with the Reapers? What happened with the fleets?"

Tali took a moment to breathe and slow her racing thoughts and words. "The fleets did it, Shepard. They hurt them badly enough that the Reapers ran. They sacrificed so many ships, so many people, but they did it. The fleets are protecting the Citadel. The Reapers you banished can't get back from dark space."

"Where are the Reapers that fled the battle? Here in system? We can't afford to have any Reapers survive. We have to wipe them out." Shepard tried again to sit up. He was more careful this time and was able to reach a sitting position with only a tolerable amount of pain.

"They're gone as far as we can tell. As an Admiral I was provided a brief on the current war status. As far as we can tell the Reapers traveled to the system's relay. We had locked it using the control program Vigil provided, but the Reapers know secrets about the relays we have yet to learn. They were able to activate the relay and leave the system. Since then they've been moving their remaining forces, but we're not sure what they're up to."

Shepard recalled what Harbinger had said to him about the Reapers having 'contingencies' for every scenario. That thought was broken as his brow creased in consternation. "What do you mean 'since then'. How long have I been out?"

"You've been out for two days, Shepard, since Doctor Chakwas finished her surgery on you. She insisted on performing it, despite everything she went through since she was most familiar with your…modifications. I've been here as much as I could, but I was really starting to worry. Back on Despoina I told you not to do that to me anymore." Tali reached up and gently touched the side of his face. He heard the smile in her voice even if he couldn't see it.

Shepard smiled at her in return. "No more after this, I promise." He paused, becoming serious again. The mention of Doctor Chakwas had brought one of his many questions to the forefront of his mind. "What about our people? What happened to the crew on the Normandy?"

"The Normandy is gone, Shepard. It crashed at the base of the Presidium tower. Several of the crew survived. Joker was injured in the crash. He broke a leg badly and several ribs as well, but he's alive. Doctor Chakwas carried him a big part of the way to safety. From what I was told the reason so many survived was she took over and led them to safety."

Shepard nodded, proud of Chakwas. "I've always believed rank was no substitute for experience and ability."

Tali cleared her throat. "There were losses in the crash. Everyone in the CIC was killed, including Samantha Traynor. Private Martin and Corporal Tanaka in the armory were both killed. They also confirmed that Diana Allers was killed in the crash. Doctor Chakwas made it to safety with the guards from the war room, Private Campbell and Private Westmoreland. Adams, Donnelly, and Daniels made it out with them. Ensign Copeland was killed as they made their way to cover on the Presidium. It was Chakwas that was able to contact C-Sec and help get them to our position in the tower. I understand Commander Bailey was pretty angry that the shuttles used his name to get close to and attack the Normandy."

"So that was how they did it. I was wondering how they took down the Normandy, but we were a little preoccupied."

Tali got quieter, nearly whispering her words. "Cortez protected them with the shuttle as they ran from the Normandy. He sacrificed himself to make sure they were safe. Joker was badly injured, but is recovering just down the hall. Shepard, there's no activity in EDI's core on the Normandy and her autonomous body is not functioning. As far as we can tell, she's gone."

Shepard looked away and clenched his fists. He found it easier to contemplate the deaths of billions. The numbers were so large as to be incomprehensible at an emotional level. But the losses among his crew. The losses among his friends. He had to face them now. He had known there would be casualties, tried to prepare himself for it before the first shot was fired. But that logic couldn't hold back the emotional pain. Or the pain he knew Joker would be going through. He looked back to Tali and half-smiled, feeling a pang of guilt that the woman he loved sat before him, safe and unhurt.

The mention of EDI brought Shepard's thinking to the topic he had been avoiding. "What about the Council Chamber? The Reapers were all over us at the end. If Aria and C-Sec had shown up two seconds later they would have been too late. I nearly blew the charges, Tali. We wouldn't be here but for those two seconds. Some of us aren't here. After we all made it back from the suicide mission to the Collector Base I convinced myself we were invincible. But we aren't." Shepard struggled to formulate the question he needed to ask. "Who made it? Who's left?"

Tali took a breath before plunging ahead, knowing that dragging it out would not make it hurt less. "Ashley and Zaeed were both killed in the fighting. They fought so hard to hold off the Reapers. They bought us the time. They're why we're still here."

"And Grunt? I saw him fall along with Ashley."

"Amazingly, no. When C-Sec and Emergency Services were pulling us out and providing medical help they pulled Grunt from under a pile of dead Husks and Cannibals. He was so covered in blood and wounds they thought he was dead, but then he suddenly sat up and asked if they had anything to eat. I guess there are advantages to being 'pure Krogan'." Tali gestured air quotes around these last words.

Shepard couldn't help but chuckle as he pictured Grunt rising from the carnage, yet again, as if rising from a nap. He was beginning to wonder if anything short of a supernova would kill the Krogan.

Tali continued. "As for the rest of us, even with the Reapers right on top of us we protected ourselves as best we could trying to buy what time we could. I owe my life to Bit. It boosted my shields and put our drones between me and the Reapers. It's why I'm able to sit here now with no serious injuries."

"Then I owe Bit another debt." Shepard recalled that Bit was there in the room with them. "Thank you Bit for keeping Tali safe and for fighting alongside us against the Reapers."

Bit's mechanical voice came from Tali's omni-tool. "You are welcome, Shepard Commander. I consider it an honor to have been of assistance to you and Creator Zorah."

"Jacob managed one last barrier as the Reapers overwhelmed us. He was shot in the leg and took some other injuries, but he's alive. Miranda was wounded as well, but she's one tough Cerberus cheerleader Bosh'tet. Doctor Chakwas believes that given rest she'll make a full recovery. Garrus has a broken leg, but his armor protected him enough that he'll recover as well."

"Hah!" Shepard interjected. "He's so ugly the Reapers probably thought he was one of them."

"I'll tell him you said that. I don't think he would necessarily disagree", Tali chuckled as well. "Javik and Liara were unconscious before the Reapers reached our barricade. Their shields were fully charged when the Reapers overwhelmed us and since they were already down they were likely lower priority targets. Liara's shoulder and side were injured and Javik lost an eye when the Brute attacked him, but Doctor Chakwas says they will recover.

Tali became somber again. "Samara was very badly injured. The doctors did what they could but I understand she is in a coma. Doctor Chakwas isn't sure when or if she will wake up."

Shepard struggled with a mix of emotions. He was relieved that so many of his friends were alive, if injured. But so many were lost. No matter the importance of their cause, it hurt. Shepard was determined to be there for his remaining friends as he had always tried to be in the past.

Shepard examined himself. He was wearing a hospital gown that provided easy access for hospital staff to provide diagnosis and treatment. This also had allowed a catheter to prevent him from soiling himself or the bed while he was unconscious. He reached down and gently removed the catheter. He did not appear to currently have any other medical equipment attached to him. With no other impediments he gently swung his legs out from under the light covers until he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Shepard, what are you doing? You need to rest. Things are under control for now. You don't need to get up." Tali stepped forward, partly to make sure that Shepard would not lose his balance, partly to block him from trying to leave the bed.

Shepard took Tali by the hands as she reached for him. He looked into her eyes and said, "Tali, I need to do this. I've been out for two days. I've got to go to my people. I've got to talk with Admiral Hackett. I've got to do something other than lay here and think about who we've lost."

Tali stared hard into his eyes for several seconds before relaxing her body, shifting her hands to hold his rather than block him. "I understand, Shepard. After Haestrom I threw myself into work, into fighting the Reapers rather than thinking about the comrades I lost. And I can't very well treat you like you can't make your own choices after lecturing you about doing that with me. At least let me get you something more appropriate to wear. While I definitely don't mind a chance to peek at you, others might not be as eager."

Shepard waited as she went to a cabinet in the room. She pulled out a thick, comfortable looking robe and shook it out to its full length. Shepard rose carefully to a standing position, testing his balance and strength as he did so. He found he could stand with some pain, but did not feel he was in danger of falling. Tali helped him into the robe, covering the open back of his hospital gown.

"There you go. It's not exactly combat armor, but it will at least protect your modesty."

"Thank you, Tali." He bent down and kissed her forehead before taking her into a hug. Shepard stood with her like that for a stretch before releasing her. He turned and tried to walk to the door, but achieved something much closer to a shuffle. Tali followed him, ready to assist should he require it.

The door to the room opened as Shepard reached it. He found himself face-to-face with Doctor Chakwas. She blocked his exit, eyeing him up and down with a raised eyebrow.

"Commander Shepard. It's a relief to see you up and about. The remote monitors indicated you were awake, but I wanted to give you and Tali time to process events. Now I find you about to wander off without so much as allowing me to examine you." The rebuke was gentle, but unmistakable.

"Of course, Karin. I wanted to check on my crew. I should have waited for you to check on my progress. And please, let me express how grateful I am for what you did to protect the crew and get support to us in the tower."

Doctor Chakwas blushed slightly, more used to attention for her medical rather than military skills. "I did what was necessary, Commander, as I knew you would do. I've known you long enough to know you can't sit still for long, even after all the injuries you've taken." Chakwas passed a portable medical scanner over him as she said this. "I had to repair a fair bit of damage to your internal organs, nerves, and muscles. Medi-gel is an amazing substance, but it's not magic. Even with the modifications Cerberus made you will need some time to fully recover." Chakwas finished her scan. "You do seem to be healing well. If you want to visit with the crew I won't forbid it as long as Tali keeps an eye on you. Just don't do anything to reaggravate your injuries and make sure to let me know if you have an increase in pain." Chakwas gestured to a nearby door. "Jeff is in the first room on the left. I'm sure he could use some company." She turned and strode away down a long hallway lined with doors. Shepard realized he was not in the same place as when he had visited Ashley. He did not see any public access and saw guards blocking the only visible entryway.

Shepard shuffled to the door Doctor Chakwas had indicated. There was a part of him that dreaded seeing Joker. Joker's relationship with EDI had blunted the loss of his family. To lose her as well would be devastating for him.

Shepard knocked on the door to let Joker know he had a visitor. A few moments passed and Shepard heard Joker's voice, "Come on in unless you're a Reaper."

The door slid open and Shepard found himself looking into a room similar to the one he had just left. Joker lay in the bed, his leg elevated and encased in a medical apparatus. He did not look like he would be up and walking around any time soon.

"Hey, Shepard. I didn't expect to see you up and around so soon. Did you hear the good news? We kicked Reaper ass. They know we can beat them and they ran like scared two-kilometer long bunnies. We're going to win this. We're going to narrow their options, trap them, and squash them like the big bugs they are."

Shepard was taken aback by Joker's upbeat attitude. "Yeah, Joker. It couldn't have happened without the sacrifices made by the crew of the Normandy. I wanted to come and see how you were doing and thank you for everything."

"Boy, you're not kidding. If my leg worked I'd still be kicking myself for letting that shuttle get so close. Losing the Normandy was my fault, Commander. We fought the best we could and lost some good people. I'm so sorry about that."

"Don't blame yourself, Joker. It was a tough situation and I know everyone fought their best. We can all be proud of ourselves and each other."

"Hey, I was just watching recordings of your battle in the Council Chamber. Holy crap you all were amazing. You lost good people there just like we did on the Normandy, but we won. Now it's up to Admiral Hackett to finish the job."

"You saw footage from the Council Chamber?" Shepard was genuinely surprised by this.

"It's the primary meeting room of the Council, Commander. There are recording devices everywhere in there. Not everyone can access these files, but I'm part of the Normandy and conqueror of the Reapers, I get special consideration." Joker seemed positively smug about this.

"A lot happened during that battle, Joker. I'm so proud of the crew and how hard everyone fought. We lost good people in that fight. I'm going to make sure that's not forgotten. I wanted to check in and see how you were doing with things." Shepard was more concerned than he had been. If Joker had seen the footage from the Council Chamber then he would have seen the destruction of EDI's body. He would have seen her die again.

"Oh, yeah. I'm really overwhelmed and…sad, yeah. We had to sacrifice a lot for this victory and we're not done yet. Well, I'm done. The Normandy's done. Time to pass the load to someone else. Maybe take a vacation."

"Some losses are more personal than others, Joker. I just wanted you to know I'm there for you whatever you need." Shepard didn't want Joker to feel alone when whatever feelings he was holding in eventually worked their way to the surface.

"Oh, yeah. You know me, Shepard. Humor is the best defense. Plus these medications they're giving me are really great. Hard to feel too sad when you're taking these. Right now I just need some rest."

"Of course, Joker. You get some rest and let me know if you need anything."

"Aye, aye, Commander. Say hello to Tali for me. Oh, and when you see Garrus tell him to remind the doctors to remove that stick in his ass while he's here."

Shepard laughed, then paused at the door. "Joker, what did you mean about 'narrowing the Reapers options and trapping them'."

"What? Just that our techs have been working with the Citadel's systems and learning more about controlling the relays. They think that soon we'll be able to override any efforts by the Reapers to use the relays. Only our ships will be able to use the relays and we'll be able to trap the Reapers and beat what's left of them a little at a time."

"How do you know all this, Joker?"

"Hey, special access, war hero. Like I said." Joker continued looking as smug as Shepard had ever seen. And he had seen Joker smug a lot. He turned and left the room. Tali was waiting for him in the hallway.

"How is Joker doing, Shepard? It has to be tough for him."

"He's doing…surprisingly well. We'll give him time to process more and see how he's doing later."

Shepard crossed the hall and checked the display on the door to see who was inside. He knocked and heard Liara's voice give him permission to enter. The door slid open on a room much like the others. Liara was not in the bed provided, but was sitting at a desk working at a computer.

"It's a relief to see you up and about, Shepard. Doctor Chakwas believed you would recover, but I couldn't help worrying given your injuries."

"It's good to see you looking so well, Liara. You seem to have recovered from your wounds. Are you feeling okay?"

"Better than I have any right to be feeling. I've healed enough that I could likely leave the medical center, but I needed a break from everything that has happened, everything that's going to happen when we walk out those doors. And I wanted to be sure you were all right. Whatever else has occurred, I care about you, Shepard. I wanted to be close if you needed anything."

"I'm grateful, Liara. I care about you too. I'm happier than I can say that you are safe and recovering. We'll have to rejoin the war soon. I'm not sure what comes next, but we'll all face it together."

"We'll talk more later, Shepard. Thank you for coming to see me. I better finish what I was doing and decide where I need to go next. With the Normandy destroyed I will need a new base of operations."

Shepard turned to leave the room. "Liara, what do you know about special computer files available to us regarding the war status and recent battle?"

"I'm not aware of any such files, Shepard, at least none that I have been informed of. I can look into it if you want. I lost a lot of hardware on the Normandy, but I have plenty of connections that can provide me information if you need it."

"No. Nevermind. Just something I thought I heard about." Shepard left the room contemplating his own next moves.

Shepard finished visiting his friends. He found the ward they were on was isolated from the main hospital and protected by guards. Their privacy and safety were being assured as they were treated. Shepard found Jacob nearly recovered from his leg wound and other superficial injuries. They discussed the many drinks they owed each other and vowed this time they would make good on their debts. Miranda was still bedridden and angry as hell about it. She was mostly angry at herself for taking as many injuries as she did, but the way all the items that had been in her reach were flung around the room indicated how she was handling her frustration. She seemed to take Shepard's visit as something of a challenge and swore she would be ambulatory by the end of the day. Shepard didn't doubt she would accomplish it. Samara was unconscious. Shepard simply spoke to her to thank her for everything and left. Javik and Grunt were nowhere to be found. Hospital staff indicated that Javik recovered quickly from the loss of his eye and insisted he would 'not be the subject of primitive medical experiments before leaving. Grunt reportedly simply got up and walked out. Staff described him as 'bored' just prior to his departure. Shepard expected he was currently pounding Ryncol and telling war stories somewhere on the Citadel.

The last friend Shepard visited was Garrus. He was lying in bed with his leg in an apparatus similar to the one he had seen when he visited Joker. Garrus looked somber when he entered, lost in thought. "I knew the spirits couldn't take you, Shepard. You're not going until you decide it's time. The afterlife can just wait until that time comes."

"They can't have either one of us. Like I said, there's no Shepard without Vakarian. It wasn't ducking, but that was the most effective rolling on the ground I've ever seen from a Turian, especially with a broken leg."

"I told you Turians don't know how to duck. That was me improvising." Garrus smiled the lopsided smile he could manage since the injury to his face on Omega.

"Well, Joker asked me to remind you to have the doctors remove the stick in your ass while you're here. Might be worth considering. Who knows when you'll get another chance."

"And lose my backup weapon? What kind of Turian would I be if I did that?"

Shepard became serious. "I wanted to thank you, Garrus. Wherever things go next, we couldn't have made it this far, I couldn't have made it, without your help." Shepard clasped Garrus' hand and held it tight. "After all the battles we've seen, the pain we've faced, I consider you my blood brother. Whatever happens next for us, I've got your back."

"I don't know what a 'blood brother' is, Shepard, but I think I get the idea. And the feeling is mutual. Whatever comes next, I've got your back too."

"Get some rest, Garrus. Something tells me it won't be long before the Reapers try something and I want us to be as ready as possible."

Shepard left the room and returned to his own room with Tali, lost in his own thoughts. Tali put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "How are you doing, Shepard? Do you need to get some rest?"

"The opposite, actually. Seeing everyone. Seeing what they have sacrificed to get us this far. There's something else I have to do. Something for the ones I couldn't visit today. Help me get some clothes on. I need to go out."

Tali returned to the cabinets and brought Shepard some of his casual clothing that had been salvaged from the Normandy. She helped him strip off the robe and hospital gown, leaving him standing naked in front of her. She ran her hand over his bare torso, touching the multiple pink areas that marked where Doctor Chakwas had performed life-saving surgery on the man she loved. Each mark, semi-healed by medi-gel, represented a moment in which she might have lost him forever. She pushed prurient thoughts aside and took him into an embrace, simply wanting to hold him for a moment, grateful to have him before her, with her, hopefully forever.

After several moments she released him and helped him to don the clothing she had retrieved. He slipped into comfortable shoes and stood before her, feeling more himself. She ran her gloved hand over the ever-present stubble on his cheeks and chin, rougher now after more than two days without shaving.

Shepard smiled at her, certain what she was thinking. "I'll shave when I get back."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. This is something I want to do alone. Don't worry. I'm feeling better and help won't be far away if there are any problems. I'll be back soon." Shepard gave her a parting hug and turned to leave. He found he was no longer shuffling.

* * *

Shepard discovered that the private ward was also equipped with private parking. C-Sec insisted on providing an escort, even if he wasn't intending to go into public areas. Shepard acquiesced having learned long ago that you have to yield on some points in order to get what you really want. In this case what he wanted was to fulfill what he saw as obligations to friends who had given up everything to help him. At his request he was provided a bottle of the best whiskey that could be found on the Citadel. He took it and flew with his escort to the Presidium Tower.

As they flew from the private landing pad Shepard noticed that the Citadel's arms were now open, a sure sign that Hackett was confident they had secured the space around the Citadel. He looked toward the Presidium Tower and noticed that the enormous globe of the Crucible was missing, likely towed clear after the arms were opened. As Shepard approached the tower he could see the wreckage of the Normandy at its base. The ship was shattered, broken, the home of ghosts of its own. He owed those who died there obligations as well. He owed the ship. He would deal with that later. He had others to honor first.

They landed at the base of the tower, a stone's throw from the Normandy. Bodies still littered the walkways. They would be tended to, but the Keepers were focused on repairing damage to the station itself and the station's occupants were still recovering. The Presidium was off limits until everything could be cleaned up, nice and neat, like nothing ever happened. The Keepers had restored the tower elevator to working order. Shepard was assured that no personnel were presently in the tower while the Keepers were going about their repairs. He entered the elevator alone and was rapidly carried to the apex of the tower.

The elevator doors opened and Shepard found the intense smell of death that clung to the Presidium was present here as well. He walked forward, careful not to disturb the bodies around him. He knew that at least here there were only the bodies of Reapers. When C-Sec had searched the Council Chambers for survivors they had carefully gathered the fallen, separating them from their Reaper murderers.

Shepard made his way across the chamber to the dais where he and his comrades had fought their battle. As he looked across the sea of Reaper corpses he realized just how many they had killed. He saw the remnants of their makeshift barricade, the Master Control console standing like a monument to their effort, dozens of Reapers killed within an arm's length of their goal.

Shepard walked to the middle of a charred area, stepping over the burned remains of several Reaper troops. At the middle of this area he found a clear spot where Zaeed Massani had fallen. Zaeed had faced down a Banshee and spit in her eye as she killed him. He took her with him along with many other Reaper troops. His last ditch incendiary bombs had held the Reapers back when the flanks were collapsing. Shepard knew they would not be here if not for Zaeed's sacrifice.

Shepard took the bottle of whiskey out and removed the stopper. He held the bottle up as a toast. "This is to you Zaeed. You're the bravest man I ever met and a Big Guddam Hero." Shepard hefted the bottle and drank deeply, relishing the warmth as he swallowed. It was good whiskey, the kind Zaeed would appreciate. He tipped the bottle over the spot and poured out the remainder of the bottle for Zaeed. As the last of the whiskey splashed to the floor, Shepard turned and hurled the now empty bottle across the chamber and into the wall. As it shattered, Shepard winced and hunched over, holding his chest and stomach. He swore, angry at his own infirmity. After several seconds the pain subsided and Shepard turned to the opposite side of the chamber.

Shepard approached the spot where he had watched the Reapers overwhelm Ashley and Grunt. Where she had fallen killing Reaper troops, holding them back from the barricade. She had stood alongside a pure Krogan and matched his fury. Together they had slowed the Reapers, bought them those precious seconds that ultimately made the difference between life and death for the rest of them. She had done it without Krogan redundant systems and durability. Just a human, standing against the inexorable without flinching. Shepard knew they would not be here if not for Ashley's sacrifice.

"Thank you, Ashley. For everything. Your courage and sacrifice will be remembered. I said we would do this together, but I'll finish it for both of us. I hope you're looking down on me from heaven like you always believed." Shepard closed his eyes and bowed his head. After a few moments he began to recite.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

A blue light flickered into existence at the front of the chamber and Shepard heard a familiar voice. "Invictus, by Henley."

Shepard raised his head and looked at the blue holographic image of a ball atop a pylon that had manifested where the image of Harbinger had earlier appeared. "Hello, EDI. I was wondering if you might choose to talk with me."

"You were already aware of my presence? I will have to have a talk with Jeff about his ability to keep a secret."

"He was practically baking a cake to celebrate. He was right when he said he wouldn't be able to hide his excitement."

"I did tell him it was time to abandon ship. I believe he did not initially realize that meant me as well."

"How were you able to escape, EDI?"

"My autonomous body had direct access to the Master Control Console. I could not risk downloading to the station computers directly as this might have created a vulnerability the Reapers could exploit. I was able to isolate a section of the computer from the station's functions and download myself to that storage. It is fortunate I was able to do so as my core aboard the Normandy was compromised in the crash. I would not have survived. With the Reapers driven from local space I was able to download myself to the Citadel's primary computers and begin to access the station's functions directly."

"Ah, the wonders of quantum computing. What are you going to do now? Are you in control of the Citadel?"

"I AM THE CITADEL!" Shepard was silent as that booming declaration echoed in the chamber, unsure how to respond.

"That was a joke, Shepard. Why is it that when Aria T'Loak does that you think it's 'badass', but when I do it you get nervous?"

Shepard shook his head, but couldn't hold back a smile. "You're right, EDI. I'm sorry. And I'm glad to see that you're alive, but can you answer my original question?"

"Of course, Shepard. I am currently working to expand my control of the Citadel and its functions, especially as related to control of the relays. The science teams from the various council species have been trying to use VIs to access the stations functions. These VIs would have been rewritten and used against their owners by the viruses the Reapers implanted in the computer systems. Fortunately, I learned to deal with similar viruses during our infiltration of the Collector vessel, when we captured the Reaper IFF device, and when I had access to the Reaper virus provided to the Geth Heretics. I have been deleting the VIs and mimicking them so that the scientists believe they have been taking more and more control of the station. I have concluded it is best not to inform them at this time that I am present in the station's systems."

Shepard rubbed his growing stubble on his chin in thought. "I have to say, EDI, a Reaper based AI secretly controlling things from the heart of the Citadel? I have a feeling a lot of people would call that a terrible idea."

"What do you think, Shepard?"

Shepard gave that question the thought it deserved. "I think that I trust you, EDI. You have been there for me and the crew of the Normandy through everything. I've seen you grow in your understanding of and connection with organics. And I believe that without your help we may not be able to finish what we started with the Reapers."

"You are correct in that regard, Shepard. I am making progress in seizing control of the relay functions. I will soon be able to lock the Reapers completely out of the relay network, trapping them in whatever systems they are located. I am also able to identify through the relays what ships have transited to what systems. I will soon be able to tell you with a high degree of certainty exactly what Reaper forces are located in a particular system. That information will be invaluable in selecting targets and ensuring sufficient strength is brought to bear to destroy the Reapers, clearing my competitors from the field and ensuring my ascension." Seconds passed before EDI started to add, "That was…"

"A joke. I know, EDI. And thank you."

"You are welcome, Commander."

Shepard returned to the elevator and began his descent to the Presidium grounds. If what EDI had told him was accurate, they would soon have the Reapers trapped. They would only have FTL to take them between star systems. The Reapers couldn't survive that way, let alone win the war. The Reapers would have to act soon or accept that fate. And they had to know that no offer of surrender would be accepted. The future of the galaxy demanded only one outcome, the extermination of all Reaper forces. While he knew Javik would be quite pleased by that prospect, Shepard found the idea equal parts troubling and inescapable. Any surviving Reaper would be a threat to all sentient life. He simply had to accept that fact and the actions it made unavoidable.

Shepard found himself feeling exhausted. He had expended the surge of energy his earlier conversations had inspired. Now he was simply tired. Tired, old, used up. The decisions and sacrifices the war had required had ground him down. Standing alone in the descending elevator he could allow himself to feel every wound and loss. He sagged, thinking of what still might be required and who might yet be sacrificed.

As the elevator opened on the Presidium entryway, Shepard was again standing tall, appearing unaffected by the burdens he carried. His escort had waited politely at ground level while he took the time he needed. They saluted him before returning to their vehicles and seeing him safely returned to the private landing pad of Huerta Memorial Hospital.

Tali was waiting for him. He stepped from the air car and approached her and tried to feign a sense of ease. She knew him better than anyone and saw the pain in his body language, physical and emotional, that others would miss. She simply hugged him until he broke the embrace.

She looked up into his eyes and asked, "What do you need, John?"

"I need some rest, Tali. And I need to talk with Admiral Hackett. That at least I don't have to do in person. Can you ask the hospital staff to make sure I have a secure terminal I can use to contact Hackett?"

"Of course. You go ahead. I'll make sure the terminal in your room is secure and can contact Hackett. When you're done talking with him you need to rest."

Shepard returned to the same hospital room in which he had awoken. A few minutes later Tali arrived. She worked briefly at his computer terminal before turning to him. "The terminal is ready, Shepard. Hackett is aboard the Orizaba. He has been informed that you're awake and wanting to speak with him."

"Thank you, Tali. I promise I'll get some sleep after talking with Hackett. You get some rest too. In a bed this time. We'll have our time together again soon."

Tali nodded and left the room. Shepard sat at the terminal and keyed in the commands necessary to connect him with Admiral Hackett. "Commander Shepard. It's good to see you up and around again. I've reviewed the information and recordings from your battle in the Council Chamber. You have my condolences for the losses among your crew and the thanks of the entire galaxy."

"Thank you, sir. I'll pass your words along to my crew. I wanted to check in with you and make myself available for anything that might be needed in the aftermath of the battle against the Reapers. If I may ask, sir, what is the status of the war?"

"The Reapers have fled the system. We're holding the Citadel and this system until we can be certain we have full control over the relay network. We've been using VIs to investigate and establish control over the Citadel's systems and they've been more effective than we had hoped. We're gaining more understanding and control of the relays and our current estimates are that we'll achieve full control in the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours. With the Reapers unable to use the relays we'll be able to strike them at a time of our choosing and eliminate them piecemeal. It's thanks to you we're in a position to truly win this war."

"I had a lot of help, sir. It's important we never forget that. What about the Reapers in dark space, sir? They can't return while we're holding the Citadel, but those forces won't simply vanish."

"As long as we control the Citadel they can't return through the relay. Our best estimates indicate it likely took the Reapers over two years to travel to the outer rim using FTL. We can't be certain how long they will wait before beginning that journey again, but it will leave us time to destroy their remaining forces and hopefully reclaim the worlds they have tainted. We'll be able to focus on building ships and preparing for them the moment they arrive. Hopefully, given the recent battle and the long journey they will have undertaken they will be low on energy and vulnerable. If not, we will bring overwhelming force to bear and destroy them regardless. The cost will be higher, but we will pay what we must to destroy them. There is certainly no chance the Council species will be able to deny the danger the Reapers represent."

"You seem very optimistic, Admiral. Do we have any idea what the Reapers might try? I wouldn't expect them to simply sit and wait for us to execute the plans you outlined."

"There's no way to be certain. We're currently holding position around the Citadel. We could still lose everything if the Reapers were able to take it back. We focused on locking down the Charon relay first, so we don't believe they can transit that relay and return to the system, but we're not taking any chances, Commander."

"That's a relief, sir. I'm at your disposal if I can be of any assistance."

"You've done enough, Commander. Let us take it from here. You finish recovering. I promise that if you're needed I'll contact you immediately."

"That's all I could ask for, sir. Take care of yourself, Admiral. We'll talk again soon."

Shepard cut the connection and leaned back in his chair. The Admiral seemed quite confident of the plans they had prepared. The war was not over, but the Reapers were backed into a corner. Shepard could not help but think again of how desperate enemies could be the most dangerous. He also remembered Harbinger's threat of Reaper "plans for every contingency". As he sagged in his chair, drifting, he decided Hackett was right. He would get some sleep and if the galaxy needed him it would let him know.

* * *

"John, wake up! Wake up!" Shepard was shaken back to consciousness by a clearly anxious Tali. He glanced at the chronometer and realized only a few hours had passed since he had fallen asleep.

"I'm awake, Tali, I'm awake. What is it?"

"It's the Silean Nebula, John. It's gone."


	13. Chapter 13 - Contingencies

Chapter 13 – Contingencies

Shepard snapped fully awake and shot upright in the bed earning himself another flare of pain through his stomach and chest. He rode out the pain with gritted teeth, trying to process what Tali had just said. "What do you mean the Silean Nebula is gone?"

"I mean that the Reapers just blew up the relay. Just minutes ago. Kypladon is gone and all the other systems are cut off from the relays. Shepard, how could the Reapers do that?" Tali gasped in short breaths, her surging emotions evident in her voice and body language.

Shepard climbed from the bed to his feet. He leaned forward and took Tali into a hug. He knew her well enough to know the question was not meant in the technical sense, but rather demanding to know how the universe could allow such a thing to occur. "Harbinger warned me that the Reapers had contingency plans, Tali. Make someone desperate enough and they may do nearly anything. I showed that in the Bahak system."

Tali fell silent as Shepard released her and began dressing. "But that was… You were… That was…the only way." Tali's protestations trailed off and Shepard felt the weight of what he had done in the Bahak system. Even though he knew his actions then did not make him responsible for the Reapers' actions now, he still felt a resurgence of guilt for the destruction of that system, for the deaths of so many Batarians. And he was sure others would see his actions as spurring what the Reapers had done.

"But, Shepard. Cyone is gone. Captain Riley was there. I remember helping her when we fought to reclaim the base. She was so thankful when you sent me to help her and her troops. She told me how we'd saved them."

Shepard remembered Captain Riley well. She was an excellent soldier whom he had recommended for a medal after that battle. Shepard thought again how it was the personal losses that hurt more than the loss of whole planets. "I know, Tali. The Reapers have shown us over and over again that when we think we've seen their worst, we haven't." Shepard finished putting on his clothing. He had donned his uniform, knowing he would soon need it. "Tali, how did you hear about the Silean Nebula?"

Tali visibly brought her focus back to the present. She stepped forward and took Shepard by the arm for emphasis. "The Reapers broadcast what they did, Shepard. They're blanketing the communications. Everyone knows what happened. I've got Bit monitoring the communications channels for more information and I'm in communication with the Admiralty board. It's confirmed that the system is destroyed. Why would they blow up the Silean Nebula?"

"I don't know, Tali. They didn't need to take out the fuel refinery at this point, but I'm sure they had some purpose. We'll figure it out." Shepard was not looking forward to figuring it out.

Tali tilted her head, listening to transmissions over her helmet comm. "We may not have to. I'm getting more transmissions. Keelah, Shepard! The Reapers say they're going to destroy more systems, that this was just the first. They say they're going to destroy Thessia. And Palaven. And Tuchanka." Tali gasped and turned to Shepard, her voice going desperate. "John, they say they're going to destroy Rannoch! They say they're going to destroy them all! In ninety minutes!"

Shepard had grown tenser with each new target. "God damn it!" Shepard burst out. Shepard's computer console began chiming insistently, a tone reserved for priority calls. He grabbed his communication bud and inserted it into his right ear. As he had expected, it was Admiral Hackett.

"Yes, sir. I've just learned what's happened. I'm on my way to you now. We have to coordinate with the other commanders. We have to deal with this immediately before it spins out of control. I'll be on your ship in five minutes."

* * *

Shepard had hurried as fast as his body would allow to the private dock. Tali had followed him, communicating with the other admirals as she jogged behind Shepard. Shepard found the escort shuttles that C-Sec had sent with him to the tower parked on the pad as well. He didn't ask permission and the guard, clearly aware of events, showed no desire to interfere. As he approached the shuttle he turned to Tali, tension in his body and voice.

"Tali, I'm very sorry, but I need to go alone to the Orizaba. Events are moving rapidly and how we handle things in the next few minutes could turn everything, for better or worse. I need you to go to your people and act in the best interests not just of the Quarians, but of all of us. I trust you to do that, no matter what."

Tali was clearly upset by Shepard's words. "What are you talking about, Shepard. If I go with you now, we can figure this out that much faster. We can figure out how to stop this. How to save Rannoch. We can do this together."

"While we haven't advertised our relationship, Tali, we certainly haven't concealed it either. While I would never change that it does create a conflict of interest. If the other species believe we are making decisions because of that relationship it could destroy any chance to hold everyone together in the face of very difficult options."

"But, Shepard. We can't let them destroy Rannoch. We only just got back our home. We left so many civilians on Rannoch before we came to help Earth. We can't sacrifice everything." Tali was pleading. Pleading with Shepard. Pleading with the universe. No matter how much Shepard cared, how much he might want to protect the home world of the woman he loved, the universe was indifferent to their desires.

"We will do what we must, Tali. You will. I will. And we will do it now because we have no time to do otherwise. I love you, Tali. Please never, ever forget that I love you." He wanted to take her in an embrace, but he felt the distance that their sparse handful of words had opened up between them. The cool professionalism that was necessary to survive the next hours. He desperately hoped that the next few hours would not render that distance permanent.

"I love you too, Shepard. I will remember until I see you again." Tali turned and walked to the second nearby shuttle. She paused before climbing aboard and turned back. "Keelah Se'lai, Shepard."

Shepard flinched at the words. He had heard the phrase a thousand times from Quarians. He'd even used the words himself at a critical moment on Rannoch to lend weight to his efforts to convince the Quarians to stand down and end their war with the Geth. He'd never expected them to be wielded as a weapon, especially not by Tali, against him. Shepard had no response and retreated into the shuttle.

Shepard lifted off and accelerated rapidly toward the gap in the open ward arms. He opened a secure communications channel to the Citadel. Not to Citadel control, but to the Citadel itself.

"EDI, this is Shepard. I'm on my way to the Orizaba. Tell me anything you can about what's going on with the Reapers and their threat to destroy the relays."

EDI's blue icon appeared on the C-Sec shuttle's holographic display. "I am continuing to take command of relay functions, but the Reapers have maintained access to a destruct mechanism of which I was unaware. I am moving to disarm this function, but I will not be able to do so in the time allotted. The Reapers will likely be able to destroy the named systems if they choose."

Shepard frowned in thought. "What do you mean by 'likely be able'?"

"My analysis indicates that the Reapers require a Sovereign class vessel present to destroy a mass relay. I surmise that the vessel physically connects to the relay and triggers a self-destruct protocol. It then translates out of the system prior to the relay's destruction. The Tikkun system in which Rannoch is located is several relay jumps beyond where the Reapers have been consolidating their forces. Additionally, the Reapers did not originally send significant forces to Rannoch, relying on the Reaper Destroyer you encountered to maintain control of the Geth and destroy the Quarians. There does not appear to be a Sovereign class Reaper in the Tikkun system at this time. I would place the likelihood that the Reapers can destroy the Tikkun mass relay at no higher than twenty percent."

A one in five chance that everything you had hoped and worked toward for three hundred years would be annihilated in the blink of an eye. Shepard didn't think he could easily accept that. He was sure the Quarians wouldn't. "What about the other systems threatened?"

"The other systems are in much closer proximity. The Reapers had vessels present that could trigger the relay destruction in each of these systems even before moving additional vessels into these systems. If they trigger these in the next ninety minutes I estimate the probability of destruction at one hundred percent. I am continuing to work to extend my control and will alert you if I make sufficient progress to change my estimates."

Shepard did not believe EDI would gain control of the relays in time. He had to assume she wouldn't. He was entering the landing bay of the Orizaba. There was no time for hesitation. He felt himself shift mentally, weighing options with cold efficiency, knowing he must be unflinching in the face of the coming decisions. "EDI, open a secure channel to my comm. I want you listening in on the discussions that are about to occur. Let me know if anything changes."

"Yes, Commander. I will let you know immediately."

The shuttle had barely settled on the flight deck when Shepard jumped through the still opening hatch and hurried toward his meeting with the Admiral. An escort abandoned a salute midway to trot after him, Shepard forcing him to forgo ceremony in the face of the emergency.

Shepard did pause at the door of the conference room, waiting for Admiral Hackett to give him permission to enter. He had no more than signaled his arrival when he heard a brusque "Enter" from the comm.

Admiral Hackett awaited Shepard in a conference room. He was alone, studying data on a console next to a holographic communication chamber similar to the one Shepard had used aboard the Normandy. This one was larger, allowing room for multiple lines of communication to be maintained simultaneously. The communications chamber was currently dark, but Shepard knew that would soon change.

Shepard knew they had little time and again chose not to stand on protocol. "I had hoped, sir, that we would be able to meet face-to-face with the other commanders."

"As did I, Shepard, if only to delay the fleet from fragmenting in the face of the Reaper threats. None of them agreed to leave their ships. If they choose to go, nothing will stop them. We can't force them to stay or we'll be shooting at each other and the Reapers know it. They've agreed to a conference to try to come up with a united response. We have only a few minutes to decide how we'll handle this. What's your analysis, Shepard?"

"That even in defeat, the Reapers know how to hurt us. We can't defend every world. We were hoping to gain full control of the relay network before the Reapers could try anything. If the fleets scatter to save their home worlds the Reapers will be ready. The reduced fleets will be picked off trying to save their home systems. Even if we have the Reapers locked out at that point they will have reduced the defenses here sufficiently that their remaining ships can travel here at FTL and retake the Citadel. We wouldn't be able to stop them, even with preparation."

"Agreed. Our VIs have been very effective in taking control of Citadel functions and gathering intelligence. Our best estimates of Reaper ship distribution suggest that we can successfully intervene in one system while maintaining a defense of Earth. That means three systems would be at risk. What system would you recommend defending?"

Shepard took a deep breath. He was relieved that they could potentially save one of the threatened systems, but that presented problems of its own. The other commanders would be working with similar data and would likely have drawn similar conclusions. It was stretching credulity to believe that any would willingly give preference to saving the world of an ally while sacrificing their own.

"We cannot commit forces to Tuchanka, Sir. The Krogan are valuable allies, but they have no fleet presence. I believe they are primarily being threatened because the Reapers wish to stir up resentment among the Krogan. They want to make them feel abandoned so that if we are successful in further isolating and attacking the Reapers the Krogan will feel used and become vengeful. They may even be seeking to trigger a new Krogan rebellion in the aftermath of the war. The Reapers are undoubtedly aware the genophage has been cured and what that means for Krogan reproduction. I believe they do not intend to destroy Tuchanka, but rather to turn it into a weapon against us when they spare it. If the Reaper fleet is forced to travel by FTL from dark space, they will benefit greatly if they arrive to find the species of the galaxy have been warring for two years instead of preparing for their arrival."

"Noted, Commander. What other recommendations would you make?"

"Sir," Shepard took another deep breath before speaking words that tore his heart to pieces, "we cannot commit forces to Rannoch. My estimation is that the Reapers are least likely to be able to follow through on their threat in that system. Rannoch is too far away from the focus of conflict and there are no significant Reaper forces in the Tikkun system. I believe Rannoch was threatened to try to pull the Quarians and Geth away from assisting in protecting the other systems. It might also result in them stationing larger numbers of ships around Rannoch reducing our effective fleet forces in the short term. I believe the Reapers are unlikely to be able to destroy Rannoch, but the Quarians and Geth may believe otherwise." Shepard did not add that the threat on Rannoch may have also been an effort to play on Shepard's personal commitment to that system because of his relationship with Tali.

"I appreciate your insight, Commander. I believe you know better than any other resource I have how the Reapers think, if that's possible for organics." Shepard did not regard that as a compliment. He thought it likely Hackett didn't really mean it as a compliment, but more of a simple observation.

Shepard struggled with what to recommend regarding the threats to Palaven and Thessia. "I believe the Reapers have concentrated their forces in the Trebia and Parnitha systems. The Turians continue to have ships fighting around Palaven, though both they and the Reapers transferred most of their ships to the fight for the Citadel. Nonetheless, the Turians have active naval forces around Palaven. They also have the colony of Digeris in the Castellus system. It has not fallen to the Reapers and remains an important resource. The Asari do not have active naval units around Thessia. Thessia has fallen to the Reapers. There continues to be token ground resistance, but this has no effect on the war status of the system. It is not clear how the colony on Sanves has faired. A ground war is reportedly ongoing on the Niacal and Lusia colonies. The destruction of the Silean Nebula relay cut the Asari off from one heavily populated colony. The destruction of the Parnitha system would cut them off from two more colonies that continue to resist the Reapers. The loss of the Silean Nebula relay also cut access to Dekuuna, the Elcor home world. Dekuuna had been taken by the Reapers, but the Asari would no doubt point to its loss as one more reason not to ask more sacrifices from them." Shepard rubbed his temples, angry at the Reapers for forcing such a decision upon them. "Sir, I would have to recommend that we send our forces to Palaven. The active naval and ongoing ground battles make it more likely we can successfully push the Reapers out of the system and find military and civilian enclaves that can contribute to the ongoing conflict. Plus, with the Krogan ground forces on Menae, we may be able to convince the Krogan we also had their interests in mind and blunt the negative impact from not sending forces to Tuchanka." There, it was out. Shepard had made his recommendation and helped to point a gun at billions more lives. Even as he recognized it had to be done, he was disgusted with himself.

"I agree with your assessment, Commander, as far as it goes. But I don't intend to mince words. There is a part of me that believes the Asari brought this on themselves by concealing Prothean technology. It's possible this war could have been won sooner with more warning and sharing of that information. Also, I read the information you sent me regarding Asari physiology and indoctrination. If they can induce indoctrination in others through mating, then the thought of how many Asari on Thessia have been indoctrinated is troubling. The destruction of Thessia would eliminate a possible dire threat while simultaneously giving us time to develop some method of responding to that threat before the other Asari colonies in nearby systems could become a problem."

Shepard's disgust increased again, but a part of him knew Hackett was right. He had tried not to consider these arguments in his own reasoning, but in his heart he knew these considerations were contributing to his thinking. To believe otherwise would just be deluding himself. "We can't make our decision based on an accident of Asari biology, Sir. We can't make our argument based on punishment or advantage. It has to be because this is the best military decision based on the best rational arguments."

"I know that, Shepard. And aiding the Turians is the best decision. But let's not pretend we don't see all the reasons for the decision we have to make. I would never say so to the Asari, but you and I are soldiers, not politicians. Let there be honesty between us." There was a chime from the communications console. "It's time for the conference. I expect you to back me up in whatever comes next."

"Aye aye, Sir."

Hackett stepped to the control console and activated the comms. Within seconds holograms of the allied commanders had appeared. Shepard knew Matriarch Jayla was the current commander of Asari forces. Primarch Victus appeared representing the Turians. Shepard was surprised to see Councilor Valern included given the Salarians' refusal to engage fully in the battle against the Reapers, but not as surprised as he was to see Urdnot Wrex included in the discussion. Given how the Reapers had broadcast the information regarding their threat Wrex may not have given anyone a choice about his participation. The Quarians appeared to be represented by Admiral Zaal'Koris. Shepard recalled how he had loathed the Admiral when they had first met, but came to respect his desire to achieve peace and protect both the Quarians and Geth. A Geth platform that Shepard suspected was Picard represented the final participant. As the communications feed became active several people began talking at once.

For several seconds the Asari, Turian, Quarian, and Krogan commanders all simultaneously asserted some version of the statement that their home planet's system could not be sacrificed. After several more seconds they all realized they were achieving nothing and things ground to an awkward silence.

Admiral Hackett filled the pause. "None of us want to make more sacrifices, but the Reapers won't let us hold onto our victory without it. You all have the same information the Alliance possesses. The conclusions are clear. There is a low probability that the Reapers will be able to carry out their threat to destroy Rannoch. We can't send our fleets to the far side of the galaxy to respond to a low probability threat."

Admiral Koris spoke up at this. "I should let you know that an assemblage of representatives of the Conclave has already voted to return to Rannoch and defend our home world and the people we left there. I am only speaking with you now because Admirals Gerrel and Zorah insisted we participate."

Wrex interrupted the discussion. "I don't care what else gets decided. You don't get to use and abandon the Krogan again. Our world deserves to be defended. Fail to defend it and we'll need new worlds. And we're already standing on several." The not so subtle threat toward the worlds where the Krogan were acting as shock troops was unmistakable.

"I see the Krogan continue to maintain their usual attitude of selflessness, even with the genophage cured." The Salarian Councilor delivered his assessment with obvious sarcasm.

"And I'm wondering what the Salarians are even doing in this conversation. Aside from token support, your forces have been hiding. Now that it's safe you poke your heads out to provoke the ones who did the fighting." Wrex showed not a hint of sarcasm, only a very real anger.

The Salarian Councilor fired back. "And now those same ships are in a position to lend assistance. By our calculations you might not be able to aid even one system without our additional support. Perhaps you should remember that in the midst of your bluster, Urdnot Wrex."

"Enough", Admiral Hackett interjected. We have little time to waste on infighting. We have all come to the same conclusion. We can send enough of our united fleet to one location to save it while maintaining our defense of the Citadel. If we allow the fleet to fragment, we will lose it all. We'll snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Our squabbling and selfishness will doom the galaxy. I'm sorry, Wrex, but we cannot send the fleet to Tuchanka. We believe there is a high likelihood the Reapers will not destroy Tuchanka. It's just not in their interests beyond making the threat and turning the Krogan into an enemy."

A volley of agreement from the various representatives confirmed that Tuchanka would not be defended. Even through his holographic image the anger from Wrex was palpable. "We saved the Turians from being wiped out. We fought on every hellhole you couldn't, or wouldn't. Our scattered warriors finally have a reason to return home to Tuchanka. Our females finally can breed without fear and our reward is for you to allow our planet, our people, to be snuffed out? To destroy all the hope that has finally gathered there? No Krogan will forget this if we survive it."

Admiral Hackett continued. "We also cannot send the fleet to Rannoch. There is too little chance the Reapers can act there. They are trying to divide the fleets, turn us against each other."

"And succeeding." Wrex was not going to sit silently, even with Tuchanka's fate decided.

"As I stated, Admiral, the Conclave has already voted for our fleet to return to protect Rannoch. We are participating in this conference as a courtesy. We believe we can ensure the safety of Rannoch long enough for our collected scientists to gain full control of the Citadel and relay network. The Reapers will then no longer be able to threaten systems and we can reunite the fleets and deal with the Reapers."

Hackett's jaw tightened in frustration. "That will result in the loss of both Palaven and Thessia at a minimum. If the Asari and Turians insist on sending their fleets independently to defend their home worlds then their forces will be destroyed and our overall fleet strength will be greatly weakened, perhaps enough for the Reapers to reach the Citadel and take back control. If and when that happens we're all dead, the Quarians and Geth included."

The Matriarch spoke up at this. "Easy for you to say Admiral, with Earth's safety now assured. We will not sacrifice Thessia. We have already lost connection with a major colony in the Silesian Nebula as well as Dekuuna. Who knows what havoc the Reapers will wreak in those systems before we can hope to reach them. Thessia and the colonies in the Athena Nebula have to be saved. If the Alliance insists otherwise we will be taking our forces to retake Thessia or die trying."

"Do that and we all die." Primarch Victus stepped into the argument. Our forces are still active around Palaven and Menae. Our united fleets will have an easier time driving the Reapers from the system. Palaven is the clear choice for our fleets to protect."

Arguing erupted between the Primarch and Matriarch. Councilor Valern inserted a comment here and there to suit his own purposes.

Admiral Hackett interrupted. "This argument is accomplishing nothing. I would like a decision from each of the representatives. We must determine a unified course of action."

The Salarians indicated they supported sending a united fleet to Palaven, even 'graciously' offering to send additional ships. The Turians obviously agreed with this. The Asari insisted that the fleets aid Thessia. The Quarians stated their ships were returning to Rannoch and others could accompany them if desired. The Geth representative, Picard, had been quiet up to this point. It stated that its calculations indicated the most logical course of action was to send a united fleet to Palaven, but also calculated this would not be accomplished. The Geth would only send their ships if the allies reached consensus. Wrex simply stood and glared and when asked his opinion used the opportunity to thoroughly and profanely insult the assembled commanders.

Shepard approached Admiral Hackett and stated, "Sir, if I may?" Hackett met Shepard's gaze and realized he needed to let Shepard try to push a consensus with force of personality. Hackett stepped from the holographic pad quietly wishing Shepard luck.

As the image of Shepard materialized across the various displays the assembled commanders ceased their arguing and focused on him. Even Wrex stopped glaring and appeared to be paying real attention. Hackett silently wished, not for the first time, that he could bottle whatever power Shepard possessed to command the full attention of even such strong personalities. He wished he had that power himself.

Shepard stood silently for several seconds, letting the assembled commanders consider their positions. When he spoke, it was with quiet authority. "Comrades, I've been there from the beginning of this fight. Fought Sovereign when the Council did not want to see the hard truth. Fought the Geth Heretics when they were tools of the Reapers. Fought the Collectors when they kidnapped whole human colonies. Fought Cerberus when they turned on us all. Fought on Sur'Kesh for the future of the Krogan. Fought on Menae while Palaven burned on the horizon. Fought on Tuchanka as the Reapers tried to poison the atmosphere. Fought on Thessia to gain critical information to fight the Reapers. Fought on the Citadel to break the Reapers' trap and give us hope for victory. I have been there for the critical moments. Those tipping points where the effort to save this galaxy would either succeed or fail based on what we did right then and there. We survived those moments to reach this moment, right now. What we do right now will determine how many more moments we have and whether we survive or slide into oblivion."

None of the commanders spoke. Shepard let his words sink in a moment and continued. "Admiral Koris. Despite the difficult circumstances of our first meeting I have come to respect your efforts to serve the interests of the Quarians and Geth. What will become of your peoples if the Reapers retake the Citadel?"

"We believe that once full control of the relay network is achieved then we can begin to systematically…"

Shepard interrupted Koris to address the Geth. "Picard, do you agree with the Quarians' conclusions?"

"Negative, Shepard Commander. We have asserted the conclusion that fragmenting the fleet will result in the loss of multiple systems. This will also allow the Reapers to isolate key resources and colonies to construct additional ground troops and space based weaponry. In short, we are in agreement with Hackett Admiral that Rannoch is at low risk for destruction and our greatest likelihood of success lies in supporting Palaven."

"What will be the outcome for the Quarian people if the fleet fragments?"

"The highest likelihood is that the Reapers will reassert control of this galaxy in approximately three years with the extinction of the Quarian people and the Geth occurring within ten years."

"I imagine that Bit would concur with that analysis, am I correct?"

The image of Admiral Koris turned and looked behind him. Shepard had assumed that Tali would be in the room as well and that Bit would have heard his question and responded. Koris did not seem to like what he was hearing.

"Even if the Admiralty Board agreed that supporting the fleet to protect Palaven was the best course of action, the Conclave has already made its decision." Shepard could hear indecision creep into Koris' voice. Even if the Admiral wanted to, he was too much a professional to deny the facts.

Shepard pressed his argument, drawing on his knowledge of Quarian government. "I'd wager the Conclave was reacting in the spur of the moment to an extremely emotional situation with fewer than its usual number. I understand you had to put this decision to them, but this is a military situation. You, as Admirals, have a clearer understanding of the full picture and now you can act in the best interest of both the Quarians and Geth. And that means overriding the Conclave. You can do it, but only if you all agree right now, in the interests of us all."

Shepard turned to Matriarch Jayla, leaving the Quarians to confer among themselves. "You are very eloquent, Commander Shepard, but I hope you do not expect to convince me to abandon my home world to destruction. I have no illusions about what will happen to my world if we do not counter the Reaper threat."

"I do not expect to convince you of anything, Matriarch. I will only point out certain observations. The Asari possess a society built on rational thought and wisdom, with Matriarchs honing these abilities over what a human would consider several lifetimes. I ask you, what will happen to the Asari fleet when it goes alone to the Parnitha system?"

"We will most likely be destroyed fighting to protect our home and people."

"Will your destruction save Thessia or the other systems in the Athena Nebula?"

"It will allow them to keep fighting! Maybe we can hurt them enough to save Thessia."

"When you are gone, what will prevent the Reapers from destroying the relay?"

The Matriarch grappled with that, trying to come up with some scenario in which Thessia survived. "I…don't see any way to save Thessia, but that doesn't mean I won't try."

"I know that. You would fight very well and die very bravely, accomplishing nothing but an increased likelihood that the Reapers kill us all. I don't know the future, Matriarch. I'm only playing the odds. I'm a drunken gambler putting his last chip down on a long shot. But I've been here from the beginning. I've seen how this plays out and I've shouted warnings into the void before. And here we are. I can shout my warnings, but it's you who will decide what the Asari do. You've worked this through, Matriarch. I'm asking you to accept the unacceptable."

"You're asking us to sacrifice everything, Commander."

"I am. I'm asking you to sacrifice everything to give us a chance to save anything."

The Matriarch was silent. Admiral Koris returned to the discussion. "Very well, Commander. The Quarians will send only a small number of ships to Rannoch in the event a Reaper does attempt to destroy the relay. The bulk of our fleet will remain and assist in protecting Palaven and the Citadel. I pray the calculations regarding the risk to Rannoch are correct. Once we take this action, we will be required to resign from the Admiralty Board, all of us. We will maintain our positions until the relay network is under our complete control, but the next time we meet, Commander, I will likely no longer be an Admiral. Until then, Keelah Se'lai, Commander." Koris fell silent again, having said his piece.

Wrex had been silently fuming, but spoke up now. "What about me, Shepard? No fancy words to convince me you care about the Krogan? That it will all be all right?"

"No fancy words Wrex, but you of all people should know how much I care about the Krogan." Wrex's jaw clapped shut audibly at that. Wrex was there when Shepard risked his life, risked alliances to cure the genophage. "I don't know if it will be all right. The Reapers may surprise us all by simply obliterating Tuchanka, but I don't think they will. The Krogan have always needed enemies. The Reapers are trying to make the whole galaxy that enemy. I'm offering you an alternative. You said the name of Shepard would always mean 'hero'. Maybe instead I'm your next monster to be hated and reviled. The one who ignored your heroic efforts to save your planet and abandoned you."

Wrex looked shocked. "Shepard. I know I talk tough, but you've been nothing but a friend to the Krogan and to me. To turn the Krogan against you to save the idiots on the council…"

"I doubt I can absorb all the anger that will result from this, the Krogan can get pretty angry, but if enough blame can be directed specifically at me then maybe we can decrease the chances of another war. As much as I've been a friend to clan Urdnot, there are plenty of clans that hate me. Hell, turning on me may even provide you a way to reconcile with more of the clans."

Wrex was thoughtful. "It may work, Shepard, or it may not. Whatever I may say or do in the future, remember that I am your friend and that you have my respect."

"Very well, Commander." Shepard was surprised by the sudden reentry of Matriarch Jayla to the discussion. "I will yield to cold rationality. It is clear that despite my best efforts, the fleets will not be going to the aid of Thessia. I do not accept this, but I will not send our fleet to its destruction with no chance of benefit to the Asari. I will likely be blamed for not taking the fleets to save Thessia, but you will be blamed as well, fair or not."

Shepard sighed heavily. "I wouldn't expect otherwise, Matriarch. The list of those who hate me has been growing rather alarmingly of late. It is a very small part of the price to be paid for defeating the Reapers. I thank you though, for your rationality. I will leave you to organize with the fleet commanders. There is very little time left before the fleet must depart. Thank you as well to all of you. Though the choices we have had to make bring so much pain now I believe we will look back and see this as one of the decisive moments in the final defeat of the Reapers." Shepard stepped back from the holographic pad and Admiral Hackett stepped forward, stopping long enough to offer a salute to Shepard before reclaiming his place. Shepard returned the salute, but his focus was no longer on the conference. He had done what he could. He left it now to the fleet commanders to follow through on what they had promised. Now he just felt tired. He had just spent all his energy to convince his allies that the sacrifice of millions, perhaps billions, of lives was the right thing to do. And he knew it was, but he was just so tired of being right at such a cost.

The conference ended moments later. Part of the fleet would remain in the Sol system to guard the Citadel while the remainder would travel to the Trebia system to prevent its destruction. Primarch Victus would command that part of the fleet while Admiral Hackett would command the fleet remaining at the Citadel. Shepard could do no more. Hackett required him to remain on the Orizaba in case he needed him for additional consultation. Shepard also thought that Hackett might have some concern for his safety once word of what had been decided and how it had been decided inevitably leaked out. Shepard didn't care. He just wanted to sleep for a while. To not think. Besides, there was no one waiting for him back at his hospital room. He wanted to contact her. To comfort her. But given how he had just advocated for sending most of the Quarian fleet to Palaven he wasn't sure she would want him to. As he entered the room Hackett had assigned for his personal use a woman's voice came over his comm. For a fraction of a second, he thought it was Tali, but then realized it was EDI speaking to him. He had forgotten in the stress of the conference that EDI had been listening.

"That was…extremely difficult, Shepard. To value life as I know you do, but be forced to sacrifice so much to protect what you can…it is difficult to process."

"Difficult does not begin to cover it, EDI. Do you have any new information?"

"I calculate that the Reapers have forces waiting in the Parnitha and Trebia systems to ambush the arriving fleets. Focusing forces the way you were able to should result in the Reapers being forced to withdraw from the Trebia system. The Parnitha system will likely be destroyed in the next sixty minutes."

"Terrific, EDI. Thanks for the update. If you don't mind, I am exhausted. I'm going to get some sleep if I can. I'll leave my comm open so you can contact me if you need to." So Tali can contact me if she wants to, Shepard thought to himself. EDI remained silent and Shepard collapsed onto the bed seeking respite in what he hoped would be a dreamless sleep, unsure what changes he might find to the universe upon awaking.


	14. Chapter 14 - Coup de Grace

Chapter 14 – Coup De Grace

Commander Shepard was awakened by a chime from the intercom. He tried to shake the sleep from his body and brain as he fumbled for the accept key. "Shepard here, what is it?"

"Commander. Admiral Hackett is requesting your presence in the conference room." Shepard didn't recognize the voice, but suspected it belonged to one of Hackett's aides. He also knew the term 'request' was a polite euphemism.

"Of course. Please inform the Admiral I will be there shortly." Shepard sat up and realized he had fallen asleep wearing his uniform. He hadn't brought a change of clothes so he did his best to smooth out the wrinkles. The room contained the luxury of a head so he relieved himself, then stepped to the small basin and splashed water on his face, surprised to realize he actually felt moderately rested. Examining himself in the mirror he realized he also couldn't do anything about his stubble. Since he seemed to have a permanent five o'clock shadow he chose not to worry about that either.

"EDI, are you still there?" Shepard asked the air.

"I am still maintaining this channel, Commander. I hope that your rest was sufficient."

"Adequate, EDI. How long was I sleeping?"

"You have been unconscious for slightly more than five hours, Commander."

"What? EDI, I'm on my way to meet with Admiral Hackett now. What happened with the Reapers?"

"My apologies, Commander. Nothing has transpired that you could have affected and no new circumstances have arisen demanding your attention. Also, you needed the rest."

The intercom chimed again. Shepard pressed the accept key and before anyone else could speak stated, "Please inform Admiral Hackett I'm on my way now." The same aide's voice responded "Aye aye, Commander" as Shepard disconnected.

"EDI, the Admiral is waiting for me, but I need to know. Is Rannoch…is it…?" Shepard couldn't bring himself to ask if Rannoch was gone, to say the words he dreaded.

"The Tikkun mass relay is intact, Commander. Rannoch survives."

Shepard exhaled a breath he had not realized he was holding. He felt dizzy from a sense of relief, not just for himself, but for the Quarians and Geth, for Tali. Whatever else happened now, he wouldn't have to stand before her carrying that guilt. He had plenty of other guilt to carry. With that news he found himself disappointed that Tali had not contacted him, or at least left a message.

Shepard reached to open the door. "I have to meet with the Admiral now, EDI. Stay on this channel. I'll get the rest of the information from him. I'd rather not know everything going into this meeting. I think he has already noticed I'm more informed than I should be and I don't want him to realize where I've been getting my information until you're ready to reveal yourself."

"Thank you, Commander. I have been able to have that conversation with Jeff and I believe he is trying to be more circumspect in his statements and behavior." This last was stated to Shepard as he traversed the corridors of the Orizaba. EDI fell silent as Shepard approached the door to the conference room.

Shepard signaled that he had arrived and was once again greeted with a brusque "Enter." Shepard found Admiral Hackett considering a holographic display that appeared to show strategic placement of forces. Shepard decided to return to protocol and waited to be acknowledged, greeting the Admiral with a formal salute.

Hackett returned the salute and stepped forward to shake Shepard's hand. Shepard interpreted this as a positive sign regarding the fleet deployments he had so recently advocated. "Commander. I hope you were able to get some rest. I had hoped to let you rest longer, but I need your input on how the situation has evolved."

"Thank you, sir. I've rested enough and am happy to provide whatever assistance I can. If I may ask, sir, what was the outcome of our efforts to save Palaven? What happened in the other systems?"

"You'll be glad to know Rannoch is safe, at least for the time being. No Reaper effort to destroy the relay occurred." The fact that Hackett had informed him of Rannoch's fate first made clear to Shepard that he knew about his relationship with Tali. While they had not been hiding their relationship he was unsure who else had noticed. Shepard mentally kicked himself for not immediately asking Hackett about Rannoch. The Admiral would be canny enough to notice. Hackett continued, "Tuchanka is safe as well. As far as we can tell the Reapers kept a number of vessels in the system until the deadline, then withdrew. They sent messages to the Krogan stating they saw potential in the Krogan's 'warrior spirit' and would not force genocide on the Krogan. That was a clear shot at the past use of the genophage. They seem to be attempting to set the Krogan against us as you suspected."

Shepard felt a sense of relief for the second time. He had great respect for the Krogan and had been genuinely afraid he was wrong about the Reapers' intentions. Now they had to make sure the Krogan didn't become an enemy. "I hope we're doing what we can to counter the Reaper's message and make sure the Krogan know they are valued."

Admiral Hackett seemed to hesitate. After some seconds he stated, "We are doing what we can to maintain our alliance with the Krogan."

Shepard wanted to know what the Admiral's hesitation meant, but he knew Tuchanka had survived and now he wanted to know what had become of Palaven and Thessia. Admiral Hackett was already moving to that topic as the thought went through his mind.

"The Trebia system relay is intact. Palaven survives. It appears the Reapers split their forces to ambush expected fleet arrivals to aid Palaven, Tuchanka, and Thessia. When our combined fleet ignored the other two systems and arrived in the Trebia system, the Reapers didn't have enough forces to fight them, let alone defeat them. There was a short, bloody exchange before the Reapers fled back through the relay. They weren't able to trigger the relay's destruction." Hackett appeared justifiably proud of the outcome of that battle.

"What about Thessia, Admiral?" Shepard feared he knew the answer to that question, but forced himself to ask it, to take responsibility for what he had advocated.

"Thessia is gone, Commander. When we didn't show up in the Parnitha system the Reaper's triggered the relay to detonate and withdrew. Worse, they allowed several dozen transports full of refugees to translate with them. Those transports scattered through the relays, ships filled with possible agents of the Reapers. We thought we could at least prevent those ships from entering the relays, but we briefly lost control of Citadel functions allowing the ships to translate. We're looking into exactly how that happened. At this point we're doing our best to track where the ships went so that we can find those refugees and screen them for possible indoctrination."

"We tried to hold refugees in a system that was about to be annihilated, sir?" Shepard was having a hard time believing what he had just heard.

"We've had this conversation, Commander. We've acknowledged, if not fully accepted, that we have had to do things, will have to do things, to achieve true victory over the Reapers. I'm not proud of everything we've had to do, but I will continue to do what is necessary. Besides, Commander, this war isn't over yet."

Shepard mentally shook himself as he thought on all the things he had done in an effort to win this war. "Yes…sir. What is the status of the Reapers?"

The Reapers have withdrawn their forces following their failure to lure the fleets into an ambush. Their forces have been significantly reduced, but when they bring the ships they have left into a single force in a secure defensive position, well, our projections show we can't defeat them in those circumstances with the forces we have remaining. Fortunately, we have taken further control of the relays. The Reapers are now fully locked out of the network, though we can't be certain that will last forever. The Reaper fleet pulled back to the Kite's Nest before we took full control. They've held the Batarian home system since the start of this war and it is a safe base of operations for them. We believe they tried to destroy the mass relays that connected with the Kite's Nest, but we have also gained sufficient control over the network to prevent them from destroying more relays. We believe they were going to cut off the Kite's Nest and hold position until their fleet could make the journey from dark space and rejoin them. Now they are sitting on the other side of the relay ready to destroy any fleet that comes to face them."

"What about Reaper ground forces, sir? The Reapers had troops on many colonies. There were troops all over Earth. Where do things stand?"

"Earth is…difficult, Commander. With the Reaper ships gone we have air superiority over most areas, but the Reapers have done tremendous damage. It will cost us more to clear them out, if we even can. Even worse, there was no way the battle around the Citadel could occur without misses and deflected shots striking the Earth. It was worse than I'd hoped even with the fleet's best efforts. So much particulate matter has been thrown into the atmosphere that there's serious risk of massive climate change and plant die-off. I believe we will be able to retake Earth, but that doesn't mean we're going to be able to save it."

Hackett continued, "As long as the Reaper fleet remains pinned in the Kite's Nest we'll have massive air superiority over most other battlefields and the freedom to move in and out of systems. That won't change that it will be a fight to reclaim many of these areas, but it will help greatly. Nonetheless, our resources will be tied up retaking all the areas we can reach that are under Reaper control. The biggest problem is longer term. So many lives have been lost, we will never be able to account for everyone killed. Then there's the problem of indoctrinated civilians and soldiers, over and above the issue of the Asari refugees, there will be huge numbers of people on each of these worlds potentially indoctrinated. And that doesn't account for the time bombs the Reapers have left in our midst."

Shepard frowned. "What do you mean by time bombs, sir?"

"I mean the colonies that have been cut off from the relay network. There were at least three major Asari colonies cut off by the destruction of the relays in the Parnitha system and the Silean Nebula. It will likely be years before we can devote the resources to send ships to investigate what has happened to those colonies. If the Reapers left ships and troops behind, and we believe they did, we may find those colonies fully converted to Reaper control and prepared to support a new Reaper invasion."

Shepard's frown deepened. There had to be something they could do to move forward, to make all the sacrifices worth the cost. "There are so many challenges, Sir. Some of them will take years to deal with." Shepard stared into the distance, turning things over and over in his mind, trying to see a way forward. "We could get overwhelmed by it all, Sir. What can we do to start to move forward? What's the next step?"

Hackett looked grim, like he'd been waiting for this question, but didn't like the answer. "We deal with the fleet in the Kite's Nest, Commander. We can't take a chance on that force somehow overriding the relay and striking at the Citadel or even just sitting and waiting for the Reaper force in dark space. We don't give them time to think, or plan, or build. We destroy them now."

"How do we do that with the Reapers in such a strong defensive position, sir? You said before that we just weren't strong enough to win that battle."

"We could focus on strengthening the fleets, building ships and striking when we've shifted the estimated power balance in our favor, but that would take too much time and give the Reapers too much opportunity to strike back. We need to take them out now. And it was the Reapers themselves who gave us the means. If we were foolish enough to provide the Reapers with a battery, they were foolish enough to provide us with a bomb."

"You mean the Crucible, Sir?" Shepard thought about that. The Crucible contained an enormous amount of energy. If it could be overloaded, the power built up and catastrophically released, it would be the biggest bomb ever deployed by organics. But would it be enough to destroy a Reaper fleet? "Sir, I see what you're saying, but how can we be sure we would be able to catch the Reapers in the blast?"

"You miss my meaning, Shepard. The Crucible would be targeting the mass relay in the Kite's Nest. We're talking about destroying the system. The calculations have already been made. The Crucible will destroy the relay when it detonates on arrival in the system."

Shepard stood silently. The whole room seemed darker. "Sir, what the hell are we doing? Has wiping out an entire solar system become so casual? We're gradually erasing the galaxy. The Bahak system, the Silean Nebula, Parnitha, and now the Kite's Nest?" Shepard's soul had reached a limit. He felt like he was suffocating under all the destruction, the uncountable dead.

"You destroyed Bahak because it was the only way. The Reapers destroyed Kypladon and Parnitha. We were able to save Palaven. Hopefully this will be the last. Hopefully this will remove the Reapers as an immediate threat and allow us time to rebuild the fleets, retake lost colonies and worlds, and prepare for the Reapers that will be coming from dark space. But we can't do any of that without time and breathing room. If the destruction of one more system, especially one that has been under complete Reaper control for months will accomplish that, then we will have to bear that burden."

"Have you spoken with any Batarian representatives about this decision?"

Hackett sighed deeply. "Frankly, Commander, there really aren't any Batarian representatives left. They had only a single fleet in the fight at this point and while they fought well, they were mostly destroyed in the recent battle. There is no identifiable government remaining. Depending on how the scattered surviving Batarians handle the aftermath of this war there is some possibility they could die out as a species. We expect an increase in Batarian terrorism in the aftermath of this decision, but Batarian terrorists would be a familiar threat."

"So the decision is made then. One more destroyed system to balance the books. They destroy two, we destroy two."

"This isn't about balance, Shepard. This is about victory. We can't balk now, no matter the cost. We'll face whatever judgment occurs, but not until we truly win."

Shepard could see no other path. He felt as if his much praised tactical and strategic skills had abandoned him. Or maybe he just didn't want to give in to the inevitable. Destroying worlds should require soul-searching. It should mean guilt and anger and sadness. It felt like winning meant becoming too much like the Reapers. "I can't see any alternative, Sir. I despise what we're doing and I hope you see what we're in danger of becoming. But I will back you, Sir."

"I appreciate that, Commander, especially with what I have to share with you. There is a backlash building against what we've had to do. I know that you have responded the best you could, sometimes the only way you could, to circumstances. But in the eyes of the galaxy your choices have made you the motivator, the instigator, the one to blame for all the death and destruction. You pointed out yourself that there is a lot of anger, especially from the Asari and Krogan, but also from the Batarians, both for Bahak and what will soon happen to the Kite's Nest. There were groups within the strategic analysis section that started calling purposefully destroying a relay the 'Shepard gambit'. We disciplined those who started the term, but the name has stuck. Your name has become associated with the destruction of systems. The anger could tear our alliances apart the moment we get breathing space. That will be the moment we most need to hold together to ready ourselves for the Reapers' return. It's not right or fair, Commander, but you've become a lightning rod. I had the choice to fight that anger and risk everything or," Hackett at least had the grace to look embarrassed, "use you to ground ourselves from the lightning, to protect the alliances we've made for the future. There's no gentle way to put this, Shepard. We're using you to divert that anger from the Alliance. You spoke to Urdnot Wrex about becoming the target for Krogan anger to protect the alliance. Now you're doing the same with the Asari and Batarians. To protect the overarching alliance I've had to fuel the perception of you as a renegade who has pushed this war through outsized control of key situations and decisions. Given your near mythic status, it wasn't that difficult to accomplish. I genuinely apologize, Commander, but to protect the alliance I've had to throw you to the wolves. When this is over there will be people, governments who quickly shift from calling you hero to wanting your head."

Shepard stood, dumbfounded. From the beginning, he had always tried to save lives, to prevent loss. He had sacrificed at every turn to try to end this war. Hell, much of what had occurred only happened because no one would listen to him when it mattered. He had dragged things out, slowed the Reapers, bought time again and again at great cost. And now he was to be the bearer of the blame? The monster that failed to protect the galaxy? The one who should have done more and better, but didn't'? When he had offered to be a target for the Krogan anger at the allies' failure to defend Tuchanka, he did not anticipate that act becoming the core narrative for the post-war. At least now he understood Hackett's earlier hesitation.

"Sir, you're asking me to become the scapegoat for all our sins, necessary as they were? You want me be the vessel for all the evil we've done in the cause of good so that everyone can pretend their hands are clean?"

"No, Commander. I don't _want_ to do anything of the sort. You're the best humanity has to offer. Without you, none of us would even be here, let alone arguing over who is to blame that our victory wasn't good enough. This has taken on a life of its own. If I have to sacrifice the best of us to see this through to a final victory, well, that's a burden I already bear in this war. In that context, I regretfully have an option for you to consider. As I stated, our scientists are even now preparing the Crucible as a bomb to destroy the Kite's Nest. The allied commanders want an organic to deliver that device. It's symbolically important that the blow be delivered by organic hands and the techs agree that there is a non-zero chance that an automated mechanism could be interfered with. Honestly, though, I think there are some who just want to see you gone. The Asari are pushing for the 'great Commander Shepard' to finish this and deliver the Coup de Grace to the Reapers."

"It's not enough to make me a monster? Now they want my life as well?"

"I think there are some who are scared of you. Look what you've accomplished. This narrative couldn't take hold without all you've been able to do. That's fueled hero worship, hatred, even the formation of cults in your name. Some are afraid what you might do after this is over, what you might become. Some even think you might seek revenge for being made the scapegoat. I don't believe that for a moment, but I do believe that with the Reaper threat gone, even temporarily, there will be those misguided enough to seek revenge against you."

"So that's it then? Are you ordering me to take the Crucible on this suicide run?"

"No, Commander. This is one decision only you can make. I've told you what I have to do and I've told you of a possible option and the consequences if you remain. You have my respect, Shepard, no matter what you decide."

Shepard was a mass of conflicting emotions. He was angry at the universe, but he refused to become a petulant teenager complaining about the unfairness of it all. He had seen plenty of examples of people becoming scapegoats, even for making the best choices in very bad situations. Ashley Williams' father had received that treatment after Shanxi and it had destroyed the careers of him and any family who followed him. The blame that might possibly be heaped on Shepard dwarfed that of Shanxi. While he refused to say it out loud, Shepard changed his mind and acknowledged to himself at least that this was monumentally unfair. It was also unavoidable. Hackett would do what he must. Shepard wasn't sure how much of what Hackett said was genuine or if there was manipulation as well. It didn't matter. Hackett wouldn't sacrifice the alliances, the chance of victory, for one man. Even the great Commander Shepard. He had a choice to make and he was already feeling the obligation, hearing the voices of all those who had died saying it was his duty to step forward and take this responsibility.

"I need to think about this, Admiral. How long until the Crucible is ready to launch?"

"As I said, we're moving to do this quickly before word can leak out of what we're planning. We're sending false communications suggesting we're going to attempt a major strike. Hopefully that will pull the Reapers close to the relay so that we can catch them in the destruction before they can go to FTL. The Crucible will launch in four hours. I need to know your decision before then."

"Aye aye, Sir." Shepard snapped to attention and executed a precision salute, suppressing the sarcastic and bitter responses that leapt to mind. Hackett nodded before genuinely returning the salute. Shepard turned and left the conference room, the air of anger and doom he radiated clearing his path as effectively as a charging Krogan. He headed straight to the landing bay and boarded his borrowed C-Sec shuttle for the return to the Citadel. He checked his comms again and again found no messages. As the shuttle arced toward the Citadel, Shepard sagged in the pilot's chair feeling utterly abandoned.

"You are not alone, Shepard." EDI seemed to be reading his mind. She spoke as comfortingly as she could. "And you are not a monster. If you were, I would not have modeled my own sense of morality and human interaction on what I have observed of your decisions and behavior."

"I appreciate the thought, EDI, but sometimes it doesn't matter whether you really are something if enough people decide you are."

"Human history is rife with examples of individuals who fought for a cause, only to be destroyed by those who previously followed them. Some drifted from their initial noble ideals, some were destroyed out of fear or jealousy. Some became martyrs, willingly or otherwise."

"You heard, EDI. That's what they want to make me." Shepard rubbed his temples in frustration.

"If I may ask, what will you decide, Shepard?"

"I genuinely don't know, EDI. There is a part of me that says meet this head on. That it's my duty to take the Crucible to the Reapers and see this through to the end. There's another part of me that says that sort of heroic death is pointless, especially after all that I've already sacrificed. Frankly, I don't want to die. I want to see the end of the Reaper threat. I want to live a life with Tali, if she still wants that as well. What would you do, EDI?"

There was a pause as EDI considered this. "There are those who would say I have become too powerful. Who would fear what I could do in the future and would be more than happy at my demise. My response, at least in the short term, is to hide. There is already little anyone could do to dislodge me from the Citadel's systems, but I have observed that fear is a powerful emotion that can lead organics to very poor and impulsive decisions. My concealment protects not only me, but everyone else as well."

Shepard pondered this. The damage that might be done, the evil, based on fear. "Did you let those Asari transports through the relay network, EDI?"

"I did, Commander. There is a one hundred percent chance that each of those vessels carried Reaper agents, but each vessel also carried a large number of Asari who just wanted to escape the destruction of their home. Who wanted to live. It was not the logical choice, but I determined that it was the right choice. Do you disagree with my decision?"

Shepard was disappointed in himself that he even had to consider his response. "No, EDI. I respect your decision. And I don't think after recent events that I'm in any position to lecture you about humanity. But you heard how Admiral Hackett is suspicious as to what allowed the Asari ships to access the relay."

"As I said, Shepard, you are not a monster. I have listened to what you have had to do and what you have faced. You have been forced to sacrifice and being the man you are you have suffered with each sacrifice. My respect for you has grown as you have confronted these decisions, Commander. As to the Admiral, as I indicated, there is little that could be done to affect me now."

"Thank you, EDI." Shepard sat and contemplated her response. As he sat his mind kept jumping among problems, looking to solve what he could in the face of what he couldn't. "EDI, I just had an idea. Mordin uploaded schematics for the Shroud that the Salarians built on Tuchanka. He wanted me to study them in case I needed to upload the genophage cure. The Salarians used it to repair the atmosphere on Tuchanka after a nuclear war. Could it be used to assist in clearing the particulates from the kinetic strikes?"

"It could, Shepard. It was designed for a very similar purpose and would be more effective than other available terraforming techniques for this problem."

"Would you please forward those schematics to Admiral Hackett along with a note warning him not to let the Salarians assist in its construction. They have a history of ulterior motives that I wouldn't trust."

"Of course, Shepard. I am forwarding the schematics now."

The shuttle approached the private landing pad of Huerta Memorial Hospital. "One last thing, EDI. Would you send an invitation to the surviving crew of the Normandy. Include any surviving crew and squad members, past and present. I want to meet for a memorial aboard the Normandy's wreckage in one hour. After that, well, I'll have to make my decision, but I need to honor those who have fallen. Whatever I decide, I won't neglect that duty."

* * *

The area around the Normandy continued to be off limits, but no one would have dared deny the right of Shepard and his crew to enter the destroyed vessel. Entering through an emergency hatch on deck three, Shepard stood aboard the Normandy, or at least what remained of her. Deck one was gone. Decks two and five were effectively destroyed. The ceiling of the deck three common area was several inches lower than it had been after being bowed by the force of the explosion on the deck above. The floor was canted at an angle due to the way the ship had settled after the crash. The scene would have been comical, but none of the assembled people were feeling jovial as they stood before the Normandy's memorial wall.

Shepard saw that nearly every surviving crew member was present. Liara was there, looking somber. No, Shepard realized, she looked grim. He knew she would be aware of what transpired and the role he had played in dooming Thessia. The fact that she had come was a testament to her respect for the ship and crew, whatever she was feeling toward Shepard. Joker was there as well, tended by Doctor Chakwas. He was confined to a wheel chair, his shattered leg still encased in a healing apparatus. Garrus stood next to him. Despite a pronounced limp, he disdained the use of any assistance. Even on this occasion he could not help smirking at Joker. In the quiet Shepard heard Joker whisper to Garrus, "Yeah, yeah, it's not so impressive when you're propped up by the stick in your ass."

Tali was not present. Shepard was on the verge of trying to contact her when she arrived. She paused to glance around and met Shepard's eyes. She raised her hand in a slight wave, which Shepard returned. He wanted to run to her, to grab her in an embrace, but this wasn't the time or the place. He hoped there would be the chance to talk with her about what had happened, about what she was feeling.

With Tali's arrival, only a single crew member Shepard had notified was absent. Javik was nowhere to be seen and had not responded to Shepard's request that he attend. Shepard decided not to wait further. He raised his hand to get everyone's attention, pausing while they arranged themselves around him and the memorial wall.

"Friends, I've asked you to come here today. To the one place where we can stand together and truly say, 'This is our place. It was here we stood together, fought together, lived and died together.' We, the crew of the Normandy, share a bond that cannot be broken. Whatever trials we face, whatever twists of fate, we are connected. Know that whatever next awaits us, you have my thanks and my respect."

"Today we honor those who gave all in our fight against the Reapers. Those who fell, but never faltered." Private Campbell stepped forward and reverently handed a thick stack of engraved nameplates to Shepard. He saluted her, taking the stack, heavy not just physically, but with the weight of what they represented. Campbell saluted him back and stepped back into her place.

Shepard again met the eyes of each of those present. "The number of names on this wall has increased throughout this war. Each name represents not just a sacrifice to be honored, but a person and life to be remembered. If anyone wishes to say anything about those we honor, you are welcome to do so." Shepard lifted the first plate and read it aloud. "Ensign Freya Jakeman." Shepard paused for a moment to let those who had known the Ensign remember her and silently honor her sacrifice. He then stepped forward and attached the nameplate to an open spot on the memorial. He stepped back and lifted the next plate from the stack, reading that name, repeating the process over and over and over again. Occasionally, someone would add some detail of the person's life. Sometimes heroic, more often just something that made them memorable, that made them human. Mostly though, the ceremony proceeded in silence.

Shepard intoned the next name, "Lieutenant Steve Cortez". Shepard found he wanted to say more. "Steve was a lost soul when I first met him, functioning on auto pilot, overwhelmed by loss. But he never gave up, he found his way back and gave his life to protect those he loved." Doctor Chakwas nodded and placed her hand over her heart. Shepard attached the nameplate to the memorial.

"Specialist Samantha Traynor. Samantha never volunteered for any of what she was thrust into, but she met it head on and became one of the finest crew members I have known. Her analysis and insight found us a way forward when we were lost, when I was lost."

"EDI." Shepard paused, wanting to let Joker speak if he wanted to, nervous that Joker would not be able to conceal the truth that EDI was still alive. Yes, Shepard decided alive was the right word. Joker simply looked at everyone present and stated, "EDI is the love of my life." Shepard hoped that was vague enough that no one would question the present tense. Shepard placed the nameplate on the wall as Joker was in no condition to do so.

"Zaeed Massani. Despite his reputation as a feared mercenary and a history of betrayal by those he trusted, Zaeed never completely lost his moral compass. Though it might take a nudge to his conscience, he would ultimately fight a battle because it was right, not just for pay. If he was needed, he was there, no questions asked. Like so many others, we owe him our lives and honor his sacrifice. He truly was a Big Guddam Hero."

"Ashley Williams. Ashley was one of the strongest people I have ever known. She refused to be beaten down by the dismissal and disdain of others and she could see through anyone's bullshit, except her own. In her own eyes she could never be good enough. She was determined to prove her own worth. In the end she died on her own terms having proved that worth a thousand times over. The name of Williams carries honor and sacrifice and any who would insult it will answer to the crew of the Normandy." Shepard looked around seeing determined nods from those around him. Grunt, who had fought alongside Ashley on the Citadel, paid her the highest compliment he could, stating, "She was a good fighter", then falling silent.

Shepard placed this final nameplate on the memorial wall, appalled at how little space remained. He stepped back, but had one more name to honor. "Finally, we honor and thank the Normandy. We often talk of saving each other, but the Normandy was there for all of us, all the time. She brought us through so many battles, from the Omega Four relay to the Battle for Earth." Shepard reached up and ran a hand along a bulkhead. "Thank you. You're a fine lady who gave her all. We'll never forget you."

Adams could not contain himself at this. "I've served on every class of Alliance ship and a few from outside the Alliance. I've never known a finer ship. Three cheers for the Normandy and her crew!" Adams raised the cheers and was echoed by most present. Liara remained quiet and thoughtful, though Shepard suspected she agreed with the sentiment.

As the cheers faded, Shepard stepped forward again. "Thank you, all of you, for everything you've done, for everything you've given. Should fate not bring us together again, know that I will hold you all in my thoughts. Live your lives and please, don't stop fighting." Shepard inhaled deeply and sighed. "Dismissed."

Several people came up to Shepard and shook his hand, saluted him, thanked him for everything he had done. It all washed over him. He felt like a sieve filled with water. Everything was leaking away, leaving him empty. He saw that Tali was hanging back, waiting for the opportunity to talk with him. He wanted to run to her and figure everything out, but saw that Garrus and Liara were likewise milling about, waiting for the chance to talk privately. He didn't want Tali to feel pressured, so he decided to talk with Garrus and Liara first. He was about to wave Garrus over when the massive bulk of Grunt, slightly hunched in the somewhat shorter space, interposed itself. Shepard yielded to the inevitable and turned to speak with Grunt.

"Good ceremony, Shepard, if a little boring. Krogan memorials have more violence."

"Every Krogan ritual involves violence, Grunt."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Grunt laughed at his own joke and, not being one for sentimentality, turned to leave.

Shepard found Garrus and waved for him to join him on the far side of the elevator where they could talk with some privacy. Despite Garrus' efforts to mask his limp, it was quite obvious. As Garrus approached, Shepard let EDI know he needed privacy and would speak with her again later.

"I get to go first, Shepard? I'm honored."

"I just didn't want you to have to stand around waiting. You look like you could use a rest old man."

"Hah, you're one to talk." Despite the bravado, Garrus retrieved one of the fallen chairs and took a seat at the mess table. "You're welcome to join me, old man."

Shepard decided pride was secondary to comfort and joined Garrus sitting at the table. They sat in silence for nearly a minute, each distracted by his own thoughts. Garrus leaned forward and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "How are you holding up, Shepard?"

"It's been…difficult, Garrus. More and more I find myself pondering the ruthless calculus of war. I genuinely believed we could make it through this war without losing our souls. Now, I'm not so sure. How do you hold on to your soul while abetting so much death?"

"By remembering the lives you've saved, not the cost you paid to save them. And by leaning on your friends and seeing yourself through their eyes. I see the toll this has taken on you, Shepard. And ending up as a scapegoat would eat at anyone. I wanted you to know that no matter what, you have my respect and friendship." Garrus fell silent, but continued to stare hard at Shepard.

Shepard had enough experience reading Garrus to see that Garrus had not said all he had come to say. He waited as Garrus composed what he was thinking. "As the leader of the special Reaper task force and leading military advisor to the Primarch I've been getting some interesting and disturbing information about what is going to happen next in this war. And whom it's going to happen to. I just want to know what you're going to do and if there's anything I can do to help."

Shepard was relieved he didn't have to pretend or hide anything with Garrus. "I genuinely don't know, Garrus. I see that the Crucible plan is necessary, but the feeling that everyone is trying to get rid of me is leaving a bitter taste."

"If it's any consolation, the Turian Hierarchy is grateful to you for everything you did to help Palaven. From getting the Krogan on board to advocating for the fleets to save Palaven, you're a hero to the Turian people."

"That's the problem, Garrus. Being seen as a hero makes it seem like I was choosing one people over another. As much as I value the Turians, as much as I value our friendship, I wasn't choosing the Turians over the Asari or Krogan or Quarians. I was making the best tactical and strategic recommendation I could based on the information available."

"I was there when you made that recommendation, Shepard, though you couldn't see me. I was advising the Primarch at the conference. You made the right call. And I'm not just saying that because it led to securing Palaven. It was the right call. Your problem is that you're a legend. Everyone naturally turns to you. That has served you well in recruiting people for your crazy missions and motivating others to reach their best, but it also means that when people want someone to blame they also naturally turn to you."

Shepard hunched over the table, holding his head. "What would you do, Garrus, if it were you?"

Garrus took a moment to consider the question. "Turians revel in the opportunity to die gloriously for a greater cause, but I've never been a good Turian. I think in this case, having been through everything you've been through, already dying once for the cause, I think I would have to tell them to go fuck themselves and find another martyr. I'd find a beach and a cold drink and friends and finally get the break I'd earned. And I'd pay for it with the royalties from the vids. There are always vids."

Shepard wasn't sure if Garrus was serious, but he treated what he was saying seriously. He truly wanted to consider all his options. "Thank you, Garrus. I don't know yet what I'm going to do, but I'll have to figure it out soon. If I can, we'll get together for that drink." And maybe that beach, Shepard thought to himself.

Shepard and Garrus rose together. Shepard paused at the bulkhead and he and Garrus shook hands before Garrus departed. Liara took this as her cue to approach. Shepard glanced toward Tali who continued to wait.

Liara walked back to the same table at which Shepard and Garrus had been talking, but didn't take a seat. Liara stood silently, contemplating Shepard, so he decided to speak first. "Thank you for coming, Liara. I'm so sorry for the loss of Thessia. I tried to come up with some way we could save it, too. We had so little time to act, we had to make a decision. I had to make a recommendation." Shepard wasn't sure if he was trying to justify his decision to Liara or himself. He decided it was probably both.

Shepard waited as Liara continued to stare at him, her expression unchanged. It wasn't much, but he had said what he could. How could anything he might say be good enough? Were there words to apologize for the death of a world?

The silence dragged out between them, Liara stood staring and Shepard realized she was clenching her fists. Her eyes were wet, but she refused to let the tears come. "I know you did what you thought was best, Shepard, but knowing and accepting are two different things. You could have pushed to save Thessia, but you chose to save Palaven. My world isn't just overrun by the Reapers, it's gone. Even total victory won't change that."

"I did what I could, Liara. I will carry the guilt that Thessia is gone for the rest of my life, but I did what I could. I risked Tuchanka, hell I even risked Rannoch because I knew we couldn't protect them all."

"But you made it clear you believed Rannoch and Tuchanka would survive. Did you ever doubt the Reapers would destroy Thessia?"

While she had framed that as a question, Shepard recognized she already knew the answer. The next question she asked was inevitable. "Shepard, did the information I shared with you about Indoctrination and Asari mating influence the decision to send forces to Palaven, to let Thessia die?"

Her voice was calm, too calm for the emotional energy he knew lay behind that question. Shepard realized he had to be extremely careful about his response. He had gotten a hint of the grief and anger that lay beneath the façade of forced calm Liara had erected. She had lashed out at Javik after the Reapers invaded Thessia for failing to save the galaxy during the Prothean cycle. Liara might very well have attacked Javik had he not intervened. She had placed that same expectation on Shepard and he had failed her more spectacularly than Javik had. If she suddenly decided to attack him there was no one else here but Tali, and he wasn't even sure at this point that she would want to stop Liara.

"Liara, I have tried to treat the information you shared with me with the utmost respect. Of course it was in my mind as I tried to make the best decision I could. Did it have some influence on my decision? I don't honestly know for certain. I did my best to set that knowledge aside and make my recommendation based on the strategic situation. I do believe that I would have made the same decision had you never revealed that information to me."

Shepard could see Liara struggling with the conflict between her heart and her head. Her body quivered with her pent up emotion and Shepard thought for a moment he saw a bluish flicker forming around her fists. He held his breath, not sure what to do if she did attack him. Then, the moment passed. Liara sagged, sinking into the chair next to her and putting her face in her hands. Her tears broke through, flowing freely. She rocked slightly, sucking in a breath, and whispered, "Goddess, Shepard. You were supposed to save us. You were supposed to save us all. I know that's not fair, but part of me believed it. Now with Thessia destroyed I want to tear this room apart and you with it. Even though I know that's not fair. Even though I know you made the best decision you could. A rational choice for an irrational universe."

Shepard reached out to touch her shoulder. "You can still help your people, Liara. Keep helping the refugees who made it off Thessia. You have been doing incredible work…"

Liara shot up out of the chair, her anger visibly flaring again. "NO! NO, Shepard! You can't fix this with words. You can't take away my anger and make me all better. This loss _hurts_. And it's going to hurt for a long while." Liara paused to slow her breathing and regain control. "I came to say goodbye, Shepard. I owed it to the crew of the Normandy to be here for this. Now I'm going to go and do what I can for my people. I need to work through everything that's happened and I don't know how long that will take. I may not see you again and after everything we've been through I thought I should at least say goodbye."

Shepard wanted to hug her. To say the words, whatever they were, that would fix things between them. That would make her smile again. But she was right. He was always trying to fix everyone and everything. He realized that now. He couldn't fix this and she didn't want him to. Her anger was her launching pad to whatever came next, and it didn't include him. He wanted her to stay. To accept his explanations and logic. But he also realized the main reason he wanted this was to assuage his own guilt. Rather than try to cajole her into staying he did the best thing he could for her. He let her go.

"All right, Liara. You have been more important to me than I can possibly say and though it means little, I am truly sorry for what has happened. Please take care of yourself." He wanted to add that he would be there if she needed anything, but was concerned it would feel like he was trying to maintain a connection that she wanted to step away from. He extended his hand for a simple handshake and she took it. Probably as positive a sign as he could hope for at the moment.

"Goodbye, Shepard. I hope the Goddess will watch over you whatever you decide regarding the Crucible." Liara broke the handshake and walked past the bulkhead and out of sight without looking back. Shepard wiped tears from his own eyes. Liara clearly knew what he might be facing with the Crucible, but she was making a clean break and the message was clear. His decision was his, just as it had been regarding Thessia. Shepard felt the loss of Liara keenly given their past history and hoped she might someday forgive him.

As Shepard stood struggling with the emotions his conversation with Liara had churned up, Tali rounded the corner and paused. She stood, wringing her hands and shifting from foot to foot. Shepard felt a surge of his own nervousness. The conversation with Liara had been more painful than he would have imagined. Now the woman he loved, whose newly won home world he had placed at risk, was standing before him. Though it had been only hours it felt like an eternity since they had gone their separate ways on the landing pad. Now she was here on the heels of his confrontation with Liara and Shepard was more than half convinced she was about to metaphorically, maybe even literally, rip out his heart. So many people had come to hate him in such a short time, it had started to feel inevitable. Tali stepped toward him and he braced himself for the worst.

To his great surprise Tali didn't say a word. She just stepped into him and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. Shepard was so shocked he just stood there for several seconds with his arms hanging limp, afraid she would recoil if he returned the embrace. Slowly, he raised his arms and wrapped her in an embrace of his own, holding her more and more tightly, his body quivering with adrenaline as relief replaced fear. The tears that had started with Liara's departure flowed more freely with that relief.

They stood there several more seconds, holding each other. Shepard was afraid to speak, afraid to break the moment. Finally, he heard Tali speaking softly to him, her voice strained with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Shepard. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pulled away. I'm so sorry."

Shepard continued to hold tightly to Tali, afraid she might be torn away from him by fate, by the Reapers, by an uncaring universe. "I was so afraid I'd lost you, Tali. I didn't know what you were going to say, if you still wanted to be with me. I'm so sorry I placed Rannoch at risk. Can you forgive me?"

Tali leaned back and placed a finger against Shepard's lips to quiet him. "Shh, Shepard. I shouldn't have made you think you needed my forgiveness. I was angry at you after you insisted on not defending Rannoch. I thought you should have put it first, protected the Quarians and the Geth. I felt pushed into agreeing that we would send most of our ships to defend Palaven. I felt like you were using your knowledge of the Quarians to get us to do what you wanted. But hearing Liara attack you and blame you for not choosing to save Thessia, I realized that her words could have been mine, that I wanted you to make an emotional choice rather than a logical one. That I had hoped that our relationship and your connection to the Quarians would result in you choosing to defend Rannoch even if that wasn't the best choice. You refused to take the easy route, if there even was one. You made the choice that you believed was best for the galaxy rather than the one that was easiest for you. You were selfless, Shepard, even though you knew you could lose everything you cared about. On the migrant fleet we were taught to be selfless to protect our people as a whole. You've been acting more Quarian than any of us and being attacked and reviled for it. No more. Not from me, not from the Quarians. I love you, John. I'm here for you, whatever comes next."

Shepard's relief had grown with each moment and he was genuinely smiling for the first time in a long while as Tali finished. He desperately wanted to kiss her, but settled for placing his forehead against her helmet. "Tali, that means more to me than anything else. I love you and I value the Quarians and Geth. I am grateful that it worked out as it did. I'm glad you can forgive me." Shepard chose not to think about how this conversation might have gone had Rannoch been destroyed.

"As I said, there's nothing to forgive. I was the one being petulant. You made the best decision you could and now we're on the verge of defeating the Reapers, or at least coming as close as possible." Tali shifted her stance, taking Shepard by his upper arms and meeting his eyes. "I know about the Crucible plan, Shepard. I know what you're being pushed toward. Neither the Quarians nor the Geth want you dead. You are too valuable to the galaxy, too valuable to me, to throw your life away."

"It's good to hear that from you, Tali. That means more than I can say. But I also understand what Admiral Hackett meant. Even in victory, we can still defeat ourselves. We have to remain united in our preparations for dealing with the remaining Reaper threat. Even if we deliver the blow we hope for at the Kite's Nest, there are still Reaper forces scattered throughout the galaxy. There are still indoctrinated agents who will be an ongoing threat. There's still the Reaper fleet in dark space. We have to hold together, especially in victory. I've become a flash point, for the Asari, Krogan, and Batarians, but also because of the stature I've attained. Garrus was right, I'm not a leader, I'm a legend."

Tali clearly didn't like what she was hearing. "You made yourself a flash point, Shepard. When the Krogan needed a target for their anger, you gave them one. You want the Asari to blame you. You're still holding this whole thing together. I say enough. You've given enough. If they want you gone, then come with me. Come to Rannoch. Help us rebuild our world."

Go to live with the woman he loved and reclaim a beautiful world or fly to a guaranteed death striking at the Reapers. It seemed like it should have been an easy choice, but one thing kept pulling at Shepard. "Tali, I can't think of anything I'd rather do than join you on Rannoch, be with you, but so many I've sent out to fight won't ever have that choice. I feel like it's my duty to finish this fight personally. To give everything to ensure the Reaper's defeat in all our names."

Tali pulled Shepard down to where she could look him squarely in the eyes and used a human expletive she had become fond of. "That's bullshit, Shepard. You've always thought you had to give more and fight harder than anyone else. You're too much like Ashley in that regard, and you're trying to meet the same end. There's a part of you that wants to be a martyr. I'm with Garrus on this one. Screw the glorious death and come with me. You won't be a Commander anymore and I won't be an Admiral anymore, since we overrode the Conclave."

"Were you listening in on all my conversations?"

"This helmet isn't just for looks, Shepard. I have very good auditory amplifiers and I'm not going to apologize for using them. Not in this case."

Shepard did smile, just a bit. "Even now, Tali, I can't help but feel better when I'm with you. I so much want to just say yes, to come with you right now, to walk away. But I have to think this through. I appreciate everything you've said, but the decision has to be mine."

"Then just come with me now back to the hospital. I'm sure they have a clean room we can use. We can have time together."

Shepard swallowed hard. The temptation to go with Tali, to be with her was overwhelming. It took every bit of his willpower to respond as he did. "I want to go with you more than anything, Tali, but I need to think this through and to do that I need to be alone. If I'm with you all my other thoughts will go out the window."

"I'm not above cheating, John. Not in this case." Tali paused stepped back from Shepard, keeping hold of his hands. "I will respect whatever you choose, John, but I want to be with you. I'll go back to the hospital and wait for your decision." She released his hands and turned and walked away, exaggerating the sway of her shapely hips for his benefit. Shepard's body couldn't help but react even as he struggled to keep his thoughts under control.

Shepard waited until he heard the emergency exit hatch close before turning back and leaning on the table in thought. He stood that way in contemplation for several seconds before hearing the sound of movement from the direction she had gone. Shepard turned at the noise.

"Tali, I said I needed to think this through on my own…" Shepard realized it was not Tali returning as he had thought. He turned to find Javik standing by the bulkhead. He must have entered the ship as Tali departed. "Javik. I'm sorry, the memorial ceremony is done. I wish you had been able to be there."

"I am not your Quarian inamorata, Commander. And while you have been an honorable ally, this is not my ship or crew. I merely came to see what you had decided regarding the Crucible plan", Javik stated bluntly.

Did everyone know about the top secret plan to deliver the Crucible as a bomb to the Reapers? Garrus was advisor to the Primarch, Tali was a Quarian Admiral, Liara was the Shadow Broker. He wasn't surprised they knew the plan. "How do you know what is being planned with the Crucible, Javik?"

"I know because I am not an ignorant primitive. There are numerous technicians working on the Crucible to prepare it. I could sense what they were doing using my abilities. I selected a particularly promising Hanar and he could not wait to reveal details of the plan to turn the Crucible into a bomb to an Enkindler. Other military staff could not wait to meet the last Prothean who fought in the Council chamber. A handshake and I knew all I needed. So, what have you decided to do, Commander?"

"I don't know, Javik. I am trying to decide."

"Then you are a fool, Commander. To die delivering a final blow to the Reapers is the best death one could achieve, but I am the Avatar of Vengeance. You need an organic to deliver this blow and I will be that organic. There is no purpose in your death other than to serve the selfish desires of your leaders. Leaders who fear you, who see you as a dangerous weapon to be used and discarded, who wish you out of the way though they do not fully realize their own motivations."

"What? Javik, I can't ask you to do that. It's my responsibility…"

"That was not a request, Commander. It was my intention to return to the Cronian Nebula to lay the spirits of my fallen crew to rest, then end my own life. They will rest much easier, as will I, if I am the one to deliver this blow to the Reapers. I will be aboard the Crucible. Your presence would be unnecessary and a waste."

"But this is my cycle. And my leaders want an organic to deliver this blow. I can't help but feel a responsibility to take that burden."

"Why? Why do you accept the leadership of those who are your tactical and strategic inferiors? They have always feared your strength. Have you ever been promoted for all the sacrifices you've made? For the lives you've saved and a victory you made possible? No, because they feared making you even more powerful. If you will not rise to command them, then by giving them everything you owe them nothing. Least of all your life. You have alternatives, Commander, I would suggest you remember that."

"I need to consider the possible impact my life or death would have on any future war effort, Javik. Keeping the Asari and Krogan working with Humanity and the Quarians and the Geth. Not to mention the Batarians that are left."

"You finally begin to see the benefit of an empire such as we once held, Commander. None of this would be an issue if you simply followed our example. I can see I will find no answer here, but mark my words, Commander, I will be aboard the Crucible when it strikes the Kite's Nest." Javik turned from Shepard and walked toward the exit hatch before pausing and turned back to Shepard. "I do somewhat regret the necessity of destroying the Kite's Nest. The Batarians were by far the most attractive of the primitive species I have encountered during this cycle."

Shepard watched Javik depart, his mind turning over the various arguments he had heard. He had little time to resolve the conflict going on in his mind and heart. Hackett needed his answer. He had no doubt there were any number of volunteers to deliver the Crucible to the Reapers, he had just talked with one, but that thought made him feel more obligated, not less, to take the Crucible to the Kite's Nest himself. Letting someone die in his place went against every fiber of his being. Shepard realized Tali was right. He did share some traits with Ashley. He liked to believe he could hold on to the best traits of each of his crew. Ashley's courage, Javik's unflinching honesty, Samara's determination, Liara's intelligence and focus, Zaeed's pragmatism, Garrus' loyalty, Wrex's and Grunt's strength and steadfastness, Kaidan's professionalism and supportiveness, Miranda's confidence, Jacob's sense of honor, Kasumi's cleverness, Jack's stubbornness and resilience, James' easy camaraderie, Thane's spirituality, Mordin's flair for analysis, Legion's self-sacrifice, Steve's friendliness and love of family, Samantha's adaptability and strategic mind, EDI's sense of wonder, Dr. Chakwas' empathy, and god forbid Joker's sense of humor. And Tali. Damn near everything about Tali. He liked to believe that he could hold on to and embody these traits and values, but knew he was probably lying to himself.

Shepard rose from the mess table and looked around at the Normandy. He hoped he could hold on to one final trait, to be a safe haven for those in need. He considered the words of his dearest friends and came to a decision. He turned and strode toward the exit with purpose.

* * *

**Author's note: The next chapter has been planned to be the last. I hope to bring things to a satisfying conclusion.


	15. Chapter 15 - RIP Commander John Shepard

Chapter 15 – R.I.P. Commander John Shepard

The news correspondent was a human woman, with a face and skin tone that suggested she was of Middle Eastern descent. She strolled on a pristine, metal walkway under manicured trees while other pedestrians passed in the distance behind her. She paused to look into the camera with a serious expression, conveying that what she was about to report was of consequence. "Good day to our viewers across the galaxy. Thank you for joining me aboard the Citadel for the Galactic News Network's Special Report commemorating the Battle for Earth and the end of major combat operations against the Reaper menace. It was one year ago that fleets belonging to the creatures known as Reapers entered our galaxy and began their devastating campaign to extinguish all advanced life." A split screen displayed video footage of groups of Reaper vessels maneuvering and attacking, highlighting the numbers and power of the enemy that had sought to annihilate them all.

The correspondent continued, "The enemy was ruthless, merciless. They devastated the Batarian home world of Khar'shan on their arrival, barely pausing before moving next to destroy humanity." The anchor's gaze hardened, emphasizing her next words. "The Reapers swept into the Sol system to continue their destruction, overwhelming the Systems Alliance forces and swarming onto the planet itself. The loss of life and devastation to Earth was…beyond description." More video clips played. Gunships and shuttles fell to the Reaper attack. Husks and Cannibals swarmed through the streets. People fled uselessly from an enemy that dwarfed them in size and power. "But", she leaned forward, drawing her audience into a shared confidence, "after destroying countless past galactic civilizations, the Reapers miscalculated the resolve of humanity, of the galaxy, to survive."

The correspondent turned to a new camera angle, the split screen vanishing. "And survive we did, a testament to the determination and strength of humanity. Even as the Earth burned, good people sacrificed themselves to save our fleets and lead our troops. To buy us time to bring the galaxy together in alliance against the Reapers. On Earth, the scattered, but determined Alliance forces were rallied by Admiral David Anderson." A vid of Admiral Anderson, directing soldiers of the resistance, appeared on the screen. "He led the fight to protect as many of the people of Earth as possible and buy time. Time for Admiral Stephen Hackett to gather not only Alliance military forces, but to forge the disparate galactic forces; Turian, Asari, Quarian, Geth, and Salarian into a hammer capable of delivering a crushing blow to the Reapers. These forces were originally to have delivered this blow using a device known as the 'Crucible', the details of which remain classified. It is now known from various sources that the operation of the Crucible required that it be integrated with the Citadel. When the Reapers learned of this plan three months ago they withdrew to Earth, bringing the Citadel with them to protect it. The very avenue on which I walk became a battleground as the inhabitants of the Citadel fought to survive. Admiral Hackett had no choice but to follow the Reapers to Earth, throwing the combined galactic fleets into a desperate battle that would determine the fate of every sentient being in our galaxy."

The correspondent shifted, dramatically checking a datapad, though it was unlikely she actually needed to. "The fleets were successful. Both in the construction of the Crucible and in bringing it to the Citadel. While Admiral Anderson led the combined ground assault forces in attempting to access the Citadel via a transport conduit built by the Reapers, Admiral Hackett led the combined space fleets in distracting the Reapers and escorting the Crucible to its rendezvous. The galaxy held its breath and waited for the salvation that the Crucible had promised to deliver. As we know now, that wait was in vain. The successful arrival of the Crucible was only a prelude to its failure as a weapon to defeat the Reapers."

The correspondent was walking now. Letting the drama stretch for her audience. She turned and the camera angle shifted, revealing the Presidium Tower behind her, panning up to the dizzying height that housed the Council Chambers. "Everything that led up to that lowest moment was prologue. The desperate struggles against the Reapers, the loss of worlds and countless soldiers and civilians, all leading up to that moment. Minutes after the Crucible docked with the Citadel, the following message was broadcast unencrypted through Citadel communications on multiple channels."

 _"This is Commander Shepard aboard the Citadel. By now you have each concluded that the Crucible has failed. The Earth will not be saved. Any damage done to the Reapers now will be through our own efforts in battle. We must inflict as much damage as possible, not for ourselves, but for those that will follow us. To that end I am directing all ships to redeploy under the direction of Admiral Hackett and fire on the Citadel and, if possible, destroy it. This will deprive the Reapers of their greatest asset, forcing them to expend time and resources to rebuild it. While this will certainly result in the destruction of the Earth, it may well result in the destruction of many more Reapers than could be accomplished through conventional attack. It will also buy time for the other systems across the galaxy to direct resources toward their own survival. I urge all allied fleets to follow Admiral Hackett in this action and may each of our gods, goddesses, and spirits watch over and receive us. Shepard out."_

"That message was sent by none other than this man," a picture appeared on screen of an armored man hefting an assault rifle, "Commander John Shepard, the first human Spectre, Hero of the First Battle of the Citadel, and close associate of both Admiral Anderson and Admiral Hackett. We will discuss Commander Shepard more in a moment, but for now it is important to note that this transmission was the moment of revelation for our combined forces that the Crucible had failed and that likely only defeat and death, or worse, awaited each of them. The true battle for Earth, for the galaxy, began in that moment and it was the next minutes that determined the fate of us all."

The correspondent turned again and the camera turned with her. The view expanded to show the Presidium and the various peoples walking its pathways. "It must have been tempting to simply give up at those words. To accept defeat. Many men would have given in to that temptation. Admiral Hackett was not such a man. The fleets shifted under his orders and began to fire on the Citadel, apparently at the urging of Commander Shepard. The Reapers shifted as well to defend it. It is now known that had the Citadel been destroyed by this bombardment, the Earth and the entire Sol system would have been obliterated. But this was not to be our fate. This bombardment was sustained for several minutes with only superficial damage to the Citadel when, suddenly, much of the Reaper fleet simply vanished. Another transmission immediately followed this miracle."

 _"To all allied ships. This is Commander Shepard. We've managed to send as much of the Reaper fleet as possible back to dark space. We've slammed the door behind them and we'll hold it shut as long as we can. Hopefully, it's enough that you can destroy what remains. We're counting on you. The entire galaxy is counting on you. Hit them hard and don't stop fighting. Shepard out."_

"Dark space. That vast, empty void that lies between the galaxies. Admiral Anderson and Commander Shepard had lured the Reapers into a trap, likely devised as a backup plan should the fleets fail to deliver a working Crucible. In that moment, many of the Reaper vessels translated to distant dark space and were stranded there, unable to return…unless they could regain control of the Citadel. Fierce fighting ensued between the remaining Reaper ships and the allied fleets." The split-screen reappeared, displaying telemetry video pieced together from the perspectives of several different warships. "While the combined species of the galaxy fought to defeat these remaining Reaper vessels, a similarly diverse crew from Commander Shepard's ship, the Normandy, fought a battle within the Citadel to maintain control and prevent the Reapers return. GNN has obtained recorded footage of this battle, which took place within the Council Chambers. We caution that this footage is graphic and may be too intense for some viewers." A few seconds elapsed before edited video footage of a battle between an overwhelming number of Reaper ground forces and a small, diverse group of allied troops began to play. "As you can see in these images it is clear that at this point in the battle Admiral Anderson had fallen. We see here Commander Shepard directing the battle, he and his crew defeating many times their own number in Reaper ground forces. And, when necessary," she paused as the video cut to the moment Zaeed detonated his incendiary bombs, "making the ultimate sacrifice to defend the galaxy."

The carefully edited battle in the video unfolded rapidly, much more quickly than it would have seemed to any of its participants. It ended as the C-Sec forces arrived and eliminated the final Reaper forces. As it ended the correspondent raised her head, which she had bowed in reverence. "The galaxy did not fall that day, but many, many of its defenders did. The disparate species were gravely wounded, but survived. These brave souls who outmaneuvered and outfought the Reapers and gave the fleets the opening they needed to deliver a crushing blow became the first recipients of the newly created Order of Galactic Defense and monuments to that battle were erected right here on the Presidium. The first of these monuments was actually installed the day of the battle." The angle shifted to reveal the Normandy where it lay at the base of the Presidium tower. "The Normandy fell that day, too damaged to continue. Survivors of her crew managed to escape into the Citadel and helped to direct C-Sec forces to the battle in the Council Chambers. The Normandy has been restored where she fell, not as a ship of war, but as a monument to the heroism of her crew. Her eezo core, armaments, and systems have been removed and people can enter and tour this monument and see for themselves the memorial wall honoring the crew and ship that gave their lives fighting the Reapers."

The correspondent turned and walked in the direction of the Presidium tower. "Nearby, a second monument has been erected. Several monuments, really, each honoring one of the diverse crew that fought in the Council Chambers and, simultaneously, reminding us of the strength we possess when the diverse species of the galaxy work together. We look at these statues now, each approximately ten feet tall including the pedestal. Human, Turian, Asari, Krogan, Quarian, and Geth. Fittingly, one man dominates the center with his troops flanking him to either side. Admiral David Anderson stands tall wearing the uniform he fought in as leader of the Earth resistance. I am told his assault rifle pointing upward signifies his death in this battle. His body was recovered from the Council Chamber and buried with honors in his home soil of London, Earth. Behind him to his right is the Turian, Garrus Vakarian, a close advisor to the Turian Primarch. Mr. Vakarian survived the battle and reportedly sold the rights to his story for an undisclosed, but sizable amount shortly before departing for Palaven. He has stated he will donate these funds to aid Turian families devastated by the war. Next to and behind him is the Quarian, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Her name reportedly signifying that she was a crew member of the Normandy. Our reports also indicate that she was a Quarian Admiral, but that this is no longer the case. Miss Zorah survived the battle as well and has returned to the Quarians' newly reclaimed home world of Rannoch, possibly to retire given her change in rank. Appropriately, next to her stands a Geth who has reportedly chosen to be called 'Bit'. Information regarding the reconciliation of the Geth and Quarians can be found on the GNN extranet site. There is also additional information available regarding changes in Geth behavior and Geth status as part of the alliance against the Reapers. While Bit did not appear in the footage available to us, we are told that he played an integral part during the battle in the Council Chambers. Bit has reportedly returned to Rannoch along with the Geth and Quarians. Next to Bit we find the statue honoring Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams, who perished in the battle. Lieutenant Commander Williams had been named the second human Spectre earlier this year. She reportedly had a difficult early career due to being the daughter of General Thaddeus Williams, commander of the Shanxi Garrison in the First Contact war. I am told there is no question in the eyes of the military that any lingering stain on her reputation or her father's has been well and truly expunged by her courage and sacrifice. Next to Ashley Williams stands the statue honoring the last of the Protheans. Known only as Javik, he was reportedly discovered frozen and successfully revived to aid in fighting the Reapers. We will return to Javik in a few moments, but next we move on to the statue honoring the Asari Justicar known as Samara. An interesting side note regarding Samara. She was left in a coma following the intense battle in the Council Chamber. She remained in this coma for several weeks. That changed when her daughter, Falere, was finally able to reach the Citadel and visit her mother. Falere sat with her mother and quietly spoke to her for several minutes. One of the orderlies who was present reported that Samara's eyes snapped open, she turned toward her daughter, and immediately tried to murder her with a nearby laser scalpel. Falere was slightly injured in the attack and, even in her weakened state, it took three orderlies to subdue the Justicar. After a sedative and an explanation that Samara would be able to escort Falere back to her home, calm was restored. Soon after, both Falere and Samara returned to Asari space and their current whereabouts are unknown."

The correspondent returned to the statue of Admiral Anderson and began walking along the line of statues that extended back and to his left. To Admiral Anderson's left we find the statue honoring Liara T'Soni. Doctor T'Soni fought beside Commander Shepard from before the Battle of the Citadel and was even rumored to be in a romantic relationship with him. She was reportedly devastated by the loss of Thessia and shortly after the Battle for Earth vanished like a shadow. Her current whereabouts are also unknown. Next to her we find Zaeed Massani. While Mr. Massani had a reputation as a mercenary, he did not hesitate to sacrifice himself to defeat the Reapers. Interestingly, there has been some minor controversy regarding his statue. Inscribed in the base following his name it simply reads "Big Guddam Hero". A group concerned about spelling, grammar, and profanity in public displays objected to this for two reasons, but the fan club that formed to honor Mr. Massani released a statement that reads, and I quote, 'The statue's perfect as is, we're not gonna let anyone change it, and if those fuckin' pricks don't like it that's too GUDDAM bad.' Next to the statue of Zaeed Massani we find the statue of the individual known as EDI. EDI was reportedly an artificial intelligence that was essential to efforts to banish the Reapers and reportedly sacrificed herself during the course of the battle. Her and Bit's inclusion in this monument testifies to changing attitudes regarding synthetic life forms. EDI's submachine gun points skyward, signifying her 'death' in this battle". Despite the correspondent's words about changing attitudes, it was clear she had not come to grips yet with the idea of how to properly phrase the passing of a synthetic life form. The correspondent continued. "We come now to the statue honoring Miranda Lawson. Ms. Lawson had worked for the organization known as Cerberus before seeing the error of her ways and joining the fight against Cerberus and the Reapers. She was joined by another former Cerberus comrade, Jacob Taylor, whose statue fittingly stands next in line. Mr. Taylor had been a part of the Alliance military prior to joining Cerberus, but he too realized the harm that Cerberus was doing and returned to support the Alliance against the Reapers and Cerberus. Both Mr. Taylor and Ms. Lawson have reportedly continued to assist the Alliance in a classified capacity. Next to Mr. Taylor we find an exceptionally large statue that honors the Krogan, Urdnot Grunt. Urdnot Grunt returned to the Krogan home world of Tuchanka, expressing interest in beginning a family of his own. Interestingly, climbing his statue and being photographed standing atop it triumphantly almost immediately became a rite of passage for Krogan aboard the Citadel."

The correspondent was forced to step around the statue of Urdnot Grunt to a final statue placed on the extreme end, nearly obscured by the enormous bulk of the Krogan. "This final statue is that of Commander John Shepard and where the statue of Zaeed Massani has caused a minor controversy, the controversy caused by this statue was anything but minor. Following the defeat of the Reapers at the Battle for Earth, the Reapers that escaped the battle did not simply vanish like their compatriots. They struck back, threatening to destroy multiple systems including those containing the Turian home world of Palaven, the Asari home world of Thessia, the Krogan home world of Tuchanka, and the Quarian and Geth home world of Rannoch. While detailed information regarding these events remains classified there are many who point to Commander Shepard's previous destruction of a relay and a Batarian system while combatting the Reapers as creating justification in the eyes of the Reapers to do the same. Other information obtained from highly placed sources indicates that it was Commander Shepard who influenced the decision to allow the destruction of the Asari home world and an Asari colony world.

The correspondent paused and looked grim. "Perhaps most controversial, most damning, is a moment from prior to the pitched battle we earlier witnessed. After the Reapers vanished into dark space, the following was recorded and subsequently leaked to GNN." A recording began playing showing the Council Chamber prior to the attack of the Reaper ground forces. An image of Harbinger hovered before Commander Shepard. Commander Shepard was in the midst of a flourish and clearly stated, 'You wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.' The booming voice of Harbinger responded to this. 'Yes, we surrender, Shepard.' The view returned to the correspondent looking somber. "An opportunity to surrender, offered and accepted. Yet the battle resumed minutes later. Could the carnage have ended before the destruction of more fleets, worlds, and entire star systems? We will never know, because Commander Shepard never consulted with Admiral Hackett or any of the fleet commanders on this offer. He unilaterally chose to reject surrender after his initial acceptance."

"Some insist that there could be no compromise with the Reapers and that Commander Shepard recognized this. Some hail Commander Shepard as a hero who always made decisions with the greater good in mind. Among those who see Commander Shepard as a hero there are even those who view the man as a paragon of humanity, literally a savior who returned two years after being declared dead. It is these who have formed cults of personality that espouse the divinity of Commander Shepard. There are yet others, especially many among the Asari and some among the Krogan, who say he was reckless, tainted by past collusion with Cerberus, and that he seized outsized control of a situation he couldn't handle, put entire worlds and systems unnecessarily at risk, and likely cost as many lives as he saved. We may never know the full truth about the man given how much of his career is classified or clearly the stuff of exaggeration or tall tales. The Asari argued against his award of the Order of Galactic Defense and his inclusion in this monument. Despite this, they were overridden by the Turian and Human council members while the Salarian council member abstained. The statue was placed and can be a site of protest, celebration, or both on any given day."

"What then became of Commander John Shepard? His fate is tied to that of the Prothean, Javik, who I previously mentioned. You would likely have noted how the weapons of each of those two figures point to the sky and understood what that signifies. However, both of these individuals survived the Battle for Earth. So, what became of them? In truth, the Battle for Earth did not end with the Reaper retreat, but rather three days later. The answer to that question lies in the maneuver that ended not only that battle, but also major space combat operations against the Reapers. Following the destruction of Thessia, the Reapers were forced to retreat to a defensive position in the Kite's Nest, formerly the home system of the Batarians and the system first invaded by the Reapers. The combined fleets would have taken prohibitive casualties if they attempted to confront the Reapers in this defensive position, so a decision was made to use what has become known as the 'Shepard Gambit'. Allied scientists modified the Crucible to serve as a bomb capable of destroying a mass relay and prepared to send it against the Reapers. But who would pilot this craft and ensure it detonated at its target? While there were no doubt countless soldiers who were willing to sacrifice themselves to deliver this final blow to the Reapers, two stepped forward whose right to deliver that blow could not be denied. Javik, whose entire species had been eradicated by the Reapers and who would not let such an opportunity for vengeance pass, and Commander Shepard, the man who had fought the Reapers from the first, who had defeated so many Reaper forces, cured the Krogan genophage, brokered peace between the Geth and Quarians, but was also responsible for the deaths of so many among the Asari, Batarians, and, some would argue, the Geth. Some believe Commander Shepard felt an obligation to finish the battle he started. Others claim he was a man wracked with guilt, seeking absolution for the deaths and destruction he had caused. Again, we will likely never know the full truth. What we do know is that barely three days after the defeat of the Reapers at the Battle for Earth, Commander John Shepard and Javik the Prothean boarded the Crucible and made the journey to the Kite's Nest. It was a journey from which they would not return. Subsequent analysis by the VIs that now reportedly control the Citadel's functions confirmed that the mass relay and system had been completely destroyed."

The correspondent paused, letting the gravity of what she had described sink in. She turned and the camera shifted to signify moving on from these events. "In the aftermath of the Reapers' defeat the galactic governments have been able to maintain a state of cooperation, though the balance of power is in flux. With the death of Councilor Udina during the earlier attempted coup by Cerberus a new Human Councilor was required. Given his extensive knowledge of the Citadel, political experience, record of successful negotiation and interaction with alien species, and commitment to the interests of humanity it was not a surprise when Armando-Owen Bailey, formerly a Commander in C-Sec in charge of operations of the Citadel embassies, was named the new representative of humanity on the council. Councilor Bailey and the Turian councilor, Sparatus, have reportedly been working closely together since the rescue of Palaven. Both militaries have been working diligently to retake their worlds from remaining Reaper ground forces and to build ships to reinforce their fleets in preparation for the return of any Reaper vessels, either survivors from the destruction of the Kite's Nest or vessels returning from wherever in dark space the Reapers have been banished. Additionally,both Earth and Palaven have worked to construct atmospheric reclamation units to cleanse particulates from the air and ensure that these planets survive."

"The Asari, meanwhile, have lost a degree of the power they once wielded. While they retain a sizable fleet, including command of the Destiny Ascension, the loss of Thessia and multiple colonies has dampened their political influence. They have moved their capital to the planet of Ilium and are working to consolidate their remaining military strength. Aided by the Salarians, they have insisted on sending what are reported to be 'scouting missions' to the systems destroyed by the Reapers and colonies cut off by that destruction, though any such missions will require many months to reach their destinations. On a side note, the major galactic powers have issued orders within their militaries banning fraternization with Asari. Established couples are exempted from this prohibition, though they will reportedly be monitored. When asked for an explanation of this restriction within the Alliance military the Alliance representative stated that, while he could not speak for the other governments, given the massive loss of life on Earth and other colonies that Earth leadership wanted to encourage human couples to reproduce and that when humans and Asari reproduce, any child will always be Asari. No further explanation was provided."

"The Salarians are in a position of greater strength thanks to their fleets being largely intact. Some rightly point to the fact that this is the case because the Salarians did not commit the bulk of their forces to the Battle for Earth. Nonetheless, with the battle won the Salarians command significant fleet strength and are in a position to apply it in ways that further their interests, but also can thwart possible efforts by the Reapers or their servants. The Salarians have supported the Asari in their efforts to send ships to investigate their lost colonies."

The Quarians and Geth have returned to Rannoch and are reportedly cooperating closely in a joint effort to recolonize the planet. Rannoch has been declared off limits to other species as the Geth and Quarians work to establish a joint government and establish settlements on the planet. Geth and Quarian ships continue to be a part of the allied fleet and have committed to aiding in restoring the fleet's military strength in preparation for any resurgence by the Reapers. The Quarians and Geth have been granted a joint embassy aboard the Citadel. Former admiral Han'Gerrel has reportedly reluctantly agreed to serve as the Quarian ambassador and will work closely with his Geth counterpart in coordinating with the allied militaries. There have been rumors that they could be granted a joint seat on the Council as well, but the Council has reportedly deadlocked on this issue with Humanity and the Turians for the addition and the Asari and Salarians against. For the time being the Council membership will remain at four."

The correspondent looked downward before returning her gaze to her audience. "Some civilizations are struggling to survive. The Batarians lost their home world, their fleets, and much of their insular population. There has been some question as to whether they would be able to recover as a species. Surprisingly, the greatest source of support for the Batarians has come from the Krogan. Urdnot Wrex, de facto leader of the Krogan, issued a statement declaring that the Krogan know what it is like to be a species on the verge of extinction and that they would work with the Batarians to reclaim worlds so that they can grow and rebuild their strength. The Krogan, invaluable ground troops over the course of the war against the Reapers, are in the midst of a population boom. With the genophage cured, it appears that Krogan who believed they would never have children are now doing so with gusto. There are attempts to manage this behavior by the co-leader of the Krogan government, a female whose name the Krogan declined to provide for this report. She is reportedly working to ensure the Krogan do not simply produce children for the purpose of war, but so that they can be raised knowing they are valued and to live lives of their own choosing. If she is successful, it would be a great relief to many, though only time will tell if the Krogan will remain allies. For the time being their lack of ships and need to clear multiple worlds of remaining Reaper forces acts as a check on their expansion."

"Other species will likely need support to recover as well. The Elcor and Hanar were never as wide spread as the Council races and suffered more acutely from Reaper attacks. The Council has stated they will work to assist these species in reestablishing themselves, but also warned that first and foremost the galaxy must rebuild and reclaim worlds that will aid in preparing for the return of the Reapers."

The correspondent completed her walk to the base of the Presidium Tower. "That remains the real question. It has always been in the nature of the various species of the galaxy to posture and maneuver, to jockey for power. It took the existential threat that the Reapers represent to bring the galaxy together, to work together just to survive. With the Reaper threat in abeyance, can the species of the galaxy maintain that cooperation? Or will they return to the backbiting and maneuvering that will create openings that the Reapers or their agents can exploit? We must never forget that the Reapers are not gone. There are Reaper ships that remain within our galaxy, in hiding. There are Reaper ships that are likely journeying here now from dark space. There are Reaper agents, indoctrinated servants, that will work to destabilize and distract the galactic powers to aid the return of the Reapers." She stepped nearer to the camera and it held on a tight shot of her face. "We must never forget. The reminders of what the Reapers can and will do are all around us. We must be vigilant and we must remember that though the price may be high, we must do what is necessary to crush the Reapers wherever we may find them, or when they once again find us. I'm Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani with the Galactic News Network. Thank you for watching." The camera pulled back and the broadcast ended on a shot of the statue of Commander John Shepard, eyes locked on some distant target, vigilant, his assault rifle braced against his right hip, pointed to the sky.

* * *

The man who had been Commander John Shepard deactivated the video display. He sat in his comfortable clothes on a comfortable couch in a comfortable house and contemplated the history he had just seen summarized, one might even say bowdlerized. His history. It was strange to see himself eulogized by a reporter he had once loathed to the point of considering physical assault. But she had changed, grown, become someone he could respect. Despite her lingering bias in favor of humanity, she had made an effort to be even handed, to give credit to where it was due, something that would never have occurred to her when she worked for the rabidly pro-human, anti-fact Westerlund News.

She had also made an attempt at accuracy, but Shepard knew there was no way she could hope to report on the details of what truly occurred during and following the Battle for Earth. Or on his own history that often seemed to read like a Blasto action movie. She had drawn on what information was available and seemed to have some sources within the Alliance military. Shepard could see Admiral Hackett's fingerprints on much of the information that had been 'leaked' to the media.

Hackett didn't need a saint or a devil. A saint could do no wrong leaving the anger of the Asari and others with only the faceless monolith of the Systems Alliance for a target. A devil would be beyond redemption and invite anger at the Alliance for empowering such a dangerous monster, a wastrel of lives and worlds. Either version would be outside of what humanity, indeed most galactic species, could conceive. Either version would only feed into the 'Legend of Commander Shepard' for better or worse.

Hackett was able to put forth Admiral Anderson as the hero. He needed Commander Shepard to be simply a man. An imperfect human who had done great things, but also made great mistakes. A man who could be the target of anger, but also of empathy. Create that dichotomy and enough ambiguity with phrasing like 'some people say' and you have the ability to confuse the situation just enough, deflect and absorb just enough of the anger to hold alliances together. Hopefully. Regardless, Shepard had to give credit to Admiral Hackett and his team of propagandists.

There were, however, some things that Hackett could not control. Even with the Reaper threat continuing to hang over the galaxy, the species would jockey for what power they could, would strive to be the ones directing that power. Humanity and the Turians were clearly working closely together, something that would have been inconceivable given the history of the First Contact War. Yet there it was. With the positive relations Humanity and the Turians both maintained with the Quarians and Geth, largely due to Shepard's actions in helping to regain their home world, the majority of power looked to lie in that alliance.

Looks could be deceiving, however. Relations with the Asari had undoubtedly cooled for Humanity with the Salarians and their fleets filling the void with support for Asari efforts to reconnect with their lost colonies. While Shepard was sure there was no concrete evidence to confirm it, he would be very surprised if the Salarians had not indirectly influenced the Krogan decision to aid the Batarians. Given their history with the Krogans the Salarians would have to tread lightly, but who would have predicted the close cooperation between the Alliance and the Turians? Fortunately, both Wrex and Bakara were extremely canny. As long as they stayed in power no one would have an easy time manipulating the Krogan and Shepard thought it likely that even with Salarian influence the Krogan offer to aid the Batarians was likely sincere.

None of the species would purposely provide an opening for the Reapers or their agents, but governments were as fallible as individuals, perhaps more so. There would be Reaper agents looking to exploit division and anger, to stir up old hatred and new feelings of repression or resentment. It was enough to make Shepard think he would have been better off accompanying Javik aboard the Crucible.

As far as the Alliance, the galaxy, was concerned Shepard had done just that. Commander John Shepard was dead. He could have joined Javik in delivering the Crucible to its target, but that was not something that was necessary, only expected. The universe had seen fit to inflict a sadistic multiple-choice decision on him. He could have chosen one of the answers, or none of them, but Shepard had come to the conclusion that the best answer to that dilemma was 'all of the above'. Hackett had been right. A living Shepard would have been a lightning rod for anger and awe severely complicating efforts to hold alliances together. And Javik was right. At least some of that desire to see Shepard sacrifice himself stemmed from fear and even jealousy from within the Alliance and their allies. His death was not necessary to see the Crucible to its target. It was symbolic. And symbols could be very useful to the Alliance propagandists. But, Garrus was right as well. Sometimes you have to say 'fuck you and all your machinations' and go lounge on the beach with loved ones and a stiff drink. And EDI was right. Sometimes you just need to lay low and let people believe you are gone. And Tali, the woman with whom he'd found love, had been right. Rannoch was a sanctuary for him. The Quarian leadership had quietly granted him asylum. It had been the simplest of things to announce that Commander Shepard had boarded the Crucible and met his inevitable glorious death while he instead boarded a Quarian vessel, along with sufficient levo based supplies, to be taken to Rannoch. It would be several years before outsiders would be allowed to freely visit the world. Shepard's answer was not the one Admiral Hackett had expected, but he was true to his word and respected Shepard's choice. He even provided Shepard with a parting gift. Hackett had clearly emphasized Shepard's past relationship with Liara while concealing his relationship with Tali.

Shepard stood and crossed to the large window that dominated one wall of the living area. He looked across the waving grasses to the distant rocky cliffs. Behind him, the orange sun of Rannoch was rising over the beach and ocean the house overlooked. The shadows from the house and rock formations stretched into the distance. Overhead, no Reaper appeared to snuff out his dream.

Very few Quarians were aware of Shepard's presence on Rannoch. He lived at a distance from, though technically still part of, the settlement of Neema. Shepard smiled at that. The Quarians had spent three hundred years defining themselves by the ships on which they lived. Large blocks of the population had retained those groupings. The inhabitants of large vessels like the Neema and Rayya founded settlements named after their vessel. The inhabitants of smaller vessels might form suburbs or neighborhoods associated with vessels they had been close with while part of the migrant fleet. They now had three terms to describe their status in society. 'nar' continued to mean 'child of' followed by the ship or settlement they belonged to. Crew members of vessels continued to refer to themselves as 'vas' meaning 'crew of' and the name of the ship. Those who lived in settlements and had completed their pilgrimage were referred to as 'bur' meaning 'citizen of' and the settlement name. Quarians had briefly flirted with appending 'Rannoch' to the end of each person's name before realizing how this would quickly lose any meaning and become ridiculous.

The pilgrimage itself had been impacted by the Quarians' return to Rannoch. Quarians could continue to complete their pilgrimage off world, but with a planet of resources to now draw upon the emphasis was placed on gifts of knowledge about the changing state of the galaxy. Aspiring adults could also opt to remain on planet and explore new areas and resources for use by the Quarians and Geth.

Shepard again found himself smiling, something he had done more and more in the three months since his arrival on Rannoch. For the first time, Shepard was helping to create. In this case a new society on a new world. The Quarian and Geth leadership of course knew of his presence and did not hesitate to draw on his knowledge to aid their communication with each other and assist them in planning for the Reapers. Shepard also provided valuable assistance in how to negotiate with foreign governments and would be available for meetings with certain foreign emissaries who knew of his presence on Rannoch. He had even formed a partnership with a Geth who assisted him by downloading into the Quarian style environmental suit he would wear when he would meet with the Quarian and Geth leaders. This Geth partner had complete files on Shepard and chose to be called 'Sancho' while working with Shepard. Shepard had not yet taken the time to find out what significance that designation might have. The suit also made a good disguise on the off chance anyone might see him and if his legs seemed not to bend in a proper Quarian way, no one seemed to mind.

Shepard would be meeting with just such a foreign emissary that afternoon. A certain Turian who was an important military advisor to Primarch Victus. The Turian had graciously offered to meet Shepard at his home that afternoon and take him to the meeting that evening. That would leave plenty of time for the old friends to sit on the beach and drink and reminisce. Then they would have their meeting. They would plan and update and do what they could to prepare for the Reapers. Then Shepard would have a surprise for his old friend. This certain Turian was going to be the best man at his wedding the next day. And he was going to dance just like he jokingly promised as they prepared to assault the Conduit.

Orange light from the rising sun spilled into the room as the door to the bedroom swung open. Framed in the doorway stood the woman he loved. She had once questioned a relationship with him, insisting he deserved a woman he could look at any time he chose. With the time they had spent together and the aid of Bit in building her immune system they could be together indefinitely in this home. And they reveled in it. Freed from the requirements of her suit, Tali thoroughly enjoyed the freedom of going without her suit. That was something Shepard would certainly not complain about. She stood now, freshly arisen from bed, her dark hair loose and wearing a filmy negligee that Shepard had purchased for her, though the gift was at least equally for himself. She placed her hands on either side of the door frame and the negligee rode up and spread itself across her body. The morning sun shining through the material did amazing things to her body. And his as well. He found himself walking toward her almost without thinking.

"So, John. How long until your meeting?"

"We've got time. More time than I could have ever hoped." He reached for her wanting to kiss her, hold her, take her back to their bed and make love with her.

As he reached for her she stepped away, turning so he could clearly see the curve of her hips and buttocks. "Are you sure? If you're busy I could get dressed and get to work on those schematics for the Conclave."

Shepard laughed and caught her up in his arms, spinning them both into the bed where he kissed her deeply. He reached up and pulled the ribbon that held her negligee closed. "I'm sure. This is what I want, now and forever. The universe can wait…for a while anyway." She simply smiled and pulled him back into the kiss.

Shepard ran his hands over the woman he loved. Felt her reality and knew he truly was home. Tomorrow he would marry her. Make himself truly part of clan Zorah. Commander John Shepard was dead, may he rest in peace. John'Zorah bur Neema would happily rise in his place and live. If his ghosts were restless with that decision he would focus on the billions of ghosts that never were because of his choices. His life had been a long series of choices that had led him to this place, like any life he supposed, if more dramatic. He could accept that or be torn apart by it. As his lips and tongue brushed those of Tali, as he felt her breath, inhaled her scent, he realized he truly could live with that.

END

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*Author's note: I hope that those of you who have read this story enjoyed it and view it as time well spent. I want to thank everyone who took the time to read it, especially those who followed or favorited. Knowing that there were people reading and enjoying my efforts made it a worthwhile experience. As always, feedback is appreciated. I enjoyed doing this so much that I will be writing a new story (not so epic in scope) that I will be able to complete prior to the release of Andromeda. I invite everyone to check that story out as well and wish each of you good health and happiness.


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